I start my new job tomorrow and I'm not going to be smart enough

[Braindead Atheist]

I'm retarded and my parents force me to work. In the past, i did a fulfilment job at target and wasn't fat enough and got demoted. my job before that i was bullied for not being able to do the job. I accepted a new job at macys doing fulfillment and i guess register. Just seasonal. i'm killing myself if i can't do it. i have a lot of trouble remembering a lot of things at once and have to analyze each step and do stuff while people are telling me how to do it. and then MAYBE i can succeed. this is how the retarded brain works-it doesn't.
i try to appear as though i' not retarded but in the end i just don't understand. my iq is so low that i have no working memory and can't do math. i was so stupid that i had to go get 1on 1 support at another school for 2 .5 hours a day in elementary school. it was so frustrating i cried. luckily the principal was nice and took me for a walk and talked to me. but the world stopped being kind since then and some times i wish none of it ever happened so i never knew the difference.

please help me-i need to find a easy way out of this life. i'm done and ready to go to the void. ready to forget all-the good and the bad. ready to let go.

 

[Darkover]

how neglectful of your parents for not giving you the proper care you deserve and forcing you to work when you arent even capable,i wish humans wouldn't have children unless they can provided for them for the rest of their lives .

 

[Losteverythingtwice]

I think you probably have confidence issues, and maybe lack of support of family. Maybe attempt to address these things rather than going down path of suicide over this.

 

[meetapple]

Are you capable of any job? Don't let your parents browbeat you into applying for jobs you can't handle. If there are jobs you can do and can see yourself doing apply for those.

 

[Myono93]

Try your best. The worst case scenario is you get fired. Macy's doesn't give a shit about you. Even if you perform they'll have no loyalty to you and management will think little of you. If you don't do well think of of it as giving Macy's a hard time. Best of luck. I know this is a cliche of suicide forums but I can tell by your writing that you aren't retarded.

 

[Werewolf]

I'm certain there is something out there that you would excel at.
A job is just a job try it out and if it doesn't work you atleast got some experience for the next one.

 

[whywere]

Hello! right off the bat, YOU are NOT anything but a very kind, thoughtful and ambitious person. You are a winner! How may you ask? Well 1st off you take a position at Macy's after other situations and that in its self shows how determined and also smart and brave you are.

I will share a part of my past to show you why you are smart and very capable. I had a part-time position for 16 years and within that position I would help new hires with computers and phones, it was a call center. After awhile I could pick out which ones would make it and which ones would not. The 1 over riding factor was always a persons determination to want to do it. I can remember plenty of folks who needed extra time but you know what? They were always the very best at their positions because they stayed with it.

I look at you and I read the very same thing in you, bright, determined and you want to do a great job. I truly believe in you, I would love to work with some one of your caliber.

Please do not be so hard on yourself, again, I 100% believe in you, and you will shine brighter than any star in the sky.

Sending you lots of hugs, kindness and a rock solid faith in you and your abilities,

Walter

 

[logan]

A new job means stress for everyone.
After a few days you are back in the material.

And as has already been said - in the worst case you lose the job again.

But maybe this is also a good chance.

 

[Esc9434]

You probably need to apply to a special needs job.

 

[Hurt]

Wish you the best on your new job. It's difficult to focus on daily tasks when you have these thoughts.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

Hello! right off the bat, YOU are NOT anything but a very kind, thoughtful and ambitious person. You are a winner! How may you ask? Well 1st off you take a position at Macy's after other situations and that in its self shows how determined and also smart and brave you are.

I will share a part of my past to show you why you are smart and very capable. I had a part-time position for 16 years and within that position I would help new hires with computers and phones, it was a call center. After awhile I could pick out which ones would make it and which ones would not. The 1 over riding factor was always a persons determination to want to do it. I can remember plenty of folks who needed extra time but you know what? They were always the very best at their positions because they stayed with it.

I look at you and I read the very same thing in you, bright, determined and you want to do a great job. I truly believe in you, I would love to work with some one of your caliber.

Please do not be so hard on yourself, again, I 100% believe in you, and you will shine brighter than any star in the sky.

