Help I need help, I'm homeless again

[snowlance]

My parents kicked me out again. I have no money, no plan, and most importantly no car insurance. Only a full tank of gas and all my stuff is in my car.

My parents try to control everything and take things away from me and they finally said they had enough of me and kicked me out. Theyve been absolutely horrible lately and laugh at my suffering and treat me like a dog. Ive blocked them and finally cut them out of my life. All I have is my car full of my stuff and a full tank of gas...ill probably write a vent thread explaining what all happened later tonight or tommorrow but rn I need to figure out what im gonna do to stay safe and keep going. I'm too disabled to work a normal job so I have 3 options:

1. Admit myself to inpatient care. I can park my car with stuff in the parking lot and they have cameras so I think it should be safe. Although, I'm really scared of hospitals and have no idea what inpatient care is really like but my parents want me to do it so bad. Ive heard good things and bad things. I heard they can get me a diagnosis really fast and stabilize my meds and stuff, and maybe even get me into a group home until I can get on disability, which actually sounds kinda nice (my lawyer is still working on it). However, I've heard some bad things too, about how some places mistreat patients. I hear they take away your phone, watch you 24/7, therapists and talking to doctors every 30-60 min, it sounds like anxiety hell. I could maybe deal with the other things if I just have my phone and music to listen to, watch youtube, anything, but they apparently take everything away. I don't know if all places are like that though and I don't know where to look for inpatient care either.

2. Try to get auto-insurance somehow and attempt to work Spark or Uber (although I can't do uber until I find storage for all my stuff). If anyone knows of any resources for help or free auto insurance I'd appreciate it.

3. CTB. I need a method though, I heard I can take the catalytic convertor off my car or disable it somehow but I have no idea how. I have some tools though. This is my last resort though and idk if I can actually do it because of SN and the promise I made to my friend.

Anyways, any help is appreciated and I wanna thank everyone who helped me in the past somehow.

 

[kawaiiphantom]

My parents kicked me out again. I have no money, no plan, and most importantly no car insurance. Only a full tank of gas and all my stuff is in my car.

My parents try to control everything and take things away from me and they finally said they had enough of me and kicked me out. Theyve been absolutely horrible lately and laugh at my suffering and treat me like a dog. Ive blocked them and finally cut them out of my life. All I have is my car full of my stuff and a full tank of gas...ill probably write a vent thread explaining what all happened later tonight or tommorrow but rn I need to figure out what im gonna do to stay safe and keep going. I'm too disabled to work a normal job so I have 3 options:

1. Admit myself to inpatient care. I can park my car with stuff in the parking lot and they have cameras so I think it should be safe. Although, I'm really scared of hospitals and have no idea what inpatient care is really like but my parents want me to do it so bad. Ive heard good things and bad things. I heard they can get me a diagnosis really fast and stabilize my meds and stuff, and maybe even get me into a group home until I can get on disability, which actually sounds kinda nice (my lawyer is still working on it). However, I've heard some bad things too, about how some places mistreat patients. I hear they take away your phone, watch you 24/7, therapists and talking to doctors every 30-60 min, it sounds like anxiety hell. I could maybe deal with the other things if I just have my phone and music to listen to, watch youtube, anything, but they apparently take everything away. I don't know if all places are like that though and I don't know where to look for inpatient care either.

2. Try to get auto-insurance somehow and attempt to work Spark or Uber (although I can't do uber until I find storage for all my stuff). If anyone knows of any resources for help or free auto insurance I'd appreciate it. I need all the help I can get, and if anyone has expendable income and can pay for autoinsurance for me or lend some money, or resources, ill take all the help I can get. I can also pay you back when I do Spark with the auto insurance. Right now my current insurance expires tommorrow so I'm trying to do as much Spark as I can tonight (I'm online on it rn looking for trips as I write this xd).

3. CTB. I need a method though, I heard I can take the catalytic convertor off my car or disable it somehow but I have no idea how. I have some tools though. This is my last resort though and idk if I can actually do it because of SN and the promise I made to my friend.

Anyways, any help is appreciated and I wanna thank everyone who helped me in the past somehow.

