I might ctb today

[JustABunchOfAtoms]

I might ctb via train

 

[BehindTheWall]

No matter what your decision is, I hope you'Il find peace. <3

 

[JustABunchOfAtoms]

I just wonder if I'll have enough time before the police etc look for me. I'm beside a quite empty train hault but if there's people there...

 

[Sensei]

Only you know what's best for you, but are you sure you want to do this? To me, it seems like you're hesitant. Wouldn't it be better to wait until you're 100 % sure this is what you want to do? The option to catch the bus won't disappear in the meantime.

 

[JustABunchOfAtoms]

Well I'm still in hospital. I worry that I'll get caught and if I get caught, I don't know if I'll have a "pass" or get out of hospital. And if I don't have a pass, the options to ctb are limited.

But if it's successful... (Grinning emoji for those using TtS). Then amazing!
Does anyone know the chances of getting caught?

 

[WornOutLife]

I see you're in a hospital. Well, it'll be difficult to get to the train I think but you decide which is the best.
Are they having you in hospital for a long time? Because if not, you wait until they set you free and then choose a less deadly method. Just my opinion.
Anyway, wish you good luck and hope you can find peace soon.

 

[Sensei]

Well I'm still in hospital. I worry that I'll get caught and if I get caught, I don't know if I'll have a "pass" or get out of hospital. And if I don't have a pass, the options to ctb are limited.

But if it's successful... (Grinning emoji for those using TtS). Then amazing!
Does anyone know the chances of getting caught?

You won't stay in hospital forever, now will you? This is arguably the most important decision of your life, so you shouldn't rush it. May I ask why you're in hospital?

 

[JustABunchOfAtoms]

It won't be difficult to find a train hault. The hospital is literally beside a train track. It's whether there's people there or not.
I've been there since July and I'm losing weight so I might need a feeding tube (AGAIN!)
Thanks (thumb up emoji)

You won't stay in hospital forever, now will you? This is arguably the most important decision of your life, so you shouldn't rush it. May I ask why you're in hospital?

I'm in hospital for trying to ctb by jumping in front of traffic.
I'm not rushing the decision, I've been wanting to ctb everyday since July

 

[Kramer]

Having your body cut up on the tracks is horrifying

 

[Sensei]

I'm in hospital for trying to ctb by jumping in front of traffic.
I'm not rushing the decision, I've been wanting to ctb everyday since July

Would you at least consider waiting so that you can use another method? It happens that people survive jumping in front of trains and get severely maimed. Also, consider that the train driver will suffer psychological trauma and in the worst-case scenario even PTSD.

 

[JustABunchOfAtoms]

I can't wait. It doesn't look like I'm getting out soon. This is an opportunity! And people say it's relatively painless.
Plus this method is more conventional. People won't suspect I am/was a member of "an evil suicide fourm"

 

[Sensei]

People won't suspect I am/was a member of "an evil suicide fourm"

Who cares about that? What's important is the question, is this really the right time for you to go through with it?

 

[JustABunchOfAtoms]

1. I do because I don't want this site getting taken down. If my mum find out she'll go all mama bear and do everything in her power to get this site taken down. And there are already people trying to do that.
2. Yes. Why are you trying to encourage me not to ctb, are you a pro-lifer?

 

[StateOfMind]

In what country are they holding you?
How long can they hold you?
My method is also train.
You might want to do some trainspotting to ensure the train you choose is fast enough if you are going for blunt force trauma (collision).
I wouldn't risk decap unless you have balls of steel.
Chances of moving and loosing limbs makes this method less interesting of me.
Which is why I'm going for blunt corce.

 

[JustABunchOfAtoms]

1. Northern Ireland, UK
2. As long as they consider me a risk to myself
3. How fast does it have to be?
4. Is blunt corce jumping in front of the train?

 

[x~Sophia~x]

From the very onset of this post OP, it doesn't seem to me that you're at all serious about ctb at the moment. Your post title - "I MIGHT ctb today". What's that all about? I'm pretty sure most of us feel we'd like to ctb today, every time we wake up in a morning, but we don't post about it, unless we have planned it to a fine art and are totally, 100 % certain we are going to attempt to ctb.
You don't even know the basics of what you are thinking of attempting and you're still asking questions of others about your chosen method.

Also, have you considered what lasting effects your method would have on others who have to witness it? It doesn't sound to me that you've even thought about it, which is really selfish in my opinion.

