Story I really wanted a family.

[a.n.kirillov]

Don't say that! How old are you now ? You can still have a kid if you want. I feel like every woman should experience pregnancy if they want, before they die. It's intriguing that women can create human beings. It's our duty to pass on our genes if we have good ones to pass on.

It would be a solution because as women, we are here to reproduce our genes and continue the family name/legacy. It isn't "selfish". Bringing a baby into the world is a blessing & we were just sayin we (as women) want to reproduce at least once before we die. And maybe having the baby will make life worth living again. You never know!

Why would you encourage recklessness though? If she herself is intelligent (and sensible) enough to see that it would put the kids future and development at risk, why would someone encourage her? even if pregnancy was one continuous orgasm it wouldn't justify risking a kid having his mother die or fail him early on. Think about the kid ffs

It's our duty (...)

Yeah right, says fucking who? The tyrannical sky daddy? society, because it needs drones working in warehouses and laying bricks to build prisons?

If there's a duty here than it's your fucking duty to provide an excellent upbringing for the person you pop out of your birthcanal...

So let the woman use her own intelligence and don't encourage stupid behaviour, because that's how people end up on sites like these or in prisons and rehab facilities.

 

[nervousandanxious]

Why would you encourage recklessness though? If she herself is intelligent (and sensible) enough to see that it would put the kids future and development at risk, why would someone encourage her? even if pregnancy was one continuous orgasm it wouldn't justify risking a kid having his mother die or fail him early on. Think about the kid ffs

It's our duty (...)

Yeah right, says fucking who? The tyrannical sky daddy? society, because it needs drones working in warehouses and laying bricks to build prisons?

If there's a duty here than it's your fucking duty to provide an excellent upbringing for the person you pop out of your birthcanal...

No you dweeb! I'm saying if the mother decides to live. I'm not encouraging anything . Stop twisting what I said and please go away.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

@nervousandanxious

It isn't "selfish"

versus

Bringing a baby into the world is a blessing & we were just sayin we (as women) want to reproduce at least once before we die. And maybe having the baby will make life worth living again. You never know!

No you dweeb! I'm saying if the mother decides to live. I'm not encouraging anything . Stop twisting what I said and please go away.

My parents did that. They tried filling the hole in their heart from losing their first child with me and I can tell you, this is abuse. You are instrumentalizing a kid when you use it merely as a cope, as a thing to give you meaning, to make you happy. You might as well state you want one as an insurance for old age or to cut the grass in your backyard.

 

[GoBack]

Ok I have no plans to get pregnant. That time has passed. It's not the only reason I'm suicidal but whatever it doesn't matter. I'm over 40, in bad health and don't even look after myself properly anymore. Safe to say times up on that

 

[a.n.kirillov]

@nervousandanxious

As women, we have the maternal urge to reproduce before dying! I feel like I want to get pregnant and experience all this before I leave the world. That's the biggest hesitation I have about CTBing. I want to feel what it's like to be pregnant and feel the baby kick inside. Maybe it'll give us new meaning to life and make us want to stay ?!
Don't call the child "it"! Why did you get rid of this baby ?!

Maybe it would do you good to feel your future adult child kicking you in the face for your selfish motivations; I certainly felt this "urge" with my mother from time to time. You are reminding me of her.

Ironical how you say don't call the child it, while you are the one objectifying it as a means to your ends.

I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that you become infertile.

 

[Epsilon0]

Holy Molly!

@a.n.kirillov

I respect your opinions and I really like your posts, but I don't think it's acceptable to talk like this to a woman who says she wants kids, irrespective of how strongly you feel about life, procreation and birth.

"I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that you become infertile."

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Minor inconvenience for her, a life of suffering spared for a psychologically damaged child.

Not once has she spoken about the welfare of the kid. She is clearly incapable of raising a child, because she wants to use it as a means to an end, to see whether or not it's presence could deter her from ctbing, to make her happy. (Seriously?! and what if it doesn't? Oh, shit happens, just created an orphan child who will end up as a heroin addict).

