I plan to kill myself when I turn 30

[FireFox]

I am going to kill myself when I reach 30 because as a woman my life will become less valuable when I reach 30 and I can't see myself having a future anymore. I have failed to have my life together at 24 and this is biggest reason why want to kill myself. I reached out nobody cared enough everyone said i will fine.

I will turn 24 on Thrusday and already my life is a failure. Everyone around me is successful and I am not. Seeing all my classmates having careers and partners I feel like a failure.We live in a culture in which achievements by people in their 20s are massively evlated by society. I see all the young people on times magazine, extinction rebellion protests, becoming reality tv etc I feel so inadequate.

I am never going to get a job, I will never find a man who will love me for me. No one ever going to hire a 24 year old who never worked. I have a law degree and voluntary work experience but employers don't care.

I dont know where I belong this world . I am absolutely disappointed in myself for failing to have my life together and having no massive achievements.
Suicide is the answer to all my problems and my escape from a world I don't belong in.
Everything is a mess in my life .

 

[Bat 17]

Things can get better. I didn't enjoy my 20s at all (well most of it). Why as a woman will your life be less valuable at 30?

Well done on getting a law degree that's not an easy subject. It's a tough working environment right now

I think you are hypothesising a lot of things will "never" happen and life might just surprise you. I always enjoy reading your posts

 

[StateOfMind]

I am absolutely disappointed in myself for failing to have my life together and having no massive achievements.
Suicide is the answer to all my problems and my escape from a world I don't belong in.
Everything is a mess in my life .

This resonates with me.
One of the biggest mistakes (I think), was trying to make it big.
If you are more strategic / realistic big things can come from lots of little achievements.

 

[oned1saster]

As a woman who will turn 30 very soon, I completely understand you. Socially speaking, our value is very attached to our age and what we're able to "conquer", as young as possible, especially being a woman. But you're still young though, there's still time. I'm sending you my positive vibes so you can get a good job, you're worth it!

 

[MyOwnWorstEnemy]

I am going to kill myself when I reach 30 because as a woman my life will become less valuable when I reach 30 and I can't see myself having a future anymore. I have failed to have my life together at 24 and this is biggest reason why want to kill myself. I reached out nobody cared enough everyone said i will fine.

I will turn 24 on Thrusday and already my life is a failure. Everyone around me is successful and I am not. Seeing all my classmates having careers and partners I feel like a failure.We live in a culture in which achievements by people in their 20s are massively evlated by society. I see all the young people on times magazine, extinction rebellion protests, becoming reality tv etc I feel so inadequate.

I am never going to get a job, I will never find a man who will love me for me. No one ever going to hire a 24 year old who never worked. I have a law degree and voluntary work experience but employers don't care.

I dont know where I belong this world . I am absolutely disappointed in myself for failing to have my life together and having no massive achievements.
Suicide is the answer to all my problems and my escape from a world I don't belong in.
Everything is a mess in my life .

Ok, life can be a challenge no matter your background but I think you are giving yourself an unnecessary hard time. Take a break from your expectations of yourself, stop comparing yourself to other people and find out who you are, once you've found that out and you can be happy with who you are other people will also begin to see that those other things you want have a better chance of happening.

I feel you've not given yourself a fair chance, setting an arbitrary age of 30 creates far too much pressure on you. Get out if you can, try to enjoy life and and spending time with others, do what and save such a final decision for a later day.

I wish you luck, love and happiness.

 

[xrafinha]

I've meet my girfriend when I was 30 and she was 31. We love eachother. My father is 56 and he just started to date a woman his age, and they get along and have fun toguether.

I don't think you define your value just by the number of your age, everyone will age. Just try to enjoy the little things life have to offer and don't pressure yourself like that.

Easier said them done, but just try to take it easy, 24 years old is very, very young.

 

[FuneralCry]

I can relate to your feelings, where I don't feel like I have a place in this world and that I feel like my life is pointless. I know how those types of feelings can destroy us inside. This world can be cruel and nobody deserves to suffer. I wish you the best no matter what you decide to do.

 

[WornOutLife]

Let's say I'm in your shoes as regards having a time limit.
In my case, I would like to ctb before my 40s! (33 right now).
Crazy fact: My life has improved a lot, especially in the economical part but damn, I dunno how longer I'll be able to keep this up.

 

[MyOwnWorstEnemy]

why not kill yourself now?

Insensitive, delete.

