I need a gun for safety, but I'm scared I'll turn it on myself

[qwertylmno]

to make it short.
i need a gun for safety right now. but i'd turn it on myself at some point in a very impulsive way. i just really need that gun to feel safe. how could i even manage to keep myself safe from the party that's after me, but also keep myself safe from myself? it's ironic. but also i get to choose. idk.

 

[alwaysSuffering]

I know what you mean, I felt this way for many years. I finally purchased my first gun as I was being stalked by a felon/registered sex offender (later convicted of stalking me). That was over 10 years ago and I have not turned it on myself yet. I also have acquired more guns since. Although, (especially lately as my dog just unexpectedly passed away and I can't stand living without him), I am sometimes tempted to turn it on myself, the main reasons why I don't are that:

-I don't want anyone to be traumatized from finding my body in that state
-My cousin killed himself by shooting himself in the head at 18 but he was not aware that there was another kid nearby who saw and called police and my cousin was life flighted to the hospital and on life support, where his parents had to make the decision to pull the plug.

I don't think it's the ideal way to go. So even though I want to die so bad, I don't consider it an option for me. But if I had N beside me, I would be long gone by now.

 

[xostaticxo]

to make it short.
i need a gun for safety right now. but i'd turn it on myself at some point in a very impulsive way. i just really need that gun to feel safe. how could i even manage to keep myself safe from the party that's after me, but also keep myself safe from myself? it's ironic. but also i get to choose. idk.

Hey, I would say, don't get a gun. If there are people after you, please contact the Police or tell services near you, they can always try and help.

Acting impulsively is something alot of us on here probably do and we need help with that, there are loads of therapy options. I know in the UK it's free but hopefully where you are it's free too.

There is support out there ❤

 

[Cant go back]

If you don't plan on or want to ctb with a firearm then don't buy one for safety.

It's the reason I haven't purchased one yet because I know when I get to my breaking point I'll turn it on myself impulsively before I've had a chance to complete my plans.

 

[qwertylmno]

Hey, I would say, don't get a gun. If there are people after you, please contact the Police or tell services near you, they can always try and help.

Acting impulsively is something alot of us on here probably do and we need help with that, there are loads of therapy options. I know in the UK it's free but hopefully where you are it's free too.

There is support out there ❤

thanks static, i am in therapy. the other party with me is working on a temporary restraining order, but this seems to not be enough, that is how crazy my issue is. it wouldn't stop anything. also, i guess this is just an excuse to buy a gun because it wouldn't worry other people right now because they'd understand? they'd be worried if i got one out of the blue. i also live in a crime heavy city, so another alibi. once the thought is planted, it's hard to shake off y'know?
i am impulsive, you should see the other party!

If you don't plan on or want to ctb with a firearm then don't buy one for safety.

It's the reason I haven't purchased one yet because I know when I get to my breaking point I'll turn it on myself impulsively before I've had a chance to complete my plans.

i do want to, i just think about how it would hurt the people around me. i get teary eyed. a lot of people do care about me, i just can't really tell them as it would not help. the ideal method is SN, but if i start making plans, i can't really see it in my future. i want that peace of slipping away. the firearm is more likely, i just feel trapped with anxiety all around. i think i won't get one and focus on other methods of protection. i keep a nice knife and pepper spray by my bed. i live in a crime heavy city to add to my paranoia

 

[xostaticxo]

If you ever just need a chat, always a message away.

thanks static, i am in therapy. the other party with me is working on a temporary restraining order, but this seems to not be enough, that is how crazy my issue is. it wouldn't stop anything. also, i guess this is just an excuse to buy a gun because it wouldn't worry other people right now because they'd understand? they'd be worried if i got one out of the blue. i also live in a crime heavy city, so another alibi. once the thought is planted, it's hard to shake off y'know?
i am impulsive, you should see the other party!

i do want to, i just think about how it would hurt the people around me. i get teary eyed. a lot of people do care about me, i just can't really tell them as it would not help. the ideal method is SN, but if i start making plans, i can't really see it in my future. i want that peace of slipping away. the firearm is more likely, i just feel trapped with anxiety all around. i think i won't get one and focus on other methods of protection. i keep a nice knife and pepper spray by my bed. i live in a crime heavy city to add to my paranoia

 

[Cant go back]

i do want to, i just think about how it would hurt the people around me. i get teary eyed. a lot of people do care about me, i just can't really tell them as it would not help. the ideal method is SN, but if i start making plans, i can't really see it in my future. i want that peace of slipping away. the firearm is more likely, i just feel trapped with anxiety all around. i think i won't get one and focus on other methods of protection. i keep a nice knife and pepper spray by my bed. i live in a crime heavy city to add to my paranoia

Sorry you have to worry about your safety as well as what you're already dealing with. I understand about not being able to tell anyone and the fact that you have people that care about you.

