Venting I need help real soon

[.noclip]

I am so gone with my thoughts, my life, everything, im fucking lost.

The worst thing is that im still young, im 20 years old and yet still so lost.

I cant do this, i cant do anythibg. My life is a waste. People told me thoughts like this would pass when i was 13. They never did, if anything my suicidal thoughts only got stronger as time passed.

I've tried relieving myself with self harm and drugs but nothing helps at all. Shit is still hitting the fan. Stronger than ever.

Please someone tell me that ill be alright. I got no one to talk to. I hate this fucking life and i hate venting stupid shit every single one of you probs read on a daily basis but please, can you guys try to reassure me everything will be alright? Eventhough it wont in the long run i bet.

Man i fucking hate my life and every living second. This shit fucking sucks. I really dont know what to do right now. Help me
Please. This is the only place where i get to share my thoughts semi-anonymously..

I love all of you guys and i hope im the only one that feels this way even though i know im not.

Im sorry for the vent, but fuck i had to tell someone, even if its this forum. Just someone.

<3

 

[Someone123]

You do have age on your side, and things can bget better over time if you know the right things to work on for yourself. A network of people who support you is the main first step that can help, and if you're feeling this bad, this is likely a challenge for you at this time. Finding ways to make some friends and possibly connecting with family members who care care help, even if it's extended family. Do you have some people who care about you now?

 

[chloramine]

Things can get better. I can't promise they will or that tomorrow will be easier, but it can be. The potential for better exists. You can get there. Your life could drastically change for the better. I really hope it does and that you get to experience better. Once you've made more posts you'll be able to privately message people- at that point you can pm me if you want to talk. For now if you want to go into more detail or anything here that's open to you.

 

[.noclip]

You do have age on your side, and things can bget better over time if you know the right things to work on for yourself. A network of people who support you is the main first step that can help, and if you're feeling this bad, this is likely a challenge for you at this time. Finding ways to make some friends and possibly connecting with family members who care care help, even if it's extended family. Do you have some people who care about you now?

I do have family members and friends that care about me yeah. But the main problem is that in my mind i think that nothing and no one can help me anymore. Its a never ending pain.

The problem with my loved ones is that none of them know the pain im feeling even if i tell them straight up. You know what they'll say if i say everything i typed out? "It'll be alright" ive had the conversation with them many of times.

They cant help. Next thing i thought about is a therapist but i just dismissed that thought because theres no way in hell i'll pay someone to listen to my bullshit thoughts. The thing a therapist will do is send me to a psych ward if i truly tell them everything. I truly feel hopeless right now.

 

[Someone123]

I do jhave a lot of ideas for how you can develop friendships that can help and I may have ideas that could help withini a family depending on the situation. A relationship can also help but since this gets a little more complicated it would be best to start with friendships.

 

[.noclip]

The more i think the more i feel like i cant be helped.

You cant help someone that doesnt want help.

Or however the fuck the saying goes lol

 

[adventurer]

The more i think the more i feel like i cant be helped.

You cant help someone that doesnt want help.

Or however the fuck the saying goes lol

i can't say that i believe, in my instance, that everything will be alright. i'm not sure i know yours well enough to say so either. what i can say is that there are a lot of people that feel like we do who eventually have it turn around, in a matter of time. whether or not you want to take the risk of waiting for what could be nothing is up to you - but if you have a shred of optimism, i'd advise you to hold on to it and see where it takes you. wishing you all the best.

 

[Zegers]

I thought at some point i would feel better or something but no, just every year it's like getting worse and it's all nonsense and going nowhere. Hope things can get better for you.

 

[toforigivelife]

When you talk about drugs are you referring to psychiatric drugs or psychiatric medications?

I hate to sound like an old fogey and I know that this kind of pain is as real at 20 as it is at 60 but it is a little early to declare that your life is a waste.

You're at a high pressure, competitive age right now and you'd be surprised at the number of people your age who feel the same kind of pressure you're feeling right now.

You will be okay.

I wish you were old enough to realize that those who make you feel like your life is a waste or who make you feel inferior somehow are just as human and mortal and flawed as you are, just as human and mortal and flawed as we all are.

I wish you were old enough to know that love is the most important thing in life. Love in the intimate sense, love of true, genuine friends, the love of those who love you.

I wish you were old enough to know that kindness is the greatest gift that you can offer. Big acts of kindness, small acts of kindness, how you make others feel.

I wish you were old enough to know that the best thing that you can do for yourself, for those around you and for the future love that you will find is to focus on how make a living at something that you enjoy, something that utilizes your talents, something that fulfills you.

But right now you've got to find a way to focus on your health.

