Venting I probably just ruined a relationship

[highjumping]

I texted a guy for a couple of days now, he said that he was in an open relationship and made some sexual comments towards me, clearly wanting something from me, he just called me telling me that his gf is mad and accused me of cheating, i feel terrible and this brought me closer to wanting to ctb soon, idk if it's my fault, i rlly hate myself so much. He is a good friend and i don't wanna loose him, i regret everything. No matter what i do every relationship somehow fails if love or friendship, i just wanna be gone.

 

[Roses_and_clouds]

I texted a guy for a couple of days now, he said that he was in an open relationship and made some sexual comments towards me, clearly wanting something from me, he just called me telling me that his gf is mad and accused me of cheating, i feel terrible and this brought me closer to wanting to ctb soon, idk if it's my fault, i rlly hate myself so much. He is a good friend and i don't wanna loose him, i regret everything. No matter what i do every relationship somehow fails if love or friendship, i just wanna be gone.

Why is this your fault again? The boy told you that he is in OPEN RELATIONSHIP, which basically means he fooled you. Then he tried to make you the bad guy by saying that "his girlfriend accused YOU".

You're the victim, not abuser. Don't let anyone to gaslight you.

Again, he is the one who cheated his girlfriend and manipulated you. Literally no one has right to accuse you, because again, he told you that he is in open relationship and HE made the sexual comments (it doesn't matter if you reciprocated or not)

Writing this again, don't blame yourself.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like it's the fault of the other person, it's better to avoid people in my opinion as humans can very easily just make existing worse with their cruelty and insensitivity, it's true that other people very often just create more suffering, you cannot trust and rely on them.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

I texted a guy for a couple of days now, he said that he was in an open relationship and made some sexual comments towards me, clearly wanting something from me, he just called me telling me that his gf is mad and accused me of cheating, i feel terrible and this brought me closer to wanting to ctb soon, idk if it's my fault, i rlly hate myself so much. He is a good friend and i don't wanna loose him, i regret everything. No matter what i do every relationship somehow fails if love or friendship, i just wanna be gone.

How is that cheating when it was him who made sexual comments towards you and not only that he is also the one who said he was in an open relationship??! Make it make sense, anyway after reading so many stories online be it relationships or friendships most of them are dysfunctional. I had "friends" who always bitch about their other "friends" to me and see them hugging the next meeting or smiling to each other (if I wanted to cause havoc to these great friendships I would).... and oh relationships I have had friends tell me a lot when it comes to their relationship issues, all that glitter you see on social media is not gold. Most relationships are not stable and it reminded when this girl once told me when I was in my 20s that everyone cheat nowadays G I couldn't help but laugh then but now all it makes sense so in the end you have to take of yourself and choose yourself because in the end no one will choose you but yourself. Good luck with everything.

It sounds like it's the fault of the other person, it's better to avoid people in my opinion as humans can very easily just make existing worse with their cruelty and insensitivity, it's true that other people very often just create more suffering, you cannot trust and rely on them.

I agree humans are always why 99% the reason why other humans wants to complete ctb…. I have watched a lot of documentaries on people who completed ctb and it always has to do with other humans. This quote resonates with me so much " forgive yourself for not knowing then what you know now. You weren't supposed to know, you were supposed to learn" I have had people swear love and all sorts of things for years to me and I'm not referring only to romantic relationships but to friendships as well and I came to realisation that those were nothing but mere words and empty promises and for that reason I want to cease to exist and I hope I will not be reincarnated and if that was the case I would only want to be around my heroes ( people who completes ctb like me ) … my dream would just to feel nothingness as it was before I was born.

 

[The anhedonic one]

How is that cheating when it was him who made sexual comments towards you and not only that he is also the one who said he was in an open relationship??! Make it make sense, anyway after reading so many stories online be it relationships or friendships most of them are dysfunctional. I had "friends" who always bitch about their other "friends" to me and see them hugging the next meeting or smiling to each other (if I wanted to cause havoc to these great friendships I would).... and oh relationships I have had friends tell me a lot when it comes to their relationship issues, all that glitter you see on social media is not gold. Most relationships are not stable and it reminded when this girl once told me when I was in my 20s that everyone cheat nowadays G I couldn't help but laugh then but now all it makes sense so in the end you have to take of yourself and choose yourself because in the end no one will choose you but yourself. Good luck with everything.

I agree humans are always why 99% the reason why other humans wants to complete ctb…. I have watched a lot of documentaries on people who completed ctb and it always has to do with other humans. This quote resonates with me so much " forgive yourself for not knowing then what you know now. You weren't supposed to know, you were supposed to learn" I have had people swear love and all sorts of things for years to me and I'm not referring only to romantic relationships but to friendships as well and I came to realisation that those were nothing but mere words and empty promises and for that reason I want to cease to exist and I hope I will not be reincarnated and if that was the case I would only want to be around my heroes ( people who completes ctb like me ) … my dream would just to feel nothingness as it was before I was born.

