Discussion I need opinions about my brother’s text

[prbreese01]

I'd really like some opinions on some messages that my brother sent me. Could you tell me what you think and feel when you read his response?…I've been trying to get to the root of my depression because medication hasn't worked. So I reached out to my brother and texted him a question just to get a little history. My text is in green and his response is in white…Just for some background info, my brother and I don't really speak to one another. He's been very busy with his job and kids so he doesn't have time.

 

[mlha]

I agree that you probably won't find an aha moment, but that's probably it. Especially the comparison who has worse bad days is just cop out from an insightful conversation.

 

[NumbItAll]

aggravating, dismissive, lacking in empathy, and completely unhelpful

 

[netrezven]

honetly i wish if i ask the same - the answer will be the same, in reality i won't get that. The response of you brother look like a response from someone who knows stuff about life and someone who cares. When there is no obvious reason for depression it's most common to be a chemical disbalance. At leasts that's my case. So trying new things, making changes, even if it's hard, is something to be done for real, no matter how hard it looks or get. You brother might not speak often to you, but honestly i think he cares about you, and most imporatnly he knows what to say in order to give that help. Sadly depression is something a person should take care by himself, others can't just wash it out. Also i don't think that looking into the past and specifically finding someone to blame is going to fix anything. The only real cure for life is said on Johny walker - "keep walking", it's not easy to do, but it's the real recipe.
If i'm wrong and your brother's response is just response, without emphaty and understanding, than i do have a big problem with relatives. Again that response is something i can only dream about if i needed to ask for help.

 

[prbreese01]

aggravating, dismissive, lacking in empathy, and completely unhelpful

That's how I received his message and it was really upsetting to me. I asked him a particular question in hopes that he could give me insight into our childhood. I was very triggered by his message because it just shows how disconnected my family is.

I agree that you probably won't find an aha moment, but that's probably it. Especially the comparison who has worse bad days is just cop out from an insightful conversation.

I actually think I found the aha moment but honestly, after reading his response I question why should I try getting better? My brother's response just made me feel like I was correct in thinking that I'm all alone in this world. I was looking for a conversation and not a lecture from him.

honetly i wish if i ask the same - the answer will be the same, in reality i won't get that. The response of you brother look like a response from someone who knows stuff about life and someone who cares. When there is no obvious reason for depression it's most common to be a chemical disbalance. At leasts that's my case. So trying new things, making changes, even if it's hard, is something to be done for real, no matter how hard it looks or get. You brother might not speak often to you, but honestly i think he cares about you, and most imporatnly he knows what to say in order to give that help. Sadly depression is something a person should take care by himself, others can't just wash it out. Also i don't think that looking into the past and specifically finding someone to blame is going to fix anything. The only real cure for life is said on Johny walker - "keep walking", it's not easy to do, but it's the real recipe.
If i'm wrong and your brother's response is just response, without emphaty and understanding, than i do have a big problem with relatives. Again that response is something i can only dream about if i needed to ask for help.

When I asked him the question, I gave him the reason why I was interested in his answer. I never claimed that I was trying to blame someone. I just wanted a little info because I've done everything under the sun and moon to help myself but with no real results. I've recently read some things that resonate with me so that's why I wanted to get some feedback from my brother….I'm sorry that you feel like you don't have the support from your family. And I'm sorry that I look like I'm unappreciative of my brother but I didn't find his response supportive.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

His response seems selfish to me. Ngl I skimmed because I'm heading off soon. Did you really rebel or is that just his perspective? No judgements there, just comparing to my own experiences.

 

[StarryStarry]

He is obviously clueless. He seems very dismissive as if going out with friends or taking a walk will help your depression. Asking him any more questions is fruitless. He doesn't understand and is too busy to care. Just my opinion.

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

Your brother sounds like another one of those "I hAvE iT wOrSe ThAn YoU" normies.

 

[prbreese01]

His response seems selfish to me. Ngl I skimmed because I'm heading off soon. Did you really rebel or is that just his perspective? No judgements there, just comparing to my own experiences.

Thank you for your input. And nope! I didn't rebel. My parents labeled me that when I was a kid and it just stuck. I didn't do anything outrageous, I just added another piercing to one of my ears. That's their definition of rebellious.

He is obviously clueless. He seems very dismissive as if going out with friends or taking a walk will help your depression. Asking him any more questions is fruitless. He doesn't understand and is too busy to care. Just my opinion.

Thank you! I agree that he's clueless. I couldn't believe his response and it just shows how little he knows me or what anyone with depression is really going through. It just makes me feel like giving up now, once and for all. I don't have friends and I clearly don't have a brother that I can reach out to.

 

[cambrai33]

Thank you for your input. And nope! I didn't rebel. My parents labeled me that when I was a kid and it just stuck. I didn't do anything outrageous, I just added another piercing to one of my ears. That's their definition of rebellious.

Thank you! I agree that he's clueless. I couldn't believe his response and it just shows how little he knows me or what anyone with depression is really going through. It just makes me feel like giving up now, once and for all. I don't have friends and I clearly don't have a brother that I can reach out to.

Ok

Perhaps he is going through stuff too, I know he come across as a bit of a twat in the way he replied, very matter as fact but perhaps there's more to it.

He did finish saying he's always there if you need him, keep trying and don't give up just yet

 

[TotallyIsolated]

Your brother is not qualified to give advice about mental health. I'm sorry he wasn't more supportive. You were right to ask questions about your childhood. I think digging deeper into this will be helpful for you.

 

[prbreese01]

Your brother sounds like another one of those "I hAvE iT wOrSe ThAn YoU" normies.

Yup. I couldn't believe he wrote all that. In my opinion, it shows that he hasn't made any effort to really understand me. The "I have it worse" or "there are other people worse off" comments is totally uncalled for. I've been struggling for years (actually decades) and of course I know that there are people in far worse situations than me.

Ok

Perhaps he is going through stuff too, I know he come across as a bit of a twat in the way he replied, very matter as fact but perhaps there's more to it.

He did finish saying he's always there if you need him, keep trying and don't give up just yet

He definitely has a lot on his plate and is going through some stuff. But I don't think that warrants his lecture or response to my question. Actually, this is something that he's always done to me. We've never had a conversation, it's always him just giving me unsolicited advice or telling me how to do something.

Your brother is not qualified to give advice about mental health. I'm sorry he wasn't more supportive. You were right to ask questions about your childhood. I think digging deeper into this will be helpful for you.

Thank you so much. My intent wasn't to blame anyone, I just wanted his perspective because my recall may be different from his. And I do think it's important to try and find the source because maybe I've been tackling my depression the wrong way this entire time.