So what, I can wish that an alcoholic lose his driver's license and that a rapist lose his libido.

We are talking about the most precious and delicate thing there is, a new, sentient little human being, the most impressionable animal on this planet, who can be fucked up even with the best intentions and under the best of circumstances.

I'm strongly opinionated on this and we can disagree, but I stand by my opinion until there is a mandatory license for raising-kids-ability.

 

[itsamadworld]

I am a female, 39, and I was skeptical of starting a family.....From early on...I still have not, and very much doubt that I will. ...The thing is, in my late 20's I became more attractive to the opposite gender, or i first noticed it....I had many opportunities too start a family. But I have BPD/ Female Aspburgers, and I just knew that I wasn't going to be an emotionally fit mother. My own mother wasn't emotionally equipped to handle three children, and neither was my father., and it really hurt me, because I was the last....I think if I grew up in a family, that valued a highly sensitive person or had the time, I might have come out alright..BUt even my siblings are really suffering....IT just took them longer to get there than me, and they have children, now all my sibling's suffering is being laid on them.....But the reason why it was sooner for me, there's no value for my kind in this callous society. So why should I bother to create more potential suffering? That's what I always asked myself, and I have not stopped....

 

[AcornUnderground]

Bad for you guys, but probably better for all the children who didn't have to grow up with a dysfunctional, mentally unstable parent who browses websites like these.

I realized at ten years old that everyone who claims to be competent enough to raise a child is stupid, and everyone with enough intelligence to realize their own stupidity will not want to raise a child.

Everyone is incompetent at raising a child, it's something you can't not fuck up.

I know ALOT of really, really good parents.

 

[Epsilon0]

@a.n.kirillov

Well, if you think that wishing infertility on someone you just met on a forum and literally know for two minutes is acceptable, then I have nothing to add.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

I know ALOT of really, really good parents.

Okay, what are you trying to say? I know good parents as well; they usually had everything thought out beforehand financially, organizationally, etc ... They had stable incomes and stable psychologies, they invested money for the kids to go to college, they invested time and energy into their education and well-being. Th ey were responsible, capable, functional people.

@a.n.kirillov

Well, if you think that wishing infertility on someone you just met on a forum and literally know for two minutes is acceptable, then I have nothing to add.

Well it was based on what she said. Btw I don't believe that my wishes come true otherwise I might have inquired some more into her reasoning and character.

Where do you draw the line?

What it I told you I wanted to have a child as an organ donor later on in my life?
Or if I said I wanted him so that I get state assistence (Kindergeld) to pay for my heroin addiction?

You will draw a line somewhere, and my line is when someone says they want a child to have meaning in their life, when they are on the brink of ctbing.

 

[AcornUnderground]

Okay, what are you trying to say? I know good parents as well; they usually had everything thought out beforehand financially, organizationally, etc ... They had stable incomes and stable psychologies, they invested money for the kids to go to college, they invested time and energy into their education and well-being. Th ey were responsible, capable, functional people.

YES. Totally agree emotionally unstable or financially unstable or physically ill people should not have kids. I won't post again on this - only because I am getting a sense that I tend to derail threads - but your post suggests that all people should not have children. Like it's a selfish thrust of a human into a hell of a world. The world isn't always hell, and life is more often than not a gift.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

@AcornUnderground

but your post suggests that all people should not have children

This is something I believe privately, but would not impose or assert as strongly (or at all) in public and is not what I was trying to say.

 

[Realist101]

Don't say that! How old are you now ? You can still have a kid if you want. I feel like every woman should experience pregnancy if they want, before they die. It's intriguing that women can create human beings. It's our duty to pass on our genes if we have good ones to pass on.

It would be a solution because as women, we are here to reproduce our genes and continue the family name/legacy. It isn't "selfish". Bringing a baby into the world is a blessing & we were just sayin we (as women) want to reproduce at least once before we die. And maybe having the baby will make life worth living again. You never know!

