Venting I really regret not jumping yesterday.

[SHThrowAway213]

I have been hating myself for it ever since I got home.
I was up there for 2 HOURS!
And I still couldn't do it...
I couldn't get drunk as I planned to as there was people up there and I thought it would look suspicious .
The only other method I could try is very selfish and most people here are rightfully against it, but it is literally my only other option.
I am going to try again on Thursday but I don't think I can wait.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I'm sorry you're in such pain. It breaks my heart to hear of other people's suffering, but I truly understand.

I'd like to ask, before you try the other method, what kept from jumping during those two hours? What went through your head? Can you talk us through your thought process? I ask because there's no guarantee that the same hesitation won't hinder you if you try the other method. Might be worth looking at the reasons you didn't jump to gain more insight.

 

[Trayus]

Finding the courage is really fucking hard. It sucks that you have to go through such lengths just to find some peace.

 

[TheQ22]

I'm sorry you're suffering so much, you sound like a nice person.

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm so sorry it didn't work out as you desired. You said jumping is the only option, but why not partial hanging?

 

[ThrownAwayTom]

I saw your thread the other day. You seem pretty cool and it sucks that you're hurting this bad. You and a couple others I keep reading is why I finally registered really.

I truly hope you find a way out ❤

 

[icantgoonlikethis02]

wish I could join you

 

[TripleA]

Whether it is possible to perform asphyxiation under the blanket?

 

[TheSkyIsBlue]

I'm sorry it happened to you. I was also angry at myself for failing my attempt in winter.

 

[TheSomebody]

You can still try again to jump another day...

wish I could join you

with someone on your side everything is easier to do. I wish I could join you too.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

I'm sorry you're in such pain. It breaks my heart to hear of other people's suffering, but I truly understand.

I'd like to ask, before you try the other method, what kept from jumping during those two hours? What went through your head? Can you talk us through your thought process? I ask because there's no guarantee that the same hesitation won't hinder you if you try the other method. Might be worth looking at the reasons you didn't jump to gain more insight.

The thought of the fall just putt me off.
And it was into water, not land and I really didn't want to drown.

I'm so sorry it didn't work out as you desired. You said jumping is the only option, but why not partial hanging?

I have tried partial hanging so many times and failed.
I also have no rope now and nowhere to do it.

 

[Sk1n1M1n]

Hey, can you tell us what has kept you from jumping. I wouldnt want you jump, is there someone you call or someone we could call for you. Perhaps you give us a bit of geography so we have an idea where you are,

 

[SHThrowAway213]

Hey, can you tell us what has kept you from jumping. I wouldnt want you jump, is there someone you call or someone we could call for you. Perhaps you give us a bit of geography so we have an idea where you are,

It was into water and I didn't want to drown.
There is nothing that can help me.
I'm in Devon, the cliff is 150 foot.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

It was into water and I didn't want to drown.
There is nothing that can help me.
I'm in Devon, the cliff is 150 foot.

Sorry for sounding potentially gruesome. My thought is that at 150 ft, the surface tension of the water combined with the velocity of the fall would either kill you or knock you unconscious on impact, especially if you went head first. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong here.

 

[TheQ22]

S

orry for sounding potentially gruesome. My thought is that at 150 ft, the surface tension of the water combined with the velocity of the fall would either kill you or knock you unconscious on impact, especially if you went head first. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong here.

I suspect you're right, it would be like hitting a solid surface.

 

[Soulless Angel]

It was into water and I didn't want to drown.
There is nothing that can help me.
I'm in Devon, the cliff is 150 foot.

We have spoken many a time on here, so many times you have said you wanted to but haven't, how are thing's at home can I ask, you have been on this forum for so long, you sound like you are stuck in a place with no way further down, and no way out :(

 

[purplesmoothie]

Whether it is possible to perform asphyxiation under the blanket?

How would this work? I am interested in this

Op my heart goes out to you I'm also really feeling trapped

 

[TripleA]

How would this work? I am interested in this

Op my heart goes out to you I'm also really feeling trapped

I dont know but instead exit bag can nitrogen asphyxiation be done under the blanket?

 

[purplesmoothie]

I dont know but instead exit bag can nitrogen asphyxiation be done under the blanket?

