F
fallentopieces
Member
- Jan 18, 2019
- 5
New user here but longtime lurker. There's currently a thread from a few days ago asking the same thing but my question is slightly different.
I'm a female from the UK, if that means anything.
I feel at my lowest point right now. On the verge of seriously harming myself or doing something I'll regret. For the past few days I've been running out in front of cars trying to get hit (which is hideously selfish). But deep down I'm not ready to ctb yet. I don't think I'm safe by myself
I want to be in hospital because I know I won't do anything there BUT my problem is that I refuse to go to A+E for a mental health crisis. Have done this in the past and have been in a+e for a suicide attempt last year. The staff treat me horribly, are rude and dismissive, or speak to me like I'm a child that's fallen over and hurt my knee or something. Just two extremes that make me feel worse than I did before I went in.
I've been in the same hospital for a bad chest infection and the staff on that occasion were far more pleasant.
I want to be in hospital so I don't make a mistake but at the same time I just can't bring myself to go in for suicidal thoughts.
I was thinking of throwing myself down the stairs and hitting my head, but I just can't let myself fall due to instinct when I go to try and throw myself down.
I can't think of anything else that might result in an admission. Giving myself food poisoning would take too long to set in and isn't necessarily a guaranteed trip to hospital. Just wondered if anyone had any ideas. I know it's fucked up.
Please let me know if I'm posting in the wrong place, btw.
I'm a female from the UK, if that means anything.
I feel at my lowest point right now. On the verge of seriously harming myself or doing something I'll regret. For the past few days I've been running out in front of cars trying to get hit (which is hideously selfish). But deep down I'm not ready to ctb yet. I don't think I'm safe by myself
I want to be in hospital because I know I won't do anything there BUT my problem is that I refuse to go to A+E for a mental health crisis. Have done this in the past and have been in a+e for a suicide attempt last year. The staff treat me horribly, are rude and dismissive, or speak to me like I'm a child that's fallen over and hurt my knee or something. Just two extremes that make me feel worse than I did before I went in.
I've been in the same hospital for a bad chest infection and the staff on that occasion were far more pleasant.
I want to be in hospital so I don't make a mistake but at the same time I just can't bring myself to go in for suicidal thoughts.
I was thinking of throwing myself down the stairs and hitting my head, but I just can't let myself fall due to instinct when I go to try and throw myself down.
I can't think of anything else that might result in an admission. Giving myself food poisoning would take too long to set in and isn't necessarily a guaranteed trip to hospital. Just wondered if anyone had any ideas. I know it's fucked up.
Please let me know if I'm posting in the wrong place, btw.