TheRottingContinues
Low consciousness
- Aug 23, 2023
- 89
I started thinking about this recently, but even if I wasn't depressed then I still think I would choose to kill myself. It is just simply the best option out of all the ways to die. I could die of a disease, old age, a car crash or whatever, but I'm sure that I would choose to kill myself in every scenario. Is this me being egotistical? I don't know, but I suppose that if were to extinguish my flame of life, it would need to be by my own hand. Nothing else could compare.
I just think that life isn't for me. The way my brain or psyche works just makes it seem like this world, existence, and most importantly, this visceral feeling of being conscious disgusts me. I know this seems cliche, but I can compare it to the scene in The Matrix where Agent Smith says "I hate this place. This zoo, this prison, this reality, whatever you want to call it. It's the smell." I'm just simply grown tired of this feeling of being conscious, such as being constrained to only my own vision. I know that there is so much to this world that the human brain cannot experience. I know that this world is wonderful beyond human comprehension. But my consciousness keeps me trapped. You can probably see it too; little bits and pieces from the corners of our vision - the world outside of consciousness.
Maybe human consciousness can grow and evolve through time. But as for now, I'm so tired of existing and thinking in the same ways that I've always done.
I just think that life isn't for me. The way my brain or psyche works just makes it seem like this world, existence, and most importantly, this visceral feeling of being conscious disgusts me. I know this seems cliche, but I can compare it to the scene in The Matrix where Agent Smith says "I hate this place. This zoo, this prison, this reality, whatever you want to call it. It's the smell." I'm just simply grown tired of this feeling of being conscious, such as being constrained to only my own vision. I know that there is so much to this world that the human brain cannot experience. I know that this world is wonderful beyond human comprehension. But my consciousness keeps me trapped. You can probably see it too; little bits and pieces from the corners of our vision - the world outside of consciousness.
Maybe human consciousness can grow and evolve through time. But as for now, I'm so tired of existing and thinking in the same ways that I've always done.
