I need help: how do I explain the SN I'm about to order to my mother?

[notevenhere]

Hey, Sasu. I'm in a really bad spot here. My family knows about my history of attempting suicide over the years, and when my best friend died last year, things got really bad that everything I do is monitored and limited as if it wasn't already as bad as before my breakdown.

I finally found a reliable place to order SN within my country. The only problem I have is how I'd be able to accept it at the gate. You have to know I have no ounce of independence in this household. They even have really huge dogs around the front gate so I don't sneak out. I can't continue living this miserably. I'm so tired. I'm gonna order the SN maybe next week. The 500g is sold out so it's more alarming to anyone to see I have 1kg of SN in my parcel.

I'm thinking of saying it's a special shampoo powder to make my hair thicker or maybe hair lice killer. Would that be believable?

I wish my movements weren't watched like this. it's not fair. it's not like my mother helps me with my medical bills or give me medical treatment. I'm suffering physically and nobody gives a fuck to even help me out. It's just cruel that they keep me alive.

 

[Unknown21]

Glad you found a source and will finally find peace. I don't know what you can say to them, but I wish you the best anyway.

 

[Agon321]

If your mom doesn't know anything about the SN, you can come up with anything.
The problem will arise when your mother is suspicious and looks for information about SN on the Internet.

Normal people use SN as salt for curing meat. I don't know if this will help you.
Other uses:
- as an analytical reagent in the chemical industry
- as an anti-corrosion, descaling and protective coating agent
- as a component of drilling oils and lubricants
- in the production of concrete and plaster to improve their strength and combat corrosion of iron reinforcement
- for the production of agricultural pesticides
- for the synthesis (production) of saccharin, synthetic caffeine and fluoroaromatics and blowing agents
- for removing hydrogen sulphide from natural gas
- for dyeing fabrics

Source is a Polish website.
Honestly, I don't think it will help you much.

Alternatively, you can come up with something else.
You can say that you need SN for your hobby (if you have any).
But it is important that your mother has no substantive knowledge about your hobby, and you must be VERY convincing.
You just have to lie well that you need the SN for your own purposes.

 

[StalkedByDeath]

Your best bet is honestly to get the package before she sees it somehow; that's what I did when I received mine while my mother was visiting. One google search of "sodium nitrite" is all it will take to put 2 and 2 together. Alternatively, have it delivered somewhere else.

You know her better than we do. Is she going to believe a lie at face value? Consider if you can even get away with lying here.