Im a 21 year old girl.. i have abusive parents, an abusive father who destroyed me mentally by all means and made me a non stable person who cannot maintain any kind of relationships whether love wise or friendship wise.. totally friendless and suffer from several mental diseases one of them is body dysmorphia which makes me extremely non confident and hate what i see in the mirror this cannot go on dates.. I hate myself, how i look, don’t have parents, family, friends, lover... i’m in the wrong major that i HATE so much.. so i’m here because i felt like the people in here will be completely honest and rational concerning these kind of decisions.. is there any reason why i should go on with this miserable life? Or should i just CTB like i’ve always wanter ever since i was a kid?
In complete honesty, it's a decision only you can make. We're here for you no matter what you choose though <3
demuic
Life was a mistake
- Sep 12, 2020
- 1,379
We cannot encourage you on what choice to make, only you can make that decision. I'm sorry you're experiencing such pain in life.
I agree with the comments above. It's your own decision.
Most of us are suffering from different traumas and diseases. Some hang on days, months years whereas some others can't go on and just CTB.
Wish you the best with whatever decision you make and I'm sorry you're suffering so much!
Most of us are suffering from different traumas and diseases. Some hang on days, months years whereas some others can't go on and just CTB.
Wish you the best with whatever decision you make and I'm sorry you're suffering so much!
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fixitinpost
Arriving Somewhere But Not Here
- Oct 20, 2020
- 161
Throwmyselfaway
Not gone yet but soon
- Jan 14, 2020
- 798
Nymph
he/him
- Jul 15, 2020
- 2,522
We can’t make this decision for you, it’s just up to you.
Sensei
剣道家
- Nov 4, 2019
- 6,337
We can't make the decision for you but we can discuss your situation. Do you think any of your problems are fixable? For instance, do you think you can overcome your trauma and social problems over time with the help of psychotherapy? If the answer is yes I definitely think you should keep on fighting.
drwt
Member
- Dec 1, 2020
- 59
You can heal from a lot of trauma with the right help. Therapy is a must but what's the most important is getting out of the abusive environment you're living in. You're still young and I know how it feels to have body dysmorphia - but life can get better.
It's difficult finding people who put up with mentally unstable people and support them but they exist (I know that because I'm one of them lol).
If you truly believe there is no chance to ever meet anyone like that or for anything to get better, end your suffering.
But sometimes life can change and by random chance you get to know someone kind who'll help you and everything suddenly slowly gets better.
I hope you don't give up
It's difficult finding people who put up with mentally unstable people and support them but they exist (I know that because I'm one of them lol).
If you truly believe there is no chance to ever meet anyone like that or for anything to get better, end your suffering.
But sometimes life can change and by random chance you get to know someone kind who'll help you and everything suddenly slowly gets better.
I hope you don't give up
We can’t make that choice for you. Only you live your life so only you can choose if it’s worth living. We are supportive and pro choice. Perhaps spending more time with us will help you sort things out.
By coming here you have done the best thing you can right now IMO, no-one will judge you in anyway, all of us here just want the same thing, our suffering to end, we are here to listen
LooksAtMoonDog
Too Long in the Wasteland
- Nov 10, 2020
- 718
THIS, so much this!
Like everyone else has said we can't make decisions about your life for you. But this place can be a resource/sanctuary where people won't judge you and may even have experiences that could help you deal with your situation.
People on this site may have their own problems, but they are some of the most caring I've encountered in the jungle that is the internet.
The bus will still be there as an option. Take all of the time you need for yourself.
Many people have overcome things from their past and current situations, even really bad things that no one should ever have to experience, and they find reasons to want to live and stay alive.
Take all of the time you need if you are not totally sure about CTB right now, is probably the best thing to keep in mind.
Many people have overcome things from their past and current situations, even really bad things that no one should ever have to experience, and they find reasons to want to live and stay alive.
Take all of the time you need if you are not totally sure about CTB right now, is probably the best thing to keep in mind.
May your abusive father step on legos, stub his toe on furniture, have erectile dysfunction, and have cats urinate on him, then denied death when he's terminally ill. I'm sorry you're here, but stay with us a bit longer and over time you will be able to make the decision yourself when the time comes. No one can tell you if you should do it because situations can change, attitudes can be changed over time, and emotions can be healed.
LenkaX
Maybe there is a hope!
- Aug 14, 2020
- 366
The nice thing about CTB is that it can be always postponed.
Some times I really thought that it's my final day, but I always reconsidered it.
I've been struggling a lot since my childhood, but since 2004 it has been a true nightmare sometimes. I take psych drugs since 2004 as well and they don't make things any better. -- But I'm still here, the last few days I feel somewhat better. During my better days I'm somewhat glad that I didn't CTB yet.
Some times I really thought that it's my final day, but I always reconsidered it.
I've been struggling a lot since my childhood, but since 2004 it has been a true nightmare sometimes. I take psych drugs since 2004 as well and they don't make things any better. -- But I'm still here, the last few days I feel somewhat better. During my better days I'm somewhat glad that I didn't CTB yet.
I had body dysmorphia when I was young. I'm not sure I grew out of it as such, but I came to accept it more and it hardly bothers me anymore. I have no experience of abuse, but I hope you will maybe take some time and think about things.
I think this community will be here for you. It was for me and changed me in some profound ways. Time may change things... it may not, but it may.
End of the day... your choice how you proceed with your own life. Life is full of possibilities, both good and bad, whilst death closes every door, forever.
I think this community will be here for you. It was for me and changed me in some profound ways. Time may change things... it may not, but it may.
End of the day... your choice how you proceed with your own life. Life is full of possibilities, both good and bad, whilst death closes every door, forever.
I am an autistic man that also thought I was the ugliest person alive. No one would ever like me. Things have gotten a little better for me. I never expected that.
The same could happen to you. You're only 21. You still have so many options to fix your problems. So much time.
The same could happen to you. You're only 21. You still have so many options to fix your problems. So much time.
0utsider
Loner with no future ~
- Dec 9, 2020
- 35
I'm not gonna encourage you to do it, nor am I gonna tell you that life is worth living.
If you are having trouble making the decision, stand at the edge and look down. If you hesitate, then you probably value something in your life that would make you regret dying. Stick around for a while longer, think about and sort out whatever it is that stopped you. Repeat until you want to live, or you take the leap.
If you are having trouble making the decision, stand at the edge and look down. If you hesitate, then you probably value something in your life that would make you regret dying. Stick around for a while longer, think about and sort out whatever it is that stopped you. Repeat until you want to live, or you take the leap.
LigottiFan19
Member
- Nov 21, 2020
- 20
Due to your age, and lack of objective experience of the world beyond your parents, i would strongly suggest postponing such an irreversible decision until you're able to to remove yourself from the crisis and determine whether or not you can make a place for yourself.
You need to find a way to change your major.
You need to escape your parents.
You need to find a good therapist to help you untangle your mental quagmire.
When these are resolved, then would be a better time to evaluate.
❤
You need to find a way to change your major.
You need to escape your parents.
You need to find a good therapist to help you untangle your mental quagmire.
When these are resolved, then would be a better time to evaluate.
❤
I am really glad to hear things have unexpectedly got a little better for you. That is great news!
Thanks for sharing part of your experience.