I need to CTB but I have a baby CONTINUATION

[botanist_dude]

I absolutely didn't expect all the response I got. Thanks everyone who used their time to interact with me. After reading all your comments, I want to say the following

1. First, I didn't have my baby after all the problems started. I was in a happy place doing good money, but life happened: my salary was cut, I lost one job, my car gave up, my fridge gave up, my dog got sick... if I mentioned everything you wouldn't believe me. So while I thank everyone, please stop assuming I'm so irresponsible I just had a baby while having issues. That wasn't the case. Besides, my baby was conceived way earlier two years ago, things were WAY different back then. I'm saying this for future posts, please STOP pointing fingers at the tragedy of others you don't understand.
2. Almost everyone agreed on one thing: a struggling father is better than no father at all. And well, it seems you are right on that regard. I'll keep trying (I really don't understand, but well, if mountains of evidence are on your side, there's nothing for me to discuss against it)
3. Also, I learned that leaving the responsibility to my boy's mother is basically a gigantic d*ck move. I still struggle to see that. I just really think I'm just a hindrance to my family and that literally any guy she picks up will be able to do a better job. But well, that's what your brain sometimes do.. it just convinces you on stuff that might not be the case

So... yeah, thanks everyone. I hope this and the previous post (found here https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-need-to-ctb-but-i-have-a-baby.163047/) can help someone. For the time being, I'll just deal with everything and will try to not CTB. My father still worries me, but I'll try my best to keep him healthy.

 

[Aergia]

Wishing you fortitude

 

[willitpass]

I'm sorry that your mind is so hard on you. I know how impossible it can be to see beyond your own thoughts. I also am sorry people were blaming you for having a child, that's always something that has upset me here. I'm glad you're sticking around for your family even if you can see why right now. I know it's unfair to you to continue suffering, but it is much more unfair to abandon your child and wife. Your child needs you. I hope you're able to find peace and overcome your thoughts. I'm sure you're a wonderful father, well beyond what you can currently see in yourself.

 

[botanist_dude]

Wishing you fortitude

Thank you very much

I'm sorry that your mind is so hard on you. I know how impossible it can be to see beyond your own thoughts. I also am sorry people were blaming you for having a child, that's always something that has upset me here. I'm glad you're sticking around for your family even if you can see why right now. I know it's unfair to you to continue suffering, but it is much more unfair to abandon your child and wife. Your child needs you. I hope you're able to find peace and overcome your thoughts. I'm sure you're a wonderful father, well beyond what you can currently see in yourself.

Thanks man, I actually saw you sticking up for me and I didn't say thanks, but I say it now. You have very kind words and I really appreciate that
I was actually quite enraged at those comments, but I didn't say anything because most people were really pollite, so I thought to just keep the peace. And yes, my baby is just an innocent human being who needs all the support he can get, and I won't let him down on that.