Sending you lots of hugs, kindness and a rock solid faith in you and your abilities,

Walter

You are so sweet! Again, we'll see how it goes.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds stressful what are going through, I can relate to not being smart. I understand it can be hard to carry on when you are overwhelmed. Life really is stressful and tiring. I hope things work out for you.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

It sounds stressful what are going through, I can relate to not being smart. I understand it can be hard to carry on when you are overwhelmed. Life really is stressful and tiring. I hope things work out for you.

suicide sounds so good right now

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Just try it out. You never know it could go great. What is the worse that could happen? You fail and then give up or you try again. Good luck and congrats on a job. Sounds like you're not supported correctly by your family. I wish you best there. I also hate working I use to like working however once I realized what things are I lost desire for it

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

I very much doubt that you're 'retarded' and this is a belief that you need to try to change. I get that that's hard when it's all you've been told but honestly, fuck those people.

It's hard to retain even basic information when you're depressed and have anxiety. Even high IQ people can struggle in minimum wage jobs if they're crippled by mental health issues. You're not a 'retard', you're struggling.

By even managing to get jobs in the first place, you're doing better than you think. You're getting up, going out and passing interviews. This is no mean feat and you need to start praising yourself for the things you do achieve.

As for the people who are nasty to you, turn it on them; what are THEIR failings? I guarantee they have a lot. You need to remember that. Who are they to judge you? You're doing your best and they're being nasty. They don't get to judge you.

Start by telling yourself you aren't a retard. Everyday.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

You probably need to apply to a special needs job.

How do I do that?

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

How do I do that?

Depending where you are, you could speak to an advisor in the job centre. Now don't get me wrong, I hate job centre employees because they seem to be sadists but you might get at least something useful out of it.

Just don't let them sign you up to any bullshit 'training' courses, they'll make you feel even worse and they never end in employment.

 

[Beau]

Having a job can be stressful, but so can being unemployed and isolated at home.

I wish someone could advocate for you and provide job training and placement based on your skills and abilities. Have you or your parents contacted any local social services agency for help in this? I bet you would do great where people are more understanding and welcoming, and they probably would be able to find a place for you like that. Since you obviously can use a computer, there are lots of things you could do beyond fulfillment jobs.

IQ tests are poor measures of intelligence. Please don't use that to define yourself as a person. You are much more than that.

 

[idiot_dad]

I feel the same way when I start new jobs. One of the tricks, when I'm feeling nervous about a job I say "let's see how bad I can screw this up." Most of our jobs aren't that serious, and if a screw-up happens it's not life or death.

I also try and be kind to my co-workers. We spend so much of our time at work, we can make a huge difference just by being nice to others. Sometimes something as small as a kind or encouraging word to someone else can help with my mood.

Even though I don't know you, I believe in you and am hoping for the best for you!

 

[summers]

@Braindead Atheist we've talked a lot recently. You're way way too hard on yourself. That you are trying to work, and worried about how you will perform shows a lot more character than many people.

Also, trust me, you are just as smart as anyone else. Everyone learns differently, and it's unfortunate that you didn't get the quality of help you deserved. The number of hours doesn't matter when the strategies are ineffective.

If there's anything I can do to help, hmu in chat or text me.

 

[Quinlor]

Are you really retarded?

 

[summers]

Are you really retarded?

Really? Are you?

 

[Beau]

How do I do that?

If you are in the U.S. every state has a "vocational rehabilitation agency". Do an online search for that along with the state name. But many other countries have this same kind of service, too.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

Are you really retarded?

maybe

 

[Quinlor]

maybe

I sincerely believe not, you just need more confidence . But it's just my wish... And maybe yours

 

[Braindead Atheist]

Hi all! Update here; I couldn't take the job due to some technical error on email. Long story. I just got a different fulfilment job at excellingence. I know that i'm not smart enough and will screw it up, but i have to work. suicide will be my way out when I fail. I'm going to take a bunch of pills hang myself and I've found the perfect spot! Do you guys know what easy access pills could kill me quick?