 

[noname223]

why not kill yourself now?

WTF

I am going to kill myself when I reach 30 because as a woman my life will become less valuable when I reach 30 and I can't see myself having a future anymore. I have failed to have my life together at 24 and this is biggest reason why want to kill myself. I reached out nobody cared enough everyone said i will fine.

I will turn 24 on Thrusday and already my life is a failure. Everyone around me is successful and I am not. Seeing all my classmates having careers and partners I feel like a failure.We live in a culture in which achievements by people in their 20s are massively evlated by society. I see all the young people on times magazine, extinction rebellion protests, becoming reality tv etc I feel so inadequate.

I am never going to get a job, I will never find a man who will love me for me. No one ever going to hire a 24 year old who never worked. I have a law degree and voluntary work experience but employers don't care.

I dont know where I belong this world . I am absolutely disappointed in myself for failing to have my life together and having no massive achievements.
Suicide is the answer to all my problems and my escape from a world I don't belong in.
Everything is a mess in my life .

I can really feel you. Poverty scares the shit out of me. Don't know if I can keep up to my 30. I do not have a future, job, relationship and my health is horrible.
Especially if I compare myself to former classmates it hurts. Damn. I try to avoid most of them as good as possible. I feel ashamed about everything.

 

[Desi]

I have a law degree, too. That's as far as i pushed my "social personae" to behave until the dark side took over,

 

[FireFox]

Let's say I'm in your shoes as regards having a time limit.
In my case, I would like to ctb before my 40s! (33 right now).
Crazy fact: My life has improved a lot, especially in the economical part but damn, I dunno how longer I'll be able to keep this up.

Hey Matt

It is comforting knowing someone knows what it feels like.

You look so young for 33 in your pictures? I am serious . I even thought you was 27/28 I when first saw your one of the pictures you uploaded on one of your threads.
You are a very handsome and lovely man.

That is wonderful to hear your life as improved in what way has it improved.
I hope and pray thing good things keep happening to you.
Take one day at a time that is what i am trying to do.
Next week I will allowed to vist museums, theatres , meet indoors, again because government is opening up the country again from lockdown.
I will go out and enjoy my life because I have a strong feeling the UK will have a 4th lockdown in Autumn
What are the lockdown rules like in your country?
I reccomend if your country starts or already has relaxed lockdown rules then I recommend going outside and having fun.

 

[WornOutLife]

Hey Matt

It is comforting knowing someone knows what it feels like.

You look so young for 33 in your pictures? I am serious . I even thought you was 27/28 I when first saw your one of the pictures you uploaded on one of your threads.
You are a very handsome and lovely man.

That is wonderful to hear your life as improved in what way has it improved.
I hope and pray thing good things keep happening to you.
Take one day at a time that is what i am trying to do.
Next week I will allowed to vist museums, theatres , meet indoors, again because government is opening up the country again from lockdown.
I will go out and enjoy my life because I have a strong feeling the UK will have a 4th lockdown in Autumn
What are the lockdown rules like in your country?
I reccomend if your country starts or already has relaxed lockdown rules then I recommend going outside and having fun.

Awww you're so lovely! Thank u very much for your words! I'm usually told I look a bit younger and that really makes me feel better!

As for the lockdown, it's quite flexible here. Nobody is supposed to be on the streets after 8pm but they don't give a damn and go out anyway lol

I always like reading you and I would really like to help you in any way I can. This goddamn world needs more people like you!

 

[FireFox]

Things can get better. I didn't enjoy my 20s at all (well most of it). Why as a woman will your life be less valuable at 30?

Well done on getting a law degree that's not an easy subject. It's a tough working environment right now

I think you are hypothesising a lot of things will "never" happen and life might just surprise you. I always enjoy reading your posts

Album Dumbledore
Thanks it nice to hear you enjoy reading my posts. My posts are my real feelings about I view the world and above all myself. I cant share my true feelings with anyone else.

I worry the older I get men will find me less attractive and will no longer be interested in me. Men like younger women in general. I fear my dating pool is getting smaller and smaller. I am worrying even more I didn't meet a man at university. I can confidently tell a guy he is a cute and show am interest in his life however guys never do the same for me.

At school I was never the pretty and popular girl at school the boys wanted and liked. I was the girl at school who was bullied , didn't fit in and got in to a lot arguments and fighting. The boys I liked at school always rejected me .

