Help I need help in comforting a friend of mine with their gender dysphoria. PLEASE

[Despondent_Fondant]

My closest friend is trans FTM, and I dont see them as a "transgender man" to me they are just a man, plain and simple. As someone who is cis gender I cant relate to the feeling of dysphoria, but I want to comfort them so bad. What I do right now is hold space for them and allow them to vent about it, and assure them that no matter how they are feeling, or how they may see themselves, I still and will always see them as a man. They are disgusted by themselves all the time, and I was told that this is a very common feeling in the transgender community. So please if anyone has any tips or advice I would be extremely thankful. Gender affirming care is life saving :)

 

[falling_snow]

I am a cis man, but growing I had "gender" disphoria. I am now comfortable with my gender and expression.
Though I am not of much help, I wish to bump and let this gain more attraction from others.

From what I read, I think you are doing great, leaving space and hearing them can be a great response. Also, is he getting or in the way of getting gender affirming care?

 

[Abyssal]

Speak with them about it, maybe some of what's happening is derived from what is going on in their own lives or even the ones they must put up with. If you already refer to him as he/him then you're already helping them, even if it's not a cure.

Personally, when I put up with transphobia at my job, my friends and I talk about how stupid their bullshit is and laugh at how ignorant they are behind their backs. Whether or not your friend would prefer you being confrontational or if you are even comfortable with such a thing is something I can't be sure about, but being able to tell your friend that the person is in the wrong always seems to help imo.

In the end, the truth is that while we can help our friends fight gender dysphoria it is their battle and we can't just make them get better on our own. Be there for him but don't beat yourself up over it if they are still struggling. You're a good friend.

 

[ToastInTheShell]

Trying to help someone else with GD is rlly difficult. There's not much you can do for someone else's self hatred. Letting them vent and reassuring them is the best you can really do.

For me at least, making any kind of change or progress felt great, but that'd be sort of up to him. Sounds corny, but for me working out was a great hack for long-term dysphoria. Seeing tangible results when they align with ur gender feels fantastic. Losing motivation and stagnating was a big problem for me though, so just being there for him and encouraging him would probably help a ton.

Honestly, the fact that you're asking for help to try and do even more shows that you're doing more than most. You treat him like a man, and with kindness and respect. You're doing a fucking phenomenal job.

 

[Despondent_Fondant]

I am a cis man, but growing I had "gender" disphoria. I am now comfortable with my gender and expression.
Though I am not of much help, I wish to bump and let this gain more attraction from others.

From what I read, I think you are doing great, leaving space and hearing them can be a great response. Also, is he getting or in the way of getting gender affirming care?

Yes he is in the process of getting gender afferming care, the process is just slow in Canada. And thank you for the response man I actually really appreciate it <3

Speak with them about it, maybe some of what's happening is derived from what is going on in their own lives or even the ones they must put up with. If you already refer to him as he/him then you're already helping them, even if it's not a cure.

Personally, when I put up with transphobia at my job, my friends and I talk about how stupid their bullshit is and laugh at how ignorant they are behind their backs. Whether or not your friend would prefer you being confrontational or if you are even comfortable with such a thing is something I can't be sure about, but being able to tell your friend that the person is in the wrong always seems to help imo.

In the end, the truth is that while we can help our friends fight gender dysphoria it is their battle and we can't just make them get better on our own. Be there for him but don't beat yourself up over it if they are still struggling. You're a good friend.

Thank you for the advice and kind words :). We do actually joke about how much shit he has to put up with on like a weekly basis lmao. It seems therapeutic for sure. Also he is now far more actively seeking gender affirming care and is like really excited about it and im happy for him.

Trying to help someone else with GD is rlly difficult. There's not much you can do for someone else's self hatred. Letting them vent and reassuring them is the best you can really do.

For me at least, making any kind of change or progress felt great, but that'd be sort of up to him. Sounds corny, but for me working out was a great hack for long-term dysphoria. Seeing tangible results when they align with ur gender feels fantastic. Losing motivation and stagnating was a big problem for me though, so just being there for him and encouraging him would probably help a ton.

Honestly, the fact that you're asking for help to try and do even more shows that you're doing more than most. You treat him like a man, and with kindness and respect. You're doing a fucking phenomenal job.

Thanks, I really do care about him and want him to be as comfortable as possible in his body yk? Me and him have also talked about me being his accountability partner for working out as it's something I already do, and he struggles with motivation a lot. But I never really seen it as something that could help him better align with his gender, thanks for the insight. People on this forum are so kind and understanding!

 

[Ash]

I'm cis with trans friends and the best thing I can say is just be yourself and do normal stuff that you both enjoy. Act your age and take the piss out of each other and have each others backs and let your personalities define your friendship. That'll stand the test of time.