I don't know...

 

[SHThrowAway213]

We have spoken many a time on here, so many times you have said you wanted to but haven't, how are thing's at home can I ask, you have been on this forum for so long, you sound like you are stuck in a place with no way further down, and no way out :(

It feels pathetic.
I was on the subreddit for a couple of years until it got banned.
My first suicide attempt was 12.
I should of done it by now.

 

[Ghost2211]

I dont know but instead exit bag can nitrogen asphyxiation be done under the blanket?

Blankets let air through.

 

[purplesmoothie]

It feels pathetic.
I was on the subreddit for a couple of years until it got banned.
My first suicide attempt was 12.
I should of done it by now.

I was on the subreddit too you're not alone I have been actively suicidal most of that time

 

[Soulless Angel]

It feels pathetic.
I was on the subreddit for a couple of years until it got banned.
My first suicide attempt was 12.
I should of done it by now.

It may feel it, but it's not pathetic, you are stuck, there is nothing wrong with that.
I don't know many high places in Devon, I am not far from you. (depending which side of Devon!)
Do you have no help from professionals still? I know where I am, they just keep asking me what I want, when I say I don't know what help there is to ask for, I get brushed off and told i am not heping myself, which is a load of bullshit

 

[Ghost2211]

It feels pathetic.
I was on the subreddit for a couple of years until it got banned.
My first suicide attempt was 12.
I should of done it by now.

It's not pathetic. A lot of us are around a long time. It's hard being in a stuck place. I hope you're able to find the peace you need soon.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

It may feel it, but it's not pathetic, you are stuck, there is nothing wrong with that.
I don't know many high places in Devon, I am not far from you. (depending which side of Devon!)
Do you have no help from professionals still? I know where I am, they just keep asking me what I want, when I say I don't know what help there is to ask for, I get brushed off and told i am not heping myself, which is a load of bullshit

I know the 2 cliffs I have been to in the past, there's 2 articles on one and several for the same incident for the other one.
One is 150 feet and one is 200 feet.
And yes, still no help.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

So this was creepy.

Hey, can you tell us what has kept you from jumping. I wouldnt want you jump, is there someone you call or someone we could call for you. Perhaps you give us a bit of geography so we have an idea where you are,

And @SHThrowAway213 this was unwise you don't want irl good samaritan-types finding ways to interfere. Now if you post plans in advance, lurkers may be on alert and watch that area. You say you were just up there two hours -- if there is any kind of surveillance, you've just outed yourself and may be watched for. I'd gently suggest you ask mods to delete this thread.

It was into water and I didn't want to drown.
There is nothing that can help me.
I'm in Devon, the cliff is 150 foot.

 

[FlyMe2TheMoon]

I'm sorry your plans didn't work out as you had hoped. You're still very brave to have gone as far as you did, the survival instinct is a very strong thing and it's very difficult to overcome it.
Have you considered SN?

 

[SHThrowAway213]

I'm sorry your plans didn't work out as you had hoped. You're still very brave to have gone as far as you did, the survival instinct is a very strong thing and it's very difficult to overcome it.
Have you considered SN?

I have actually ordered SN before, but my husband found it and chucked it out back in January.
I can't order any now as I live with my parents, and I saw in a different post that now to get SN in the UK you have to prove your a company or something.

So this was creepy.



And @SHThrowAway213 this was unwise you don't want irl good samaritan-types finding ways to interfere. Now if you post plans in advance, lurkers may be on alert and watch that area. You say you were just up there two hours -- if there is any kind of surveillance, you've just outed yourself and may be watched for. I'd gently suggest you ask mods to delete this thread.

I appreciate your concern.
I get why this was unwise but I have put no identifying factors about myself, and there is no CCTV cameras up there.
I know I said I am trying again, but I'm not going back there.
The only factors that someone could identify me with is that I have a 2 year old Labrador called Bear, and that I live in Devon somewhere.

 

[checkouttime]

Why are you telling to them to reconsider their options, possibly putting them under more distress. why don't you leave them to make their own decisions, you don't know them or their circumstances and have no right to decide what they do or don't want to do.

were not here to encourage OR discourage

 

[Sk1n1M1n]

But I want to get a sense of what is is going on.