i should kill myself in the next few hours

[4Das]

I'm depressed and autistic, my life is horrible and idk how to take it anymore, something really bad happend that I don't want to really go into detail but I really can't take this anymore, I'm too scared and hurt and I should kill myself, I really can't live another day in this world but I don't have the courage to kill myself but I really can't take it anymore, please someone help me what should I do

 

[fluorescentpearl]

I'm sorry to hear that smt happened to push you this way : ( what method were you even planning to use?

 

[4Das]

I'm sorry to hear that smt happened to push you this way : ( what method were you even planning to use?

train as I don't really have access to anything else sadly

 

[fluorescentpearl]

train as I don't really have access to anything else sadly

I understand, trains r really scary, the ones that transit nearby go at around 120kmph here, theoretically I could go there too haha, have you done research into it around where you live?

 

[siphon_hyphen]

I wish I could tell you what to do, but I can't. I can't magically make anything better, as much as I desperately wish I could. But please make sure you're thinking this through. It seems like this might be an impulsive decision judging by how you mentioned there being an event trigger. I very strongly believe death has its place and that it is not inherently a bad thing, but I also think it is a decision only to be made in a proper state of mind.

I'm depressed and autistic, too. It sucks. It really, really sucks, and it always will suck. But maybe it could be some solace to know there's people in a similar boat who are still going?

 

[4Das]

I understand, trains r really scary, the ones that transit nearby go at around 120kmph here, theoretically I could go there too haha, have you done research into it around where you live?

yes, I have a good place near me and there's a really good place with the fastest train in Germany, I'm just not sure if it's full speed where I plan to do it but it should work if I let it decapitate me, I'm just really terrified of trains honestly

I wish I could tell you what to do, but I can't. I can't magically make anything better, as much as I desperately wish I could. But please make sure you're thinking this through. It seems like this might be an impulsive decision judging by how you mentioned there being an event trigger. I very strongly believe death has its place and that it is not inherently a bad thing, but I also think it is a decision only to be made in a proper state of mind.

I'm depressed and autistic, too. It sucks. It really, really sucks, and it always will suck. But maybe it could be some solace to know there's people in a similar boat who are still going?

thanks a lot yes this decision is pretty impulsive, I didn't plan to kill myself now I wanted to do it next year
but I may lose the person that is the only thing keeping me alive and even if I don't lose the person I lose the trust, I'm just horrible for that I just lied from time to time, not even really important lies I just didn't want to seem like the loser I am to the person but she doesn't understand this at all and is really mad, I think she will leave me and I'm deeply terrified, my heart is racing and I can barley breathe idk what to do it feels like I'm dying


it is comforting to see a person struggle with something similar, I really wish you only the best

 

[siphon_hyphen]

thanks a lot yes this decision is pretty impulsive, I didn't plan to kill myself now I wanted to do it next year
but I may lose the person that is the only thing keeping me alive and even if I don't lose the person I lose the trust, I'm just horrible for that I just lied from time to time, not even really important lies I just didn't want to seem like the loser I am to the person but she doesn't understand this at all and is really mad, I think she will leave me and I'm deeply terrified, my heart is racing and I can barley breathe idk what to do it feels like I'm dying


it is comforting to see a person struggle with something similar, I really wish you only the best

Abandonment is so, so, so scary. The idea of being left behind, whether it's with malice or not, is terrifying. Multiple times in my life, when people I've loved have left me due to my mental illness, I thought my life was over. I truly did. But I was too scared to do anything! And every day, every week, every little step forward after that, I pushed through. It was absolutely against my will, I wanted to die and I still do, but my mourning of the people I lost is less heavy now after so much time.

I can't say it'll get easier for you. For some people, it never gets easier. It's especially difficult to lose someone when it feels like they're all you have.

Something that comforts me to think about is that, no matter what, I'll still have me. People come and go, but no one can take myself away from me. That goes for you, too.

 

[fluorescentpearl]

yes, I have a good place near me and there's a really good place with the fastest train in Germany, I'm just not sure if it's full speed where I plan to do it but it should work if I let it decapitate me, I'm just really terrified of trains honestly

I see, that's a good option, but think of it this way.. The train will still be there tomorrow no? I know it hurts right now, but maybe you should sit with your thoughts about it for a while, before choosing to catch the train, it might help you avoid a regret, although I suppose once you're gone you won't be able to feel regret, who knows..

 

[4Das]

Abandonment is so, so, so scary. The idea of being left behind, whether it's with malice or not, is terrifying. Multiple times in my life, when people I've loved have left me due to my mental illness, I thought my life was over. I truly did. But I was too scared to do anything! And every day, every week, every little step forward after that, I pushed through. It was absolutely against my will, I wanted to die and I still do, but my mourning of the people I lost is less heavy now after so much time.

I can't say it'll get easier for you. For some people, it never gets easier. It's especially difficult to lose someone when it feels like they're all you have.

Something that comforts me to think about is that, no matter what, I'll still have me. People come and go, but no one can take myself away from me. That goes for you, too.

thank you so so much
I'm thinking of going swimming as the cold water could maybe make me feel something else for a moment, I will roll some cigarettes and try it I can do that, thanks a lot

 

[bloodmoonhypothesis]

yes, I have a good place near me and there's a really good place with the fastest train in Germany, I'm just not sure if it's full speed where I plan to do it but it should work if I let it decapitate me, I'm just really terrified of trains honestly

thanks a lot yes this decision is pretty impulsive, I didn't plan to kill myself now I wanted to do it next year
but I may lose the person that is the only thing keeping me alive and even if I don't lose the person I lose the trust, I'm just horrible for that I just lied from time to time, not even really important lies I just didn't want to seem like the loser I am to the person but she doesn't understand this at all and is really mad, I think she will leave me and I'm deeply terrified, my heart is racing and I can barley breathe idk what to do it feels like I'm dying


it is comforting to see a person struggle with something similar, I really wish you only the best

hey man if ur really wanting to do it its better to think it a bit first, if u still wanna do it then its okay, but just sit down a bit first and think out the options, with something like death, you should really be sure that you've hit the dead end before doing it.,If perhaps there is another way, then thats good, but if theres not you always have the choice to do it, today or tmrw, so you really dont have to rush it. Use that time to ur advantage