I think inpatient care would be the best option. That way you wont have to worry about meals for a while and also the stuff you mentioned about them being able to find a group home. Personally my experience with inpatient care was rlly good. I don't know what it's like everywhere, but the one I went to every one was treated kindly and tbh I felt safe there. Some of them you get to watch movies, the one I went to they made tea/hot coco for the patients every night.Also the place I went to let us use iPads as long as it's outside your room, you could watch YouTube on them. I would say give it a shot :] you never know it might turn out good also maybe look at the reviews for inpatient care near you on google?

 

[no-name9859472882]

Phyc wards are horrible I don't reccomemd it they just lock u up treat you like shit and scam your insurance

 

[OMAX]

where are you located

 

[LifeIsCrazyNemb]

I think inpatient care would be the best option. That way you wont have to worry about meals for a while and also the stuff you mentioned about them being able to find a group home. Personally my experience with inpatient care was rlly good. I don't know what it's like everywhere, but the one I went to every one was treated kindly and tbh I felt safe there. Some of them you get to watch movies, the one I went to they made tea/hot coco for the patients every night.Also the place I went to let us use iPads as long as it's outside your room, you could watch YouTube on them. I would say give it a shot :] you never know it might turn out good also maybe look at the reviews for inpatient care near you on google?

This advice sounds reasonable, looks like a good next step.

I think CTB is for when there is no more hope, and in your case you clearly identified possible solutions so give it a shot.

 

[Final_Choice]

Inpatient care could be good. Be prepared to operate on a tight schedule and have everything controlled. If you go in of your own volition they'll be more lenient with you compared to someone being forced into it. I've only been to one and it was good, not great, not terrible. It does count as a hospitalization, so unless you have insurance it will cost a bit but almost all insurances cover it and the hospital should have a program to help you out if you don't. Just be honest with them but make sure to portray yourself as someone "stable," so don't do anything rash in there or lash out at anyone. The one I was at let us watch TV sometimes, we had an Ipad we could use, had some group sessions together, and we also got to use our phones a couple times a day for about 20 or 30 minutes. If you go in voluntarily and you seem fine to them they can't force you to stay (depends on what level of the psych ward you're at, I've only had experience with the highest level in my psych ward and I think there are more restrictions on the lower levels) so I think it might be something good to try out.

 

[snowlance]

where are you located

Janesville WI
I'm gonna call about inpatient care tommorrow for sure, maybe I can find one that let's me use a tablet or music of some kind.

 

[Sleeper System]

Choose option #4.

Apologize to your parents and let them do their job.
They're not supposed to be your friends.
You're not always going to like them or agree with them.
If you're not getting sexually or physically abused then you are strong enough to handle whatever they dish out.

You're not ready to be on your own. Look at the needless struggle you're putting yourself through. You have no plan. Life isn't always a movie. Shit gets heavy in the real-world.

I dont expect anyone to agree or even respect my prospective but so many people have no one. Not even a shitty mom or dad who they can hate and blame all their problems on. I don't know the full extent of your situation but based on what you said that's just my person opinion.

As for the options you listed...
If you have been diagnosed and have a record of mental instability then inpatient seems like your best bet. I wouldn't recommend that to someone with non-medical record because it stays there forever and messes up opportunities.

CTB should always be the last option and I'm glad you at least realize that much. Storage will be an issue if you have no money or at least a friend who can do u a favor for a small fee. Most insurance requires an address and no where on this earth is there "free insurance". If someone were willing to put you and your vehicle on their insurance maybe but again it's not simple.

Sorry I dont feel like I'm being helpful all that much.

 

[snowlance]

Choose option #4.

Apologize to your parents and let them do their job.
They're not supposed to be your friends.
You're not always going to like them or agree with them.
If you're not getting sexually or physically abused then you are strong enough to handle whatever they dish out.

You're not ready to be on your own. Look at the needless struggle you're putting yourself through. You have no plan. Life isn't always a movie. Shit gets heavy in the real-world.

I dont expect anyone to agree or even respect my prospective but so many people have no one. Not even a shitty mom or dad who they can hate and blame all their problems on. I don't know the full extent of your situation but based on what you said that's just my person opinion.

As for the options you listed...
If you have been diagnosed and have a record of mental instability then inpatient seems like your best bet. I wouldn't recommend that to someone with non-medical record because it stays there forever and messes up opportunities.

CTB should always be the last option and I'm glad you at least realize that much. Storage will be an issue if you have no money or at least a friend who can do u a favor for a small fee. Most insurance requires an address and no where on this earth is there "free insurance". If someone were willing to put you and your vehicle on their insurance maybe but again it's not simple.

