kipper
Member
- Mar 11, 2023
- 33
I met him when we were still kids. We dated for 5 years. It's been a year and I thought I came to accept everything but for the past few days I have been hurting about our breakup all over again.
It was a mutual breakup. We were having issues that werent resolving no matter how many converstions were had. After talking things out a last time, we decided we have just grown to have different needs that we couldnt give each other.
I miss him though and still love him. I didnt just lose a lover, I lost a best friend. We still talk sometimes but we arent close like before, our chats are brief and rare. I miss so much of what we had.
I cant help but feel maybe if I had been able to express myself better maybe things would have gone differently and I would still have him. I feel like I let him down. Like maybe the distance that began to grow was because I didnt approach anything the right way.
Truth is, despite my attempts to move on and despite that I did for a time feel alright, life feels emptier without him. I have experienced so much in this past year that I can say are a positive! But right now, I wish he got to be there with me through it.
There's still so much I wish I did and said but I cant change the past. I dont even know if reaching out and trying to share those things would be worth it, so I havent. I dont want to cause conflict or be that clingy ex who just wont move on. He's respected my boundaries I set even still, I dont want to end up accidentally crossing his... I dont want to end up saying something I cant go back from and have him out of my life entirely. I dont even know if he would want to hear these words I want to say. I dont expect it to bring him back, I think he already has someone else (nothing stated but they act like they're together), I just... want closure, I guess.
I dont know when things will stop hurting. I dont know when I will finally make peace with this for good. It's hard.
It was a mutual breakup. We were having issues that werent resolving no matter how many converstions were had. After talking things out a last time, we decided we have just grown to have different needs that we couldnt give each other.
I miss him though and still love him. I didnt just lose a lover, I lost a best friend. We still talk sometimes but we arent close like before, our chats are brief and rare. I miss so much of what we had.
I cant help but feel maybe if I had been able to express myself better maybe things would have gone differently and I would still have him. I feel like I let him down. Like maybe the distance that began to grow was because I didnt approach anything the right way.
Truth is, despite my attempts to move on and despite that I did for a time feel alright, life feels emptier without him. I have experienced so much in this past year that I can say are a positive! But right now, I wish he got to be there with me through it.
There's still so much I wish I did and said but I cant change the past. I dont even know if reaching out and trying to share those things would be worth it, so I havent. I dont want to cause conflict or be that clingy ex who just wont move on. He's respected my boundaries I set even still, I dont want to end up accidentally crossing his... I dont want to end up saying something I cant go back from and have him out of my life entirely. I dont even know if he would want to hear these words I want to say. I dont expect it to bring him back, I think he already has someone else (nothing stated but they act like they're together), I just... want closure, I guess.
I dont know when things will stop hurting. I dont know when I will finally make peace with this for good. It's hard.