Are you trapped in your parents home right now? Do you have a family who are indifferent to your mental health crisis? Is not looking for help a matter of not having enough money?

Can you try and find a doctor or mental health professional who can diagnose you and get you on the right path as far as treating your mental health?

If your home life is the problem is there a supportive relative or supportive friend you can stay with while you seek treatment?

 

[Zegers]

You will be okay.

Respectfully, but i think you shouldn't say this, you don't know anything about his life. Things were not going well in twenties and not going well now either at 30. Things sometimes get better and sometimes doesnt.

 

[Euthanza]

Your brain is still developing at 20. I suggest you better not to think too much, be more pragmatic in daily routine, there are days when you stuck on your mind and it can't go but when you're busy doing anything, even unimportant nonsense, it will give you a lil break time. I hope you'll be better, may time bring you up the change

 

[Julgran]

people told me thoughts like this would pass when i was 13. They never did, if anything my suicidal thoughts only got stronger as time passed.

There are no set points in life at which things will get better or worse, in general. In a tragicomical way, you could say that life gets progressively worse while a person gets older, since life will always try its best to throw obstacles at you, but that's not for you to worry about right now.

The problem with my loved ones is that none of them know the pain im feeling even if i tell them straight up. You know what they'll say if i say everything i typed out? "It'll be alright" ive had the conversation with them many of times.

What is the pain that you are speaking of? Are yo having troubles with school, or something else? If so, that will certainly pass, even though it may feel like an eternity to go through.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I'm sorry that you're feeling lost and confused and hopeless. There is one benefit to being 20 years old however. If you have a dream you can take tiny steps to pursue it. If you don't have a dream you have time to try different things and perhaps find a dream. When you're 20 years old you have time to try this and try that. Perhaps make some money and travel. Go somewhere very cheap and explore.
I know that if you're feeling absolutely rotten and frightened none of this is encouraging or even inspiring. The only thing I can tell you is that when you're 20 years old you have plenty of time to fuck around. I don't know if that's of any help. Feel free to message me if you'd like to discuss further. I'm better at fixing other peoples lives on my own :)

 

[Someone123]

I do have family members and friends that care about me yeah. But the main problem is that in my mind i think that nothing and no one can help me anymore. Its a never ending pain.

The problem with my loved ones is that none of them know the pain im feeling even if i tell them straight up. You know what they'll say if i say everything i typed out? "It'll be alright" ive had the conversation with them many of times.

They cant help. Next thing i thought about is a therapist but i just dismissed that thought because theres no way in hell i'll pay someone to listen to my bullshit thoughts. The thing a therapist will do is send me to a psych ward if i truly tell them everything. I truly feel hopeless right now.

A therapist is very unlikely to help, some people get lucky and find someone who does help, but most do not- they have a huge profit motive to drag your pain out over a long period of time and this does play into it for most of them- there is no urgency to really help you quickly at all, if they do help you at all.

It is true that if you keep telling yourself that nothing and no one can help you that this to a large extent becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. It's true that when very depressed you can't tell anyone everything, but it is also true that you don't need to to get better. You just need to find a way to start having some type of positive experiences and build on this- some type of positive experiences with family and friends where you lessen the amount of negative self talk. Once you find some movement in the right direction you can build on this What ares some experiences in life have you had that are positive?

Having family and friends who care about y9ou is the key. No one can ever tell everyone everything in their thoughts when their life gets so bad, and this is not at all needed to get things to be better. Choosing to rep0lace some of your most negative thoughts with better thoughts can start things going in the right direction.

A big key, I believe, is to dig into the details of relationships with family and friends and ask yourself which people seem to care more sincerely, and try to spend more t8imne with them, but it's not true that you can tell them everything about how megative your thoughts are. You need to get some positive experiences and build on them.

 

[eternalflame]

Go to see a doctor.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Of course in this life there is no guarantee that things will get better, as life is cruel, unfair, unpredictable and uncertain, but I do hope that you find relief from your suffering. I understand the feeing of being tired of everything and I know that it is hard to carry on when you are living a life that you hate. Best wishes.

 

[hellispink]

how you are feeling must be overwhelming. Remember you have right to feel this way. It is valid to feel lost, mostly at this strange times and era. Everything seems out of our control these days and it can indeed be very scary and upsetting. However, as long as one it still breathing, there is space for new lookouts and perspectives we can consider for our own lives. What has work for me is trying to have compassion over myself, I tell myself that I might not know what I want, but maybe in the future it could perhaps be different. Dealing with uncertainty is very difficult, I imagine you are going through a lot. Sending you hugs and I hope you find some relief soon.