Having a knife and pepper spray should be good enough. But I don't really know your situation.

 

[Stargazer100]

Look I don't know your exact situation but I find it difficult to imagine anyone needs a gun for safety. Gun are made to kill. If you mean to deter there are plenty of other options. Just my personal opinion.

 

[ReadyForIt]

If you don't intend on buying it for the purpose of CTB, then I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that you probably won't end up using it on yourself. I bought mine last month specifically for CTB, and still haven't been able to go through with it yet. I keep on telling myself that "this will be the day I do it," but when you're holding a loaded gun to your head it's extremely difficult to overcome the SI and the fear of what will happen when you pull that trigger. So I think you should be fine if you buy one for self defense.

 

[qwertylmno]

Look I don't know your exact situation but I find it difficult to imagine anyone needs a gun for safety. Gun are made to kill. If you mean to deter there are plenty of other options. Just my personal opinion.

You don't know my situation, and that's okay. I know my situation better than anyone. Know that where I live, it wouldn't be unreasonable to have one. People break into my house

 

[Aap]

I'll be frank and say it seems like you have little to zero experience with firearms. What are your plans for training how to use/reload the gun. If you haven't thought that far, you should likely take a step back and reconsider.

 

[qwertylmno]

I'll be frank and say it seems like you have little to zero experience with firearms. What are your plans for training how to use/reload the gun. If you haven't thought that far, you should likely take a step back and reconsider.

I do, so this is unimportant

 

[VicMackey]

to make it short.
i need a gun for safety right now. but i'd turn it on myself at some point in a very impulsive way. i just really need that gun to feel safe. how could i even manage to keep myself safe from the party that's after me, but also keep myself safe from myself? it's ironic. but also i get to choose. idk.

Better to have a gun and not need it than to need it and not have it......

 

[Aap]

It is indeed, provided one knows how to use it. OP does, so not my concern

 

[Pluto]

Statistically (assuming you are in the US) your predicament is very common, which is why the majority of US firearm deaths are suicides. If there are alternative ways to beef up security or use a taser or whatever, it would be safer for you, but you have to make the decision based on assessing the risks.

 

[Stargazer100]

Better to have a gun and not need it than to need it and not have it......

Have you even read the top post? Better not to have a gun and not do anything impulsive than to have it and risk using it when you shouldn't.

There are plenty of other options to improve your own safety.

 

[VicMackey]

Have you even read the top post? Better not to have a gun and not do anything impulsive than to have it and risk using it when you shouldn't.

There are plenty of other options to improve your own safety.

Harsh language, a taser, a sharp stick? A firearm is the ultimate equalizer.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

I know what you mean, I felt this way for many years. I finally purchased my first gun as I was being stalked by a felon/registered sex offender (later convicted of stalking me). That was over 10 years ago and I have not turned it on myself yet. I also have acquired more guns since. Although, (especially lately as my dog just unexpectedly passed away and I can't stand living without him), I am sometimes tempted to turn it on myself, the main reasons why I don't are that:

-I don't want anyone to be traumatized from finding my body in that state
-My cousin killed himself by shooting himself in the head at 18 but he was not aware that there was another kid nearby who saw and called police and my cousin was life flighted to the hospital and on life support, where his parents had to make the decision to pull the plug.

I don't think it's the ideal way to go. So even though I want to die so bad, I don't consider it an option for me. But if I had N beside me, I would be long gone by now.

My sincere condolences for the loss of your Dog, My Staffie Max is getting old and l also fear being without him, he's all l have and he means the world to me, 3 months after he goes l will follow him via a 1911A1 to the head!

 

[VicMackey]

My sincere condolences for the loss of your Dog, My Staffie Max is getting old and l also fear being without him, he's all l have and he means the world to me, 3 months after he goes l will follow him via a 1911A1 to the head!

I feel your post in my heart. My dogs are my life. Dogs rule, people suck. Call me selfish or egotistical, no one cares about my dogs as much as me. When they leave this world, i will follow them. If only people were of the same quality beings as dogs......

 

[LONE WOLF.]

@VicMackey, 100% Agree, Dog's Rule! People Suck & Stink!!!

 

[qwertylmno]

I know what you mean, I felt this way for many years. I finally purchased my first gun as I was being stalked by a felon/registered sex offender (later convicted of stalking me). That was over 10 years ago and I have not turned it on myself yet. I also have acquired more guns since. Although, (especially lately as my dog just unexpectedly passed away and I can't stand living without him), I am sometimes tempted to turn it on myself, the main reasons why I don't are that:

-I don't want anyone to be traumatized from finding my body in that state
-My cousin killed himself by shooting himself in the head at 18 but he was not aware that there was another kid nearby who saw and called police and my cousin was life flighted to the hospital and on life support, where his parents had to make the decision to pull the plug.