Having a child would never be a permanent solution. I am truly sorry that you were raised to believe that risking your life and health in childbirth, while also forcing someone to exist who will inevitably die, would somehow fix all of your problems. Forcing a kid to have your same "family name" isn't a solution.

There are plenty of people here who had children and hate their lives, and they never thought their life could get this bad until now. Having children didn't fix their problems at all.

Have you seen how many people on this site are here because their child died, often times from suicide? There are many people with children on this site who are now regretting the fact they ever had children.

The people with children here are struggling every day being unable to cope with life, but they have kids and are afraid to leave the kids behind. What a horrifying situation...

If a suicidal person chooses to have children, they are choosing to be in that horrifying situation. And, you admitted that having a child only "might" make life worth living. So that proves you already realize that you could still be suicidal after having a child. Saying you have an "urge" to do something does not make your actions morally acceptable.

Also, birth caused all infertility. If we don't want any woman to experience infertility ever again, we should prevent birthing people who could become infertile or experience miscarriage. Birth caused those things to happen. I hope you will reread that a few times to let it really sink in.

You said it is a woman's duty to have children. But women can do other things with their lives. I hope you spend some time questioning your beliefs and looking at all of the evidence that supports my claims :)

 

[nervousandanxious]

@nervousandanxious

As women, we have the maternal urge to reproduce before dying! I feel like I want to get pregnant and experience all this before I leave the world. That's the biggest hesitation I have about CTBing. I want to feel what it's like to be pregnant and feel the baby kick inside. Maybe it'll give us new meaning to life and make us want to stay ?!
Don't call the child "it"! Why did you get rid of this baby ?!

Maybe it would do you good to feel your future adult child kicking you in the face for your selfish motivations; I certainly felt this "urge" with my mother from time to time. You are reminding me of her.

Ironical how you say don't call the child it, while you are the one objectifying it as a means to your ends.

I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that you become infertile.

Lol go fuck your self loser. You need to see a psychologist and STAT
J

@nervousandanxious

It isn't "selfish"

versus

Bringing a baby into the world is a blessing & we were just sayin we (as women) want to reproduce at least once before we die. And maybe having the baby will make life worth living again. You never know!

My parents did that. They tried filling the hole in their heart from losing their first child with me and I can tell you, this is abuse. You are instrumentalizing a kid when you use it merely as a cope, as a thing to give you meaning, to make you happy. You might as well state you want one as an insurance for old age or to cut the grass in your backyard.

just cuz your life was abusive doesn't mean my future child's life will be.

Having a child would never be a permanent solution. I am truly sorry that you were raised to believe that risking your life and health in childbirth, while also forcing someone to exist who will inevitably die, would somehow fix all of your problems. Forcing a kid to have your same "family name" isn't a solution.

There are plenty of people here who had children and hate their lives, and they never thought their life could get this bad until now. Having children didn't fix their problems at all.

Have you seen how many people on this site are here because their child died, often times from suicide? There are many people with children on this site who are now regretting the fact they ever had children.

The people with children here are struggling every day being unable to cope with life, but they have kids and are afraid to leave the kids behind. What a horrifying situation...

If a suicidal person chooses to have children, they are choosing to be in that horrifying situation. And, you admitted that having a child only "might" make life worth living. So that proves you already realize that you could still be suicidal after having a child. Saying you have an "urge" to do something does not make your actions morally acceptable.

Also, birth caused all infertility. If we don't want any woman to experience infertility ever again, we should prevent birthing people who could become infertile or experience miscarriage. Birth caused those things to happen. I hope you will reread that a few times to let it really sink in.

You said it is a woman's duty to have children. But women can do other things with their lives. I hope you spend some time questioning your beliefs and looking at all of the evidence that supports my claims :)

Shut up already please. I'm not going to waste my time arguing back and forth with such ignorance. You just have a bad outlook on children in general. Who says the kid will become suicidal or hate life ?? I am giving another human being with my DNA another chance at life and hoping he/she will have a better outcome than I did. You don't understand what I'm saying. It's a woman's duty to have a baby before she dies. To pass on her legacy and keep the family generation going, IF she believes she has good genes. I'm not saying she HAS to, but if she wants to then so be it. Now shut ur big mouth already! Thx.