People lose their virginity in their teenage years. When i saw the girls in my class having boyfriends and going to places with their boyfriends they looked so grown up and their lives more Interesting.

In adulthood I still feel people in relationships have interesting lives because they to can do fun things with their partner.

Being single is just reminder of how I never was the pretty girl at school , a reminder of the rejection from men and just feeling like an outsider amoung people in ny age group.
Being a virgin at my age is also reminder of how immature I am .

This resonates with me.
One of the biggest mistakes (I think), was trying to make it big.
If you are more strategic / realistic big things can come from lots of little achievements.

Ok, life can be a challenge no matter your background but I think you are giving yourself an unnecessary hard time. Take a break from your expectations of yourself, stop comparing yourself to other people and find out who you are, once you've found that out and you can be happy with who you are other people will also begin to see that those other things you want have a better chance of happening.

I feel you've not given yourself a fair chance, setting an arbitrary age of 30 creates far too much pressure on you. Get out if you can, try to enjoy life and and spending time with others, do what and save such a final decision for a later day.

I wish you luck, love and happiness.

StateOffMind
This beautifully written message and thank you.

My birthday is on Thrusday. The closer my birthday approaches I feel no joy and all I feel is disappointment about how my life turned out to be.
I am just disappointed in myself because when I was at school and university I had all these dreams and ideas on what I would do with my life when I reach adulthood. I wanted to have happy, exciting and meaningful life. I wanted a career in making the world better place , i wanted to travel, be independent, living in a different city and just enjoying life.

I was always thought when I reach my 20s I will be living on my own, having a stable job , adventure and a man who loved me for me .

My family enjoy having me at home and say I should not rush.

They don't understand I want a life of my own. I love adventure and exploring this what makes me different from my family. My family dont understand me at all or real nature.

I am disappointed that i went from someone who had so many ideas and a vision of the future to becoming a confused individual who has no future. I am disappointed I have not done anything big with my life.

I dont know even who I am anymore

 

[Conker]

I am going to kill myself when I reach 30 because as a woman my life will become less valuable when I reach 30 and I can't see myself having a future anymore. I have failed to have my life together at 24 and this is biggest reason why want to kill myself. I reached out nobody cared enough everyone said i will fine.

I will turn 24 on Thrusday and already my life is a failure. Everyone around me is successful and I am not. Seeing all my classmates having careers and partners I feel like a failure.We live in a culture in which achievements by people in their 20s are massively evlated by society. I see all the young people on times magazine, extinction rebellion protests, becoming reality tv etc I feel so inadequate.

I am never going to get a job, I will never find a man who will love me for me. No one ever going to hire a 24 year old who never worked. I have a law degree and voluntary work experience but employers don't care.

I dont know where I belong this world . I am absolutely disappointed in myself for failing to have my life together and having no massive achievements.
Suicide is the answer to all my problems and my escape from a world I don't belong in.
Everything is a mess in my life .

Those protests were all shallow and done in vain.

 

[Bat 17]

@FireFox there are so many beautiful women who were not considered the attractive ones at school or even university, and got into fights and stuff.

You are being very hard on yourself. I understand because I was similar although I lost my virginity at 18 I didn't have a proper relationship until 24/25 and I felt like a failure and I felt like everyone else was living like an exciting adult and I was immature. It was horrible.

But things can turn around very, very quickly. 24 is so young. When that first relationship comes, and it will, you will 'catch up' very quickly. Women don't usually start really worrying about the shrinking dating pool until late 30s early 40s and that is more to do with wanting children than not being able to find a partner. 30 is way too early to set the deadline !

You've clearly got lots of ideals that you would like for yourself and that comes across as exciting. Now you can start planning. What do you want to achieve this year? Don't say to yourself that it's impossible and you've already failed. You can completely reinvent your life if you want and that will give you confidence.

I should add that, at 45, I am of an age where I am considered invisible to women. Think of that ! I am literally invisible to women! I've tried not to get down about it and think of myself as some kind of superhero instead, like one of the X-men. But what I'd give to be 24 again!

My best wishes for a happy birthday.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Yes there does seem to be some ageism that you face after reaching a certain age, and it is horrible when this makes you feel worthless about yourself. I can understand where you are coming from, because when I see people younger than me and it hurts for some reason.

Having said that: there is no law or requirement that you "have" to hit certain milestones at a certain age - especially if you do not want to. The idea that you must be successful, be married and own a house before, say, 30? Well that is an arbitrary standard created by society.