Alwaysbadtime

Alwaysbadtime

Enlightened
Jun 28, 2021
1,158
It's hard to believe I watched and enjoyed movies. Could watch them from the beginning to end and not think about my horrible future or eventual suicide.

I watch the same movies now and wish I had those free minutes back. When my brain didn't hurt like it was pressed and beaten.

I miss waching with my former semi-decent dude.

It's over. I'm ending it and I won't say good-bye. Ending it soon and I won't update my going.

I'm old enough...much older than a lot. I have known it to be over since 2008, but I still could watch until 2015 in safety.

Wish it could have been different and I could have been Blake Liveley in The Savages with 2 hot boyfriends and a bunch of money...in archetectual cool shit.
 
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logan

logan

Warlock
May 20, 2021
705
I can well understand your thoughts.

Unfortunately, you can't bring back the past. Only the beautiful memories remain.

I hope you find other things that make you happy again.
 
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Alwaysbadtime

Alwaysbadtime

Enlightened
Jun 28, 2021
1,158
I can well understand your thoughts.

Unfortunately, you can't bring back the past. Only the beautiful memories remain.

I hope you find other things that make you happy again.
I've told you this before....I don't want to hear your positive rhetoric. I'm ignoring you...and I think reporting you. Please stop doing this to me and other people.
 
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motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,086
I can't believe he said that to you of all people lol
Only the beautiful memories remain...
So life can use them as nails to crucify you time and time again!
 
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Alwaysbadtime

Alwaysbadtime

Enlightened
Jun 28, 2021
1,158
I can't believe he said that to you of all people lol
Only the beautiful memories remain...
So life can use them as nails to crucify you time and time again!
I know. I have told him multiple times not to do this kind of shit. It's really bizarre and shitty. I literally say everything went to complete and utter shit in 2015. WTF. I am ignoring him now. I don't understand him as he says shit like he feels trapped.

Multiple triggers in his comment. Gee thanks.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
37,207
I understand that it is painful to think about how things were better in the past. When I think about past times it just emphasises how bad things are now. I do not see memories as beautiful. I cannot enjoy movies or anything like that now, it is hard to concentrate. I get that it is an awful feeling to be in a hopeless situation, life can just be so disappointing.
 
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Life sucks

Visionary
Apr 18, 2018
2,136
I miss when I was playing and enjoying things while forgetting about the world. Unfortunately time is always moving and we can't experience the memories again, life is inherently faulty.
 
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Sakura94

empty
Nov 26, 2020
673
Yeah there is a taint over a lot of things I try to enjoy like books and movies. I think part of movies, books, tvshows is that you always trick yourself into engaging mentally with them but you don't make the effort after you're suicidal.

I play video games mainly now because it's just motor functions. Platform games are best for me.
 
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myechan

myechan

Member
Jul 26, 2021
5
I haven't felt safe in a long time. Every moment has a background disappointment to it. Can't wait for it to end
 
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