Story I still haven't waken up from this nightmare of a disease

[Cryptonite]

It's been many months since I've been diagnosed with Scheuermann's disease, a devastating spinal disease causing progressive, chronic and severe back pain. It needs to be diagnosed and treated early, but it was misdiagnosed by two doctors. Also, my parents didn't realize the warning that came in the form of a rather mild back pain I used to have as a child. They believed it was just some "tense muscles". In addition to that, my kind of this already rare disease was atypical, resulting in my back looking visually almost normal.

Before I was diagnosed with this disease, I had a severe mental illness that made me suffer extremely since I was a small child, but I was cured thanks to the state-of-the-art treatment. It made it possible for me, for the first time, to have some friends, girlfriend, job, hobbies, studies... all the things that were deemed impossible.

And now I'm here. It's been all lost. Scheuermann's disease took everything from me once again. It's such a nightmare that I still haven't accepted it. Not even slightly. I want to live. I have a really deep wish for staying alive, but life makes no sense anymore because of the pain. All I can feel is the extreme rage and deep sense of unfairness for having been given such a ridiculous destiny.

How should I overcome this and become more comfortably committed to CTB?

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Not having this condition, it is hard to put oneself in your shoes. I was just reading about this disease and it sounds horrible. How old are you? I was just reading that "Scheuermann's disease does not typically get worse once the individual has stopped growing. For adults with Scheuermann's kyphosis, the treatment is usually observation, anti-inflammatory medications (such as NSAIDs). Reconstructive surgery may be considered if the symptoms are severe and disabling, however. ( Ref: scheuermanns-disease ). I really, honestly have no idea what to tell you about overcoming your rage and sense of unfairness, which I have no doubt I would feel, too, if in your situation. If I were in your situation, and had other things going for me, like a girlfriend, friends, hobbies, etc., maybe I'd get my materials together to ctb, whatever that method is, and just have them "on hand", and see where things go. I 'm not telling you, or even suggesting to you, not to ctb. That's entirely up to you. Only you can know what is right for you in your circumstances. Sometimes it helps just to have things on hand, just in case, at least that's what a lot of others here on SS say. There seems to be some kind of treatment for your condition, how good, I have no idea. Only you're going to know how much you can handle. Maybe there are other doctors more versed in this condition that you can seek out? I wish you luck and success in whatever you decide on doing.

 

[meetapple]

Didn't the doctor who diagnosed you give you exercises and stretches to do? They should alleviate the pain. I have Scheuermann's as well. My dad Is an Orthopedic Surgeon and he decided against putting me in a brace as I was younger which he admits might have helped me a little. But he gave me a daily regimen of exercises to do which keeps me pain free.

 

[Cryptonite]

Didn't the doctor who diagnosed you give you exercises and stretches to do? They should alleviate the pain. I have Scheuermann's as well. My dad Is an Orthopedic Surgeon and he decided against putting me in a brace as I was younger which he admits might have helped me a little. But he gave me a daily regimen of exercises to do which keeps me pain free.

Yes, but my parents didn't take the doctor seriously, because my pain was very mild and they thought it was just some tense muscles. The doctor said it was just from sports or sitting too long at the computer. Proper exercising in childhood can cure the condition and prevent discs from degeneration, in adulthood it sadly doesn't really work...

Not having this condition, it is hard to put oneself in your shoes. I was just reading about this disease and it sounds horrible. How old are you? I was just reading that "Scheuermann's disease does not typically get worse once the individual has stopped growing. For adults with Scheuermann's kyphosis, the treatment is usually observation, anti-inflammatory medications (such as NSAIDs). Reconstructive surgery may be considered if the symptoms are severe and disabling, however. ( Ref: scheuermanns-disease ). I really, honestly have no idea what to tell you about overcoming your rage and sense of unfairness, which I have no doubt I would feel, too, if in your situation. If I were in your situation, and had other things going for me, like a girlfriend, friends, hobbies, etc., maybe I'd get my materials together to ctb, whatever that method is, and just have them "on hand", and see where things go. I 'm not telling you, or even suggesting to you, not to ctb. That's entirely up to you. Only you can know what is right for you in your circumstances. Sometimes it helps just to have things on hand, just in case, at least that's what a lot of others here on SS say. There seems to be some kind of treatment for your condition, how good, I have no idea. Only you're going to know how much you can handle. Maybe there are other doctors more versed in this condition that you can seek out? I wish you luck and success in whatever you decide on doing.

Thank you for your support. I'm surprised the websites you found refer about this disease correctly, in most cases they just downplay it. Sadly, I've run out of all the options, surgery is not possible due to how extensive the disease is. I've been to 10-15 doctors, including the researchers of this disease...

Yes, I informed everyone around me about my decisionmaking proces

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really awful what you have to endure. It is such a cruel life and it is sad how people are forced into these situations. It is understandable as to why you would feel the way you do. I think to answer the question, only you know when it is the right time to leave and you cannot force yourself to feel a certain way. I just think that many people have a method plan and then they get desperate and they just go, it is a feeling of certainty they have, all that they want is to escape and they have no more doubts. I hope that you find relief from your suffering in whatever happens.

 

[lost_ally]

It's been many months since I've been diagnosed with Scheuermann's disease, a devastating spinal disease causing progressive, chronic and severe back pain. It needs to be diagnosed and treated early, but it was misdiagnosed by two doctors. Also, my parents didn't realize the warning that came in the form of a rather mild back pain I used to have as a child. They believed it was just some "tense muscles". In addition to that, my kind of this already rare disease was atypical, resulting in my back looking visually almost normal.

Before I was diagnosed with this disease, I had a severe mental illness that made me suffer extremely since I was a small child, but I was cured thanks to the state-of-the-art treatment. It made it possible for me, for the first time, to have some friends, girlfriend, job, hobbies, studies... all the things that were deemed impossible.

And now I'm here. It's been all lost. Scheuermann's disease took everything from me once again. It's such a nightmare that I still haven't accepted it. Not even slightly. I want to live. I have a really deep wish for staying alive, but life makes no sense anymore because of the pain. All I can feel is the extreme rage and deep sense of unfairness for having been given such a ridiculous destiny.

How should I overcome this and become more comfortably committed to CTB?

Hey Cryptonite,

I am so sorry to hear this :( it's horrible being in chronic pain, I can relate in many ways.
There are a couple of things which I think may help and if they do, it'll be so wonderful for you to get the relief. Even if it means easing, rather than a direct cure.
I do believe in spontaneous healing when it seems impossible as our bodies and brains are beyond anything we can comprehend.

The first is TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) to include acupuncture and herbal medicines. They work so, so well. Especially if you're not a fan of Western pharmaceuticals which only mask the problem.

The second is the use of Morphic Fields (Free or Patreon subscriptions to download the fields effectively.) My favourite one is Sapien Medicine. They have a forum (enlightenedstates), I highly recommend it and asking them their advice.
You can find the majority of their videos on YouTube and it'll tell you how long to use each field for. Most are 2-3 times a day and there are some you can listen to as much as you need.
The forum and website go into full depth as to how these work, but the testimonials really do speak for themselves.
There are fields for absolutely everything you can think of.
They also own the channel Dream Seeds, which do a lot of emotional healing fields and even a field for refreshing the air in your room!
There are fields for pain, mental health, nutrients...detoxifying...you name it. It's there.
Worth a try. It has helped me so much, and my cats too :)
Accept and believe they're working and the magic happens. It's not all in your mind though, it just needs acceptance to work with no resistance.

I hope this helps you in your journey. I wish you so much healing and to enjoy life again.

Ally x