Sorry I dont feel like I'm being helpful all that much.

My parents said they don't want me back ever again. They won't accept any apologies.
They laughed and made jokes while I was having a breakdown crying and falling down the stairs. I tripped in front of my grandma and she chuckled a bit. These people are sick and unreasonable. There is no apologizing or anything I can do.
I fucked up tonight though, I took and amanita gummy like I did in the past to help me focus and work but forgot I've been clean for 2 months so it hit me hard and I got super high
There's no options left...I dont trust hospitals and police...
Idk if I trust anyone anymore.
My dad almost assaulted me a month ago, made me black out from a panic attack. My mom disowned me because I'm trans and doesn't want to deal with me. She's done so many horrible things I don't wanna get into rn.
I'm so lost right now...
I'm so stupid
Stupid brain
I'm so cold. Hopefully this high will be my last and ill just freeze to death in my car. Fuck it.

 

[heliophobic]

Choose option #4.

Apologize to your parents and let them do their job.
They're not supposed to be your friends.
You're not always going to like them or agree with them.
If you're not getting sexually or physically abused then you are strong enough to handle whatever they dish out.

You're not ready to be on your own. Look at the needless struggle you're putting yourself through. You have no plan. Life isn't always a movie. Shit gets heavy in the real-world.

I dont expect anyone to agree or even respect my prospective but so many people have no one. Not even a shitty mom or dad who they can hate and blame all their problems on. I don't know the full extent of your situation but based on what you said that's just my person opinion.

As for the options you listed...
If you have been diagnosed and have a record of mental instability then inpatient seems like your best bet. I wouldn't recommend that to someone with non-medical record because it stays there forever and messes up opportunities.

CTB should always be the last option and I'm glad you at least realize that much. Storage will be an issue if you have no money or at least a friend who can do u a favor for a small fee. Most insurance requires an address and no where on this earth is there "free insurance". If someone were willing to put you and your vehicle on their insurance maybe but again it's not simple.

Sorry I dont feel like I'm being helpful all that much.

I agree with you. Reading the texts, I was sort of confused about why there was an issue about living at home. Why were your meds being doled out to you? Were they being abused? I know it's none of my business, I'm just trying to understand the full situation. Also: I don't think there's a parent in the world (except for really, really abusive ones) that wouldn't help their child that's in danger, even if they've been no contact for long periods of time, because it's better to have a damaged yet alive kid than a dead one. (If that makes sense) You could try writing a letter. At least go to a warming shelter at night so you don't freeze in your car. Those will be open for the homeless during the winter. It's something until you can figure something else out.

 

[Doemu]

As someone who I have been 3 times homeless I will tell you that you are not in position to help yourself all what you need.

Listen carefully. For incredible that it sounds, now you should forget about money.

What you need most is have all you papers/bureaucracy at day. You need to ask for help to your government.

Go to talk to an emergency social worker NOW.

 

[snowlance]

I called and they said they can't help me because I'm technically a walworth county resident and need an address in rock county.
They gave me 2 numbers for homeless shelters tho xd
I cant really stay at them though because I get constant anxiety and can't sleep...
That's why i didn't wanna call crisis or anything, I knew thats what they'd say
I cant call crisis in Walworth because my mom talked to them and they don't help me anymore. Just give me pamphlets and pretty much tell me I brought it on myself, I should've done this, etc. They're on my mom's side.

 

[snowlance]

Yeah I think I'm actually fucked this time...
It's supposed to get below freezing tonight and all the homeless shelters arent available rn
Best I can do is run the engine all night or hang out in the gas station maybe if they'll let me
I genuinely don't know what to do

 

[bipolar22]

think its time to call your parents and apologies and go home. You want out that place I understand i have parents like this but it was too unplanned and impulsive this time. Good luck.

 

[Doemu]

I called and they said they can't help me because I'm technically a walworth county resident and need an address in rock county.
They gave me 2 numbers for homeless shelters tho xd
I cant really stay at them though because I get constant anxiety and can't sleep...
That's why i didn't wanna call crisis or anything, I knew thats what they'd say
I cant call crisis in Walworth because my mom talked to them and they don't help me anymore. Just give me pamphlets and pretty much tell me I brought it on myself, I should've done this, etc. They're on my mom's side.