I don't think it's the ideal way to go. So even though I want to die so bad, I don't consider it an option for me. But if I had N beside me, I would be long gone by now.

I'm not sure how i missed your comment but i'm really sorry all of that has happened. rip to your dog. have you thought about getting another one when you're ready? i don't have the energy in me to have a companion i'm obligated to take care of, but i've heard it's good for other people. i'm moving out soon and i really don't like dogs, no offense, but if my future roommate had one it would be a great deterrent to help me stay safe.
as to your cousin, wow. rip to them too. that's super harsh, i'm sorry to everyone in that situation. i never want to put people in positions like that either. i also picture my mom a lot, seeing me in a casket. it breaks my heart
like you, i'm also stalked. loosely, not as intensely, but still. she has broken into my house about 3 times, i've seen her drive past multiple times. the latest i've seen her drive past was about 3 days ago, and who knows how many times she has and i haven't seen her. sometimes she gets out of the car.

 

[Lost Magic]

If you live in a country that sells mace or a taser just get one of those instead. Simple. I live in the UK and most things are illegal to carry for protection. It's really terrible. I am only allowed to carry a red dye called farbgel to identify an attacker. It is a gloopy gel like substance so you can still spray in the eyes. If I lived in the US I would definitely have a tazer and mace. Tbh I don't think guns should be allowed by the average citizen because it cuts down on gun crime and mass shootings significantly. I should know. I live near, Dunblane, in Scotland. After that mass school shooting they clamped down heavily on gun ownership.

 

[VicMackey]

If you live in a country that sells mace or a taser just get one of those instead. Simple. I live in the UK and most things are illegal to carry for protection. It's really terrible. I am only allowed to carry a red dye called farbgel to identify an attacker. It is a gloopy gel like substance so you can still spray in the eyes. If I lived in the US I would definitely have a tazer and mace. Tbh I don't think guns should be allowed by the average citizen because it cuts down on gun crime and mass shootings significantly. I should know. I live near, Dunblane, in Scotland. After that mass school shooting they clamped down heavily on gun ownership.

Gun laws dont work. Its been proven. Many of the so called mass shootings have never happened here in the US. they were staged by method actors to push an agenda. The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.

 

[Lost Magic]

Gun laws dont work. Its been proven. Many of the so called mass shootings have never happened here in the US. they were staged by method actors to push an agenda. The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.

Oh please enough with the wild eyed conspiracy theories dude. So all your mass shootings are basically Hollywood stages? Yeah, okay. I guess you believe in Reptilians taking over the world and the hollow moon theories as well then? Come back to reality before it is too late.

 

[VicMackey]

Oh please enough with the wild eyed conspiracy theories dude. So all your mass shootings are basically Hollywood stages? Yeah, okay. I guess you believe in Reptilians taking over the world and the hollow moon theories as well then? Come back to reality before it is too late.

So......tell me. How many years have you been in law enforcement? Were you there for the staged shooting in colorado at the movie theatre? How much crime scene evidence have you processed? Have you ever been put on a gag order by your superiors and the FBI? i thought not. I guess you still believe 2 planes brought down the towers on 9/11???
Wake up to the world around you. Turn off the tv, get off the internet. Go see the world for yourself. Oh btw, i assume you think Joey won the election?

 

[Lost Magic]

So......tell me. How many years have you been in law enforcement? Were you there for the staged shooting in colorado at the movie theatre? How much crime scene evidence have you processed? Have you ever been put on a gag order by your superiors and the FBI? i thought not. I guess you still believe 2 planes brought down the towers on 9/11???
Wake up to the world around you. Turn off the tv, get off the internet. Go see the world for yourself. Oh btw, i assume you think Joey won the election?

How many years have you been in law enforcement and the rest? Seriously, wake the fuck up. You are sleeping at the wheel again with no clothes on. Are the flat earthers closed for the summer or what?

 

[VicMackey]

How many years have you been in law enforcement and the rest? Seriously, wake the fuck up. You are sleeping at the wheel again with no clothes on. Are the flat earthers closed for the summer or what?

31 years. Just recently retired. I understand your doubts. All you know is what the media tells you. You need to lay off the insults.
Sometime try and enter the world of law enforcement. I was doing a routine apprehension of a federal fugutive at the shopping mall across the street in aurora colorado when the "mass" shooting was being televised. Its never happened. Please, realize you need to open your eyes and wake up. Just because you think you know and believe does not make it reality....

 

[StupidLizard]

I've felt the very same way, too!

You are not alone in your thoughts and concerns. It means you understand yourself well enough to acknowledge your impulsiveness.