People are definitely the most major cause of human suffering.
Without my narcissistic mother and paedophile stepfather, I probably wouldn't be on this forum right now.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

People are definitely the most major cause of human suffering.
Without my narcissistic mother and paedophile stepfather, I probably wouldn't be on this forum right now.

What did you mother did to you for you to call her narcissistic??? And not only that what did good stepfather did ?? I know this can be quite a sensitive issue if you don't want to comment further I can understand.

 

[The anhedonic one]

What did you mother did to you for you to call her narcissistic??? And not only that what did good stepfather did ?? I know this can be quite a sensitive issue if you don't want to comment further I can understand.

My mother was an extremely violent, manipulative control freak. She greatly enjoyed to belittle me, humiliate me, and slap me around simply because she enjoyed it.
She had no feelings of compassion or guilt whatsoever.
She was an emotional sadist.
The stepfather would do certain things to me ( I cannot talk about this, even after all these years )
My insane mother would masturbate herself and laugh while the stepfather was doing things to me.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

My mother was an extremely violent, manipulative control freak. She greatly enjoyed to belittle me, humiliate me, and slap me around simply because she enjoyed it.
She had no feelings of compassion or guilt whatsoever.
She was an emotional sadist.
The stepfather would do certain things to me ( I cannot talk about this, even after all these years )
My insane mother would masturbate herself and laugh while the stepfather was doing things to me.

Sounds like a horror, I hope you heal from what you have gone through. I wish you peace and happiness with whatever decision you might take.

 

[highjumping]

Why is this your fault again? The boy told you that he is in OPEN RELATIONSHIP, which basically means he fooled you. Then he tried to make you the bad guy by saying that "his girlfriend accused YOU".

You're the victim, not abuser. Don't let anyone to gaslight you.

Again, he is the one who cheated his girlfriend and manipulated you. Literally no one has right to accuse you, because again, he told you that he is in open relationship and HE made the sexual comments (it doesn't matter if you reciprocated or not)

Writing this again, don't blame yourself.

thank you a lot, i rlly needed that

 

[The anhedonic one]

Sounds like a horror, I hope you heal from what you have gone through. I wish you peace and happiness with whatever decision you might take.

Thank you.

 

[highjumping]

How is that cheating when it was him who made sexual comments towards you and not only that he is also the one who said he was in an open relationship??! Make it make sense, anyway after reading so many stories online be it relationships or friendships most of them are dysfunctional. I had "friends" who always bitch about their other "friends" to me and see them hugging the next meeting or smiling to each other (if I wanted to cause havoc to these great friendships I would).... and oh relationships I have had friends tell me a lot when it comes to their relationship issues, all that glitter you see on social media is not gold. Most relationships are not stable and it reminded when this girl once told me when I was in my 20s that everyone cheat nowadays G I couldn't help but laugh then but now all it makes sense so in the end you have to take of yourself and choose yourself because in the end no one will choose you but yourself. Good luck with everything.

I agree humans are always why 99% the reason why other humans wants to complete ctb…. I have watched a lot of documentaries on people who completed ctb and it always has to do with other humans. This quote resonates with me so much " forgive yourself for not knowing then what you know now. You weren't supposed to know, you were supposed to learn" I have had people swear love and all sorts of things for years to me and I'm not referring only to romantic relationships but to friendships as well and I came to realisation that those were nothing but mere words and empty promises and for that reason I want to cease to exist and I hope I will not be reincarnated and if that was the case I would only want to be around my heroes ( people who completes ctb like me ) … my dream would just to feel nothingness as it was before I was born.

thank you, you make me feel less alone with all this
i always think i'm the problem bc of trauma and people exploit that a lot, being gone would be so much easier

My mother was an extremely violent, manipulative control freak. She greatly enjoyed to belittle me, humiliate me, and slap me around simply because she enjoyed it.
She had no feelings of compassion or guilt whatsoever.
She was an emotional sadist.
The stepfather would do certain things to me ( I cannot talk about this, even after all these years )
My insane mother would masturbate herself and laugh while the stepfather was doing things to me.

I'm so sorry for you, i myself have abusive parents and it is vile, you can never escape them, i wish you the best and i'm here when you want to talk

 

[The anhedonic one]

I texted a guy for a couple of days now, he said that he was in an open relationship and made some sexual comments towards me, clearly wanting something from me, he just called me telling me that his gf is mad and accused me of cheating, i feel terrible and this brought me closer to wanting to ctb soon, idk if it's my fault, i rlly hate myself so much. He is a good friend and i don't wanna loose him, i regret everything. No matter what i do every relationship somehow fails if love or friendship, i just wanna be gone.

It is definitely not your fault. And He is not a good friend, because good friends don't behave like that.
You deserve to be treated so much better than that.
I hope you can just move forward and away from this because the whole thing is toxic.
There is absolutely no point punishing yourself for someone else's selfish behaviour.
You are better than that.