They can give you a residence in there, they just are trying to kick you out. I know it's hard, but you need to fight, and don't believe what they say.

 

[snowlance]

think its time to call your parents and apologies and go home. You want out that place I understand i have parents like this but it was too unplanned and impulsive this time. Good luck.

In case you didn't read my last messages, thats not an option. They disowned me and I already apologized and they said they still don't want me anymore. How much do I need to prove I can't go back?
Here's kind of a breakdown if what happened, as I told my friend:
They're very two faced, say they care at first I'm always welcome then do this shit and say "get the fuck out of my house" when I fight back
I dont mind doing chores and other things they ask of me but when it starts degrading/threatening my health, that's when I have a problem with it.
I almost broke my arm and went insane from all the stuff they put me through. I could tell you more of the fucked up things they did but I'd be writing a book. They abused me all my life.
My dad almost assaulted me last month, and instigated it when I was trying to defend myself saying "OH you wanna hit me? I'd like to see you try! Do it! See what happens!" And my brothers had to hold him back from charging at me. I passed out on the floor from the panic attack it gave me and all I heard was my brother screaming at my dad upstairs saying I was unresponsive and having a seizure. That doesn't sound like a safe place to go back to at all.

 

[Shrike]

Is that even legal? How old are you? Depending on that this may be more social worker territory.

 

[kawaiiphantom]

Yeah I think I'm actually fucked this time...
It's supposed to get below freezing tonight and all the homeless shelters arent available rn
Best I can do is run the engine all night or hang out in the gas station maybe if they'll let me
I genuinely don't know what to do

How did it end up going last night? im sorry you have to go through all of this. Some people just don't understand that it can be extremely hard to function when you're struggling mentally or with ur health, and you can't always do chores. im so sorry you got kicked out, and that you had to live through such a horrible home environment. How are you doing now?

 

[LifeIsCrazyNemb]

In case you didn't read my last messages, thats not an option. They disowned me and I already apologized and they said they still don't want me anymore. How much do I need to prove I can't go back?
Here's kind of a breakdown if what happened, as I told my friend:
They're very two faced, say they care at first I'm always welcome then do this shit and say "get the fuck out of my house" when I fight back
I dont mind doing chores and other things they ask of me but when it starts degrading/threatening my health, that's when I have a problem with it.
I almost broke my arm and went insane from all the stuff they put me through. I could tell you more of the fucked up things they did but I'd be writing a book. They abused me all my life.
My dad almost assaulted me last month, and instigated it when I was trying to defend myself saying "OH you wanna hit me? I'd like to see you try! Do it! See what happens!" And my brothers had to hold him back from charging at me. I passed out on the floor from the panic attack it gave me and all I heard was my brother screaming at my dad upstairs saying I was unresponsive and having a seizure. That doesn't sound like a safe place to go back to at all.
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Feel sorry for you. I know that its extremely cold in Wiscosin this time of year. Did u manage to get a shelter? I think you should insist and go to the shelter by car even if they denied you on the phone. In last case scenario maybe go to a police station and ask for help and also mention the abuses?

 

[bipolar22]

In case you didn't read my last messages, thats not an option.

sorry i missed it. i got concentration issues. damn thats a fucked up situation indeed.

 

[snowlance]

sorry i missed it. i got concentration issues. damn thats a fucked up situation indeed.

No worries, I'm not mad or anything. I probably over reacted a bit, sorry.

 

[Linda]

Inpatient care is a gamble. Whether it's any good or not depends on which hospital you finish up in. But it might help, and I think it's your best (or least bad?) option at the moment. If it doesn't go well, and if nothing better turns up in the meantime, you still have the option to ctb later.

There might be an alternative. Although I'm no fan of religion, there are still some religious folk who try to practice what christianity is supposed to be about. There are some churches that would help you get organized if you knock on their door. (There are also many that won't, so you would have to choose carefully.) They won't be able to provide long-term support, but they mght help for a day or two.

 

[snowlance]

I'm living in my car rn, but my friend said I can stay with him until Monday when I can make more phone calls. I'm being safe. If anything things have been a lot easier lately, less anxiety and my head is more clear and stuff. I can actually plan things out now xd

Inpatient care is a gamble. Whether it's any good or not depends on which hospital you finish up in. But it might help, and I think it's you best (or least bad?) option at the moment. If it doesn't go well, and if nothing better turns up in the meantime, you still have the option to ctb later.