 

[porfin1234]

It takes a lot of work that I simply did not put in so I ran away from my chance to have that family.

I never wanted to have my own kid due to my mental health but I sucked at being a step mom too (which I felt was the ideal situation). I do have some great memories when I really did try. Baths, bedtime stories, water balloon fights, meals as a family. Now I've given up on having that happy little family.

It takes a lot of work, love, sacrifice, selflessness, and communication skills to maintain a good family environment. I guess I wasn't ready and not sure I ever will be at this point. It's unfair to expect other people to make you feel better about yourself or make you want to live. No one can save us but ourselves.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

It takes a lot of work that I simply did not put in so I ran away from my chance to have that family.

I never wanted to have my own kid due to my mental health but I sucked at being a step mom too (which I felt was the ideal situation). Now I've given up on having that happy little family.

It takes a lot of work, love, sacrifice, selflessness, and communication skills to maintain a good family environment. I guess I wasn't ready and not sure I ever will be at this point.

You've been given another chance and you don't even realize it yet. Hopefully you do before it's too late!

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Lol go fuck your self loser. You need to see a psychologist and STAT
J

just cuz your life was abusive doesn't mean my future child's life will be.

That's what she said (my mom)...

"I always told myself, my kids will one day have it better than me".

Funnily enough, she was married to an abusive man. Her mother said the exact same line (I asked her) and was also married to an abusive man, and her mother was also married to an abusive man. These men were all narcissistic alcoholics, their sons were all fuck ups and the daughters and granddaughters all married abusive men.

Why? Can you give any good reasons why you believe your child won't end up on this website? How are you going to shield them from that? Can you provide for them? Will you make sure you are not contemplating suicide anymore before having a child? Do you have enough monetary resources? Extended family to take care of them in case you kill yourself? These are the important questions, not whether you want to feel the baby kicking your stomach. Can you provide an excellent childhood for this person? Are you healthy? What do you think the world will look like in ten, twenty, thirty, sixty years? Will there be an economic depression? What about the climate apocalypse? Mass migration and poverty? (Civil) war, Ressource shortages? Cost of living/ rent?

What ifs: what if your child is born with a disability? Asperger's, ALS, blind, deaf, without limbs, trisomy, etc... Are you prepared to deal with a disabled child for the rest of your life? What if the child comes to hate you? Will you be able to teach the child self sufficiency and not cling to it? Are you prepared to let it go one day? What if you realize, once you have it, that you regret having had it? What if you come to resent it? What if it becomes a fuck up drug addict?

 

[Realist101]

Lol go fuck your self loser. You need to see a psychologist and STAT
J

just cuz your life was abusive doesn't mean my future child's life will be.

Shut up already please. I'm not going to waste my time arguing back and forth with such ignorance. You just have a bad outlook on children in general. Who says the kid will become suicidal or hate life ?? I am giving another human being with my DNA another chance at life and hoping he/she will have a better outcome than I did. You don't understand what I'm saying. It's a woman's duty to have a baby before she dies. To pass on her legacy and keep the family generation going, IF she believes she has good genes. I'm not saying she HAS to, but if she wants to then so be it. Now shut ur big mouth already! Thx.

Telling me to shut up while I am only trying to spread truth as respectfully as possible, is not going to help your situation or prove any of your points. Please just try to clear your head and relax.

I wasn't arguing, I'm just inviting you to be open minded and consider information that could allow you to learn and grow. Please... I invite you to open your mind, and to do your own research, and at least consider the things that I have said. I hope you can realize I was never arguing, and I hope you gain some knowledge from what I am telling you.

The only way that a child could ever suffer or die is due to birth, and birth is the only act that caused all suffering and death for all children and other beings. I care about children and don't want them to be in pain.

