I have wanted to ctb for a long time now but I keep pushing it off. I read something on here yesterday which was very insightful; it said, "maybe always looking for a method or a peaceful one, is SI manifesting itself secretly". I agree completely and I sm stupid for not seeing that. I need you go for so many reasons and I pray I have what it takes to succeed. I plan on jumping off a high cliff neat me. People have successfully died there before with only one failed attempt. But even then, the guy landed in a tree and was able to walk out fine. I know thus is a scary method snd hard to overcome the SI but my gun was taken from me when I was 302d, I cannot get SN or N. I tried shallow water blackout multiple times but as much as I researched and hyperventilated over and over, I cannot even start to feel like I want to pass out when I hold my breath. I pray so hard I will be successful. I hate every single second I am awake. I hate life. I'm scared of what is to come and I hope it is just nothingness but I fo not wsnt to be here anymore.
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jodes2
Hello people ❤️
- Aug 28, 2022
- 7,736
I'm sorry you're suffering. I have a source for SN if that helps, but I wish you luck overcoming your SI to jump. Sorry it's come to this 
nopride86
Student
- Mar 16, 2022
- 135
I hope you find peace, however you decide to go. The desperation to leave this world can be so strong and it's frustrating that we have to go to scary and dangerous lengths to achieve it.
If you get to the location and end up deciding against it (perhaps there's people around, or the conditions aren't right, or you feel something off) then that is okay! It will always be there. But you deserve to do what only you know is best and necessary.
There are no cliffs or tall buildings near me, but lately jumping seems like a better chance than jumping through hoops for other methods.
If you get to the location and end up deciding against it (perhaps there's people around, or the conditions aren't right, or you feel something off) then that is okay! It will always be there. But you deserve to do what only you know is best and necessary.
There are no cliffs or tall buildings near me, but lately jumping seems like a better chance than jumping through hoops for other methods.
Would I be able to get that from you? I don't know how to pm you thoughI'm sorry you're suffering. I have a source for SN if that helps, but I wish you luck overcoming your SI to jump. Sorry it's come to this
jodes2
Hello people ❤️
- Aug 28, 2022
- 7,736
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,768
Having to exist really is a terrible thing and your feelings of wishing to be gone from this world are understandable, I very strongly believe that when we die we just cease to exist and there is nothing for all eternity. This is why the thought of death brings me comfort, and it's so awful how we live in a world that denies us the option of more desirable and straightforward methods. Jumping sounds like a terrifying method to me but I hope that you find the freedom that you are looking for.
Altvtysp
Member
- Nov 5, 2022
- 96
Wanting a pain free way to die is a form of SI. We are currently experiencing extreme pain just by existing so we should be able to tolerate a little more of it to finally be free. I'm such a coward and extremely disappointed in myself. Not even about my past or anything but just not being willing to do anything to achieve CTB
Pentobarbital_Plz
STOP HAVING KIDS!!!
- Oct 28, 2022
- 275
My pms are, uh, also open :D
