I really want to die

[lv-nii]

I HATE getting up every fucking day
I HATE having to go tell my problems to my fucking psychiatrist just to get some fucking pills that only make me worse than I already am.
I HATE making my friends feel uncomfortable when I try to tell them how I feel and how bad I am.
I HATE living
I HATE existing
what's my fucking purpose in this fucking shitty life
EVERYTHING has gone from bad to worse
I got rejected from a job interview that I waited for over 4 months for a fucking company to contact me.
MY BROTHER TREATS ME LIKE SHIT
my dad died...

sometimes I just want to end it all fast
no pain
no suffering
just get drunk, get too stoned, listen to some music, grab a gun and end it all.

 

[fallenforjune]

I understand - I feel this everyday. Friends want to listen but you can tell the topic of suicide is clearly uncomfortable for them and they just say some generic reassuring phrase. It's not their fault, people who haven't actively contemplated suicide can't really understand what that's like.

The job market is rough too - long interview processes with no guarantees at any stage.

I believe life is inherently meaningless, and our purpose is unique to us. I don't know what mine is either, and I'm tired of thinking about it. Constantly thinking about what it's like to just end it all too.

Hope things look up :)

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly understand it's so dreadful suffering in this cruel existence, I also just wish for no more pain. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[Davey40210]

Hope things will get better for you OP.. all the best.

 

[sadlittleman32]

I wish I never had to wake up in the first place( being born) and feel what you are feeling every moment of every day…we never asked to be here!

 

[singingcrow]

I feel you OP