A family bloodline doesn't really have any meaning. Most people know nothing about thier great great grandparents.

The people on this site have parents who never expected their children to become suicidal, but we still all became suicidal somehow. Optimism blinds reasoning abilities, which leads to the births of suicidal people who join this site.

I'm always open to more replies if you want to clear your head, relax, and come back. But have a nice day for now :)

 

[nervousandanxious]

That's what she said (my mom)...

"I always told myself, my kids will one day have it better than me".

Funnily enough, she was married to an abusive man. Her mother said the exact same line (I asked her) and was also married to an abusive man, and her mother was also married to an abusive man. These men were all narcissistic alcoholics, their sons were all fuck ups and the daughters and granddaughters all married abusive men.

Why? Can you give any good reasons why you believe your child won't end up on this website? How are you going to shield them from that? Can you provide for them? Will you make sure you are not contemplating suicide anymore before having a child? Do you have enough monetary resources? Extended family to take care of them in case you kill yourself? These are the important questions, not whether you want to feel the baby kicking your stomach. Can you provide an excellent childhood for this person? Are you healthy? What do you think the world will look like in ten, twenty, thirty, sixty years? Will there be an economic depression? What about the climate apocalypse? Mass migration and poverty? (Civil) war, Ressource shortages? Cost of living/ rent?

What ifs: what if your child is born with a disability? Asperger's, ALS, blind, deaf, without limbs, trisomy, etc... Are you prepared to deal with a disabled child for the rest of your life? What if the child comes to hate you? Will you be able to teach the child self sufficiency and not cling to it? Are you prepared to let it go one day? What if you realize, once you have it, that you regret having had it? What if you come to resent it? What if it becomes a fuck up drug addict?

Ugh. You are just a full-on pessimist.I have plans to give the child away for an adoption if I am unhappy with the results. I want to experience pregnancy and feel the cute flutters of the baby kicking me from within! I have that right to reproduce so stop arguing with me. If the child is disabled, I'd still love him/her.The mother's love is unconditional, from what I've heard. I'd give them a good life so they don't become a "fuck-up". That's the fun of raising your own child. I can instill the morals & values I want the baby to have. Plus, if I end up loving him/her a lot, then it'll make me want to stick around and not end my life. This will help me a lot if I finally give in and get a guy to impregnate me. This urge has been occurring since I was 16. I'm now 24. I need to have a baby before I get too old. Time is ticking and the world might end soon due to corona virus!

also, the child would not be suicidal if I raise him right. Suicidal tendencies come from emotions. I wouldn't have to worry about that until they're in their teen years or later. I would hope he/she gets help if they are ever feeling that way. But I can always give the baby up for adoption to one of the many loving couples out there who want their own baby.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Ugh. You are just a full-on pessimist.I have plans to give the child away for an adoption if I am unhappy with the results. I want to experience pregnancy and feel the cute flutters of the baby kicking me from within! I have that right to reproduce so stop arguing with me. If the child is disabled, I'd still love him/her.The mother's love is unconditional, from what I've heard. I'd give them a good life so they don't become a "fuck-up". That's the fun of raising your own child. I can instill the morals & values I want the baby to have. Plus, if I end up loving him/her a lot, then it'll make me want to stick around and not end my life. This will help me a lot if I finally give in and get a guy to impregnate me. This urge has been occurring since I was 16. I'm now 24. I need to have a baby before I get too old. Time is ticking and the world might end soon due to corona virus!

You are either a troll or a psychopath ^^
.
Excellent trolling though, gotta give you that. Might even be an alt account of one of the contributers in this thread?

 

[nervousandanxious]

You are either a troll or a psychopath ^^
.
Excellent trolling though, gotta give you that. Might even be an alt account of one of the contributers in this thread?

I am not "trolling". I am a real person and can prove it. Read my previous reply. I edited it and added some stuff.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

I am not "trolling". I am a real person and can prove it. Read my previous reply. I edited it and added some stuff.

