I plan to die young

[hopelesscallgirl]

This world is so broken and in the short few years that I've been an adult I've learned that everything is so unpredictible. Nothing ever goes according to plan and I always end up in some sort of stressful pain filled experience. I'm tired of always fighting in hope that something better will come when it never seems to get better, or it will and some other type of crisis will arise. I'm 24 and I can't imagine what hell I would go through in another 40-70 years of life. I can't see myself becoming older and aging, I can't even see myself living past the age of 30. I've already had 5 attempts within the last 3 years and every time I get closer and closer to completing. I figure that I am just going to live my craziest life and enjoy as many crazy moments as I can for the short amount of time that I have left. My life is crazy like a movie anyway, I might as well embrace it.

Most of my friends think I'm this happy positive person when in reality deep down inside I am in so much pain. The people who seem the most positive and happy can be the ones suffering the most. I can't talk to anyone including mental health proffessionals as I know that I'll just get thrown in a hospital where they don't really do anything but traumatize me more. I have gone through so much over the last 7 years and the painful experiences never seem to end. I have a few ideas on how my life is going to end, both ideas involve poison. I may just be the girl who just drops dead one day and no one will know what happened. Perhaps I will travel to the beautiful mountain town where I grew up and hike up to a spot with a nice view of the mountains and forest and stare at the beautiful scenery and listen to calming music as I slowly fade to black. I just want my suffering to end.

 

[Versailles]

I quite identify with this, life can be full of difficulties, hopelessness and things that I would prefer to avoid, I can't imagine having to deal with the same thing in the coming decades, I feel like I've fallen into a strange loop where everything takes turns repetitive and tasteless
By the way, I see that you are new here, I welcome you to the site, I send you hugs!

 

[Hans Voralberg]

I feel you unpredictibility of life is the worst part of it you can chase your dreams but in the end one random person like lazy teacher can nearly destroy everything. Constant fear is immanent part of life. We are trapped in the past. Disconnected with the present and too afraid of future to move on.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering so much. This life can be so tiring and depressing and I know that it is hard to carry on when everything is hopeless. I also like the sound of ctb somewhere with a forest view. I would like to just peacefully pass away. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Superdeterminist]

This world is so broken and in the short few years that I've been an adult I've learned that everything is so unpredictible. Nothing ever goes according to plan and I always end up in some sort of stressful pain filled experience.

This so much. I think we are just smart enough to have figured out that the universe is really and truly unpredictable. I mean this seriously: this idea has mathematical support. And whilst an unpredictable life makes for some excitement, it also means you can get some nasty surprises from nowhere. It's a double-edged sword and the darker edge can cut very, very deep.

 

[hopelesscallgirl]

I quite identify with this, life can be full of difficulties, hopelessness and things that I would prefer to avoid, I can't imagine having to deal with the same thing in the coming decades, I feel like I've fallen into a strange loop where everything takes turns repetitive and tasteless
By the way, I see that you are new here, I welcome you to the site, I send you hugs!

Thank you so much, I'm glad I've found a place were I can talk about this without the fear of being involuntarily locked up.

I feel you unpredictibility of life is the worst part of it you can chase your dreams but in the end one random person like lazy teacher can nearly destroy everything. Constant fear is immanent part of life. We are trapped in the past. Disconnected with the present and too afraid of future to move on.

That is so true, you could be doing so great in life, and the smallest thing can destroy a lifetime of hard work and achievements. The world is so cruel to everyone, you can be born to an extremely disadvantaged circumstance and the world will just stomp you to death. Most people in this world either don't care about why someones in a situation or are very ill informed and don't care to learn and understand.

 

[olkf]

living is a scam

 

[Versailles]

living is a scam

Great! Now I have to ask for my refund.

 

[TheBroken]

Couldn't have said any of this better ......

 

[Al Cappella]

Great! Now I have to ask for my refund.

Existence is like software—once you download & install there are no refunds. Sorry for the inconvenience…

 

[joshua123]

What's the point in living - when we're going to die anyway? May aswell just not prolong the suffering and pain

 

[Live Free or Die]

My life is crazy like a movie anyway, I might as well embrace it.

 

[rotten]

I agree. I haven't been an adult for long either and already there's pain lingering behind every corner. Everyone just expects you to be happy and successful, but that's not always realistic.