 

[Brokensoulwalking]

I texted a guy for a couple of days now, he said that he was in an open relationship and made some sexual comments towards me, clearly wanting something from me, he just called me telling me that his gf is mad and accused me of cheating, i feel terrible and this brought me closer to wanting to ctb soon, idk if it's my fault, i rlly hate myself so much. He is a good friend and i don't wanna loose him, i regret everything. No matter what i do every relationship somehow fails if love or friendship, i just wanna be gone.

I'm sorry but this is really toxic. I've been in this situation so many times. I am only attracted to toxic ladies.

My advice is walk away, if he chases you he's a good friend. If he doesn't good riddance. People are only out for themselves I'm afraid and when you are selfless like it seems you are, it's difficult to understand why people do these things.

But you are not to blame here at all.

 

[highjumping]

I'm sorry but this is really toxic. I've been in this situation so many times. I am only attracted to toxic ladies.

My advice is walk away, if he chases you he's a good friend. If he doesn't good riddance. People are only out for themselves I'm afraid and when you are selfless like it seems you are, it's difficult to understand why people do these things.

But you are not to blame here at all.

thank you, i wish i didn't depend on the love of others so much

 

[Brokensoulwalking]

thank you, i wish i didn't depend on the love of others so much

This is also not your fault.

I have the same issue. My problem is I want to heal people when I can't heal myself. Just want a magic pill to fix me. Etc etc.

Unfortunately, I don't think we will find love until we learn to love ourselves and trust me it's shitty trying to love yourself.

I think people, bad people sniff out this insecurity and exploit it.

If you don't mind me asking how old are you? It's only to gauge your experience with people and love. So an age range would be fine. E.g I'm 31 and have promised myself to never be in love again.

 

[highjumping]

This is also not your fault.

I have the same issue. My problem is I want to heal people when I can't heal myself. Just want a magic pill to fix me. Etc etc.

Unfortunately, I don't think we will find love until we learn to love ourselves and trust me it's shitty trying to love yourself.

I think people, bad people sniff out this insecurity and exploit it.

If you don't mind me asking how old are you? It's only to gauge your experience with people and love. So an age range would be fine. E.g I'm 31 and have promised myself to never be in love again.

I'm 18 and i know this isn't nearly enough to have any experience but I've been abused by partners since I was a child and have lots of trauma bc of it. Apparently people really sniff us people out, I don't wanna be in love anymore, i've only been hurt over and over again.

I texted a guy for a couple of days now, he said that he was in an open relationship and made some sexual comments towards me, clearly wanting something from me, he just called me telling me that his gf is mad and accused me of cheating, i feel terrible and this brought me closer to wanting to ctb soon, idk if it's my fault, i rlly hate myself so much. He is a good friend and i don't wanna loose him, i regret everything. No matter what i do every relationship somehow fails if love or friendship, i just wanna be gone.

thank you guys so much for making me realize how wrong he was and making me feel less alone
nobody really understands my pain like all of you <3

 

[Roses_and_clouds]

I'm 18 and i know this isn't nearly enough to have any experience but I've been abused by partners since I was a child and have lots of trauma bc of it. Apparently people really sniff us people out, I don't wanna be in love anymore, i've only been hurt over and over again.

thank you guys so much for making me realize how wrong he was and making me feel less alone
nobody really understands my pain like all of you <3

You should really start valuing yourself. Don't let anyone exploit you, you deserve better I hope your traumas will leave you alone (I'm not fluent in English, so it can sound messy) and live your life as you wish without any obstacles

 

[Brokensoulwalking]

I'm 18 and i know this isn't nearly enough to have any experience but I've been abused by partners since I was a child and have lots of trauma bc of it. Apparently people really sniff us people out, I don't wanna be in love anymore, i've only been hurt over and over again.

thank you guys so much for making me realize how wrong he was and making me feel less alone
nobody really understands my pain like all of you

Age doesn't define pain by any means.

But yeah I was in a similar position at 18/19 and it's never got better for me.

You aren't alone in this, and these pains are as bad as any.

This says to me this guy isn't happy in his relationship but is afraid to be lonely. Don't waste your time on him he obviously doesn't have the backbone. He would have lied to his GF saying you were the one who initiated it...

 

[highjumping]

You should really start valuing yourself. Don't let anyone exploit you, you deserve better I hope your traumas will leave you alone (I'm not fluent in English, so it can sound messy) and live your life as you wish without any obstacles

thank you, i'm trying my best <33

Age doesn't define pain by any means.

But yeah I was in a similar position at 18/19 and it's never got better for me.

You aren't alone in this, and these pains are as bad as any.

This says to me this guy isn't happy in his relationship but is afraid to be lonely. Don't waste your time on him he obviously doesn't have the backbone. He would have lied to his GF saying you were the one who initiated it...

thank you for understanding me
i feel less alone in this mess now