Venting I so badly want someone older in my life

[Valentino]

i wish i had some kind of parental figure in my life, i wish someone would hold me like i was a little kid. If you haven't guessed already my real parents were unkind to me as a child, i feel nothing good towards them and they used to hit me often. I want someone to take care of me, tell me what to do with my miserable life! I want to be coddled, stressed and fawned over. one time someone on this forum told me they were proud of me for never self harming and i cried for hours because it made me feel so happy and good. I want someone to treat me like im special and young, i know im too old to want this but i need it so bad! I always chase people who are older and try to be their friend but their not interested in talking to me or find me annoying. I had someone like this once and i was sooo happy, but they didn't even care about me and treated me bad. I miss them everyday and have to fight the urge to message them and beg them to take me back. I want attention so badly its driving me insane. If i just got to have this one thing I wouldn't want to ctb as much anymore.. please someone tell me that everything will be okay! Tell me I'm doing a good job!

 

[Artictart]

Things will be okay, you're doing great and I'm happy you're still here <3
I completely understand how you feel, I feel the exact same way
I sincerely hope that you find another person like them and they treat you well, I wish you the very best <3

 

[Valentino]

Things will be okay, you're doing great and I'm happy you're still here <3
I completely understand how you feel, I feel the exact same way
I sincerely hope that you find another person like them and they treat you well, I wish you the very best <3

Thank you, i hope you find someone too

 

[FuneralCry]

If you want people to give you false hope and toxic positivity platitudes then you are on the wrong site, you will probably find what you are searching for on a pro-life site where people are blinded by delusions. Nobody can guarantee that they won't suffer much more in the future so saying that "everything will okay no matter what" is a lie. But if you are looking for a more positive response then you are better off posting in the recovery section on here, those in the suicide discussion wanting to ctb are the ones who are realistic about existing.
But anyway best wishes.

 

[Valentino]

If you want people to give you false hope and toxic positivity platitudes then you are on the wrong site, you will probably find what you are searching for on a pro-life site where people are blinded by delusions. Nobody can guarantee that they won't suffer much more in the future so saying that "everything will okay no matter what" is a lie. But if you are looking for a more positive response then you are better off posting in the recovery section on here, those in the suicide discussion wanting to ctb are the ones who are realistic about existing.
But anyway best wishes.

Yeah your right, thanks. i don't want to exist but dying isn't really a peaceful option right now

 

[AerialBoundaries]

I used to seek out the validation of older folk when I was younger and I still do to a certain extent. I'm not particularly sure why. Possibly not having anybody to look up to when I was growing up, possibly having neglectful parents. I was always a kid that reacted well to positive reinforcement.

I know what it's like to fight the urge to message someone you lost contact with, though. It isn't easy, but I just tell myself that it's for the best if I'm not a part of their life. I've obviously gave in and messaged people in the past and it never ends well. Sometimes it's best to let sleeping dogs lie.

 

[Rational man]

i wish i had some kind of parental figure in my life, i wish someone would hold me like i was a little kid. If you haven't guessed already my real parents were unkind to me as a child, i feel nothing good towards them and they used to hit me often. I want someone to take care of me, tell me what to do with my miserable life! I want to be coddled, stressed and fawned over. one time someone on this forum told me they were proud of me for never self harming and i cried for hours because it made me feel so happy and good. I want someone to treat me like im special and young, i know im too old to want this but i need it so bad! I always chase people who are older and try to be their friend but their not interested in talking to me or find me annoying. I had someone like this once and i was sooo happy, but they didn't even care about me and treated me bad. I miss them everyday and have to fight the urge to message them and beg them to take me back. I want attention so badly its driving me insane. If i just got to have this one thing I wouldn't want to ctb as much anymore.. please someone tell me that everything will be okay! Tell me I'm doing a good job!

Are you or have you considered seeking help for your mindset?. Unfortunately, i think humankind has the tendency for idealism when in reality, people arrive in our lives unexpectedly. Im sorry to hear about your parents behaviour. I believe we are impacted emotionally by them in childhood. Best wishes.

 

[Valentino]

Are you or have you considered seeking help for your mindset?. Unfortunately, i think humankind has the tendency for idealism when in reality, people arrive in our lives unexpectedly. Im sorry to hear about your parents behaviour. I believe we are impacted emotionally by them in childhood. Best wishes.

I have a therapist, i think ill talk to her about it. I wish people would come into our lives when we needed them! I can't wait any longer!

I used to seek out the validation of older folk when I was younger and I still do to a certain extent. I'm not particularly sure why. Possibly not having anybody to look up to when I was growing up, possibly having neglectful parents. I was always a kid that reacted well to positive reinforcement.

I know what it's like to fight the urge to message someone you lost contact with, though. It isn't easy, but I just tell myself that it's for the best if I'm not a part of their life. I've obviously gave in and messaged people in the past and it never ends well. Sometimes it's best to let sleeping dogs lie.

I just worry that they could have been my last chance