
spectraltease
When everything is lost everything is found
- Sep 23, 2022
- 317
I no longer have any motivation to live. Actually, I wanted to kill myself this January, but important people hold me in my life. I should be dead in 2 weeks but I can't do it but I want it so much. I don't enjoy anything anymore, everything just annoys me or is so energy-consuming. My life never gets better and I would rather kill myself than get better. I just don't want to exist anymore. Every day is boring, I hate almost all people and myself. I can't smile and if I'm happy for a second, the joy is gone again in the next second, but it's really like that. I feel so empty and my heart is broken. It feels like weight is on my chest and my chest get crushed by this weight. But I like being here and I feel comfortable here, arround the other ppl. Often I smile when im reading the heart warming texts of other users. Thank you for this.