I'm gonna try looking at reviews for it and stuff if I can.

 

[fuzzy-clown]

Can you deliver food on a rental bike until you can afford to pay for car insurance?

 

[snowlance]

Can you deliver food on a rental bike until you can afford to pay for car insurance?

Maybe
Idk how tho
I dont have enough gas to go to the only available homeless shelter and it's getting cold...

 

[kawaiiphantom]

I'm living in my car rn, but my friend said I can stay with him until Monday when I can make more phone calls. I'm being safe. If anything things have been a lot easier lately, less anxiety and my head is more clear and stuff. I can actually plan things out now xd

I'm gonna try looking at reviews for it and stuff if I can.

YAYYYY so happy to hear that u have less anxiety now!!! Glad ur friend is letting u stay with them for a bit :]

 

[divinemistress36]

Inpatient care is a gamble. Whether it's any good or not depends on which hospital you finish up in. But it might help, and I think it's your best (or least bad?) option at the moment. If it doesn't go well, and if nothing better turns up in the meantime, you still have the option to ctb later.

There might be an alternative. Although I'm no fan of religion, there are still some religious folk who try to practice what christianity is supposed to be about. There are some churches that would help you get organized if you knock on their door. (There are also many that won't, so you would have to choose carefully.) They won't be able to provide long-term support, but they mght help for a day or two.

I second reaching out to churches. They can help with shelter and food

 

[fuzzy-clown]

Maybe
Idk how tho
I dont have enough gas to go to the only available homeless shelter and it's getting cold...

 

[snowlance]

In my car again, but I have blankets. Thinking of going inpatient care.

This would be so fun to do if I didn't have all the mental illnesses god or life blessed me with xd

 

[snowlance]

I've decided to go inpatient but I'm procrastinating like mad rn
Took another weed gummy so I can't drive to the hospital to buy myself more time lol
It was perfect too, I got some sleep so I'm thinking clearer and explain what's going on
But I'm scared
I'm running out of money and gas, and won't be able to keep warm with my car much anymore. I need to decide soon or there will only be more suffering waiting for me
I feel so gross from being unable to shower for 4 days and I'm surviving off of gas station take home meals, this isn't healthy
But I want to buy myself more time as much as possable until it's too late
I'm so scared idk what to do
I cant live in this world, I'm too weak.
I've been through so much I don't wanna suffer anymore, when are things going to ever get better
Im so scared of people, the way they look at me, everyone looks at me, like I'm some lost puppy, someone pathetic, a failure
I hate it, I wish i didn't have to eat or anything, just hibernate until the bad stuff is over
I promised my friend we'd move in together, we'd fight and meet each other again someday, but life keeps making that promise harder and harder every day. It never gets easier, and if it does, it's usually a trick, and I get my hopes up thinking things are changing and it just plummets
I'm too weak to ctb, too weak to live. This is torture, what the fuck am I supposed to do?
I just wanna be in my own room separated from the world to do my own thing, by myself
I've made compromises all my life, suffered so much, did the right thing all the time, and that all gets fuxked over because of random chance. I didn't ask for any of these mental problems, I wish I could work and be independent, get an rv, travel, freelance programming, I had so many ambitions just stripped away from me one by one
But no, the people who raised and abused me all my life get to sit by a cozy fire and watch movies with a roof over their head.
Theres no justice in this world at all...
I've always been childish growing up, I wanted to learn more about everything, how plants worked, how animals acted, how computers worked, what space is like...even to this day it's my curse, this naive motivation like "maybe I can still do this" or "maybe I can do this at least as a hobby", you'd think after life beats you over and over for years, that light would be completely snuffed out by now but it isnt for some reason
Whyy
I just wanna enjoy the small things in life now...I keep thinking if I just hold on a little longer, I'll reach that day where I can be on disability living with my friend, and not constantly have to worry about my life going to shit again. I just wanna relax, I feel like I'm 70 years old on my last years trying to retire but I'm only 26. Life has just whittled me down in such a short period of time so much, I'm unable to function like a normal person. I will never be normal again. All the trauma and stress ive been through, half of which was caused by my parents, will probably cause an early death for me and there's nothing I can do about it but try to enjoy the rest of this shit life but I can't even do that. Idk what will happen to me and im scared af...
Sorry this kinda turned into a vent thread lol my bad