So option number two it is
.
Give away for adoption if "not satisfied with the results".

No person with normal intelligence and empathy or non-troll can say something like that.

 

[itsamadworld]

Ugh. You are just a full-on pessimist.I have plans to give the child away for an adoption if I am unhappy with the results. I want to experience pregnancy and feel the cute flutters of the baby kicking me from within! I have that right to reproduce so stop arguing with me. If the child is disabled, I'd still love him/her.The mother's love is unconditional, from what I've heard. I'd give them a good life so they don't become a "fuck-up". That's the fun of raising your own child. I can instill the morals & values I want the baby to have. Plus, if I end up loving him/her a lot, then it'll make me want to stick around and not end my life. This will help me a lot if I finally give in and get a guy to impregnate me. This urge has been occurring since I was 16. I'm now 24. I need to have a baby before I get too old. Time is ticking and the world might end soon due to corona virus!

also, the child would not be suicidal if I raise him right. Suicidal tendencies come from emotions. I wouldn't have to worry about that until they're in their teen years or later. I would hope he/she gets help if they are ever feeling that way. But I can always give the baby up for adoption to one of the many loving couples out there who want their own baby.

That's what she said (my mom)...

"I always told myself, my kids will one day have it better than me".

Funnily enough, she was married to an abusive man. Her mother said the exact same line (I asked her) and was also married to an abusive man, and her mother was also married to an abusive man. These men were all narcissistic alcoholics, their sons were all fuck ups and the daughters and granddaughters all married abusive men.

Why? Can you give any good reasons why you believe your child won't end up on this website? How are you going to shield them from that? Can you provide for them? Will you make sure you are not contemplating suicide anymore before having a child? Do you have enough monetary resources? Extended family to take care of them in case you kill yourself? These are the important questions, not whether you want to feel the baby kicking your stomach. Can you provide an excellent childhood for this person? Are you healthy? What do you think the world will look like in ten, twenty, thirty, sixty years? Will there be an economic depression? What about the climate apocalypse? Mass migration and poverty? (Civil) war, Ressource shortages? Cost of living/ rent?

What ifs: what if your child is born with a disability? Asperger's, ALS, blind, deaf, without limbs, trisomy, etc... Are you prepared to deal with a disabled child for the rest of your life? What if the child comes to hate you? Will you be able to teach the child self sufficiency and not cling to it? Are you prepared to let it go one day? What if you realize, once you have it, that you regret having had it? What if you come to resent it? What if it becomes a fuck up drug addict?

Good luck trying to reason with a self- focused person who wants someone to love her, or wants to expirience pregnancy for the two year hormone high. It will just be another innocent soul trapped by the greed-to-breed. Perhaps, She doesn't care if the child suffers. Perhaps, She just cares only about herself and her own needs! So what's our problems with that? We must be Crazy.... certainly not her! ...paah....

 

[nervousandanxious]

So option number two it is
.
Give away for adoption if "not satisfied with the results".

No person with normal intelligence and empathy or non-troll can say something like that.

Lol I mean adoption is always an option if I am unhappy with how the child turns out or if I can't handle raising a newborn. I am actually seeking an Italian man sperm donor. I have been planning to get knocked up for years so I can experience pregnancy. It'll make life worth living again ! :-)

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Haha you're baiting me I'm outta here. Nice work.

 

[itsamadworld]

Haha you're baiting me I'm outta here. Nice work.

I don't know if she's trolling. I've met cold hearted biz-ches like this in my day, this was like 1997- 99...you know before trolls you couldn't see...the internet was young then! .. I of know at least four single moms. I went to highschool with these people, and they all got baby fever and would say crap like this prior to acting on it....

 

[nervousandanxious]

Haha you're baiting me I'm outta here. Nice work.

Wow what a pathetic response. I left you speechless huh? I'm getting knocked up before I leave this earth, whether or not you like it kid. It's not my fault your parents weren't loving enough and it left a bad memory in your mind.