Perhaps you should serve your time and when you're discharged, do some research on different methods... because if you don't manage to ctb and you're left without the use of your limbs, you'll regret your half assed attempt, BIG time!!

 

[Spitfire]

I might ctb via train

I hope you make a good decision.

I do not know much about this method, but the repercussions look bad if it fails. It seems there are a few ways to go about doing it with a couple of factors to consider...

I think it sounds like a risky thing to try and do in your situation, without having much of/or any proper planning.

I do not like the idea of directly involving other people either.. It sounds as though you have already considered this factor, and you are okay with that?

 

[Kruger]

1. I do because I don't want this site getting taken down. If my mum find out she'll go all mama bear and do everything in her power to get this site taken down. And there are already people trying to do that.
2. Yes. Why are you trying to encourage me not to ctb, are you a pro-lifer?

You sound like you want to pick a fight - if you're still asking questions about the speed of the train it's clear you aren't serious and haven't thought it through.

 

[degeneratewaste]

hi, OP. I would first like to preface this response with: no, I am not a pro-lifer, and I would not like to talk you out of anything that is best for you. however, you need to reconsider this - not because I'm trying to talk you out of dying, but because without planning, this simply will not be likely to work, and if it doesn't, you will be in a worse spot than you already are.

firstly, you are already in hospital. if you escape or suddenly demand release to try to execute this plan, it will be suspicious and you will have a lot of attention brought to you as people will be trying to find you. clearly, this is not ideal if you are trying to kill yourself successfully.

secondly, if you want to ctb by train, you at least sort of need to know the times, and have a secluded enough area so that you won't be seen. this requires planning that you clearly have not done. if you wait too long because you don't know the times, in a place where you may be seen, there's your express ticket back to hospital. I hate the train method, personally, but if you are going to do it then you at least have to have this knowledge as a baseline.

I really do not want to come off as pro-life here. but you seem so desperate. and while desperation is a good motivator, it inhibits clear thinking. if you want to be successful in ctb, you have got to wait and plan rationally. I am not trying to talk you out of this, just trying to help you. I really feel that it is better if you just wait this one out, OP.

that said, I'm sorry you are in hospital, and that you are feeling so much pain. I really hope you get set free soon.

 

[StateOfMind]

1. Northern Ireland, UK
2. As long as they consider me a risk to myself
3. How fast does it have to be?
4. Is blunt corce jumping in front of the train?

1. Are you detained indefinitely under the mental health act?
2. Say your feeling better and not a risk to others or yourself and exhibit "normal" behavior. Don't be weird or try to escape.
3. On average trains that pass through reach around 125-150 mph (201-241 kmph). That should more than enough to destroy you. Avoid bullet trains when its is wet. You don't want to be flung into the air.
4. Yes, simply getting hit by the front engine.

 

[JustABunchOfAtoms]

From the very onset of this post OP, it doesn't seem to me that you're at all serious about ctb at the moment. Your post title - "I MIGHT ctb today". What's that all about? I'm pretty sure most of us feel we'd like to ctb today, every time we wake up in a morning, but we don't post about it, unless we have planned it to a fine art and are totally, 100 % certain we are going to attempt to ctb.
You don't even know the basics of what you are thinking of attempting and you're still asking questions of others about your chosen method.

Also, have you considered what lasting effects your method would have on others who have to witness it? It doesn't sound to me that you've even thought about it, which is really selfish in my opinion.

Perhaps you should serve your time and when you're discharged, do some research on different methods... because if you don't manage to ctb and you're left without the use of your limbs, you'll regret your half assed attempt, BIG time!!

I have thought about it. And it doesn't matter to me because it's my only method.

I'm not going to be discharged any time soon.

hi, OP. I would first like to preface this response with: no, I am not a pro-lifer, and I would not like to talk you out of anything that is best for you. however, you need to reconsider this - not because I'm trying to talk you out of dying, but because without planning, this simply will not be likely to work, and if it doesn't, you will be in a worse spot than you already are.

firstly, you are already in hospital. if you escape or suddenly demand release to try to execute this plan, it will be suspicious and you will have a lot of attention brought to you as people will be trying to find you. clearly, this is not ideal if you are trying to kill yourself successfully.

secondly, if you want to ctb by train, you at least sort of need to know the times, and have a secluded enough area so that you won't be seen. this requires planning that you clearly have not done. if you wait too long because you don't know the times, in a place where you may be seen, there's your express ticket back to hospital. I hate the train method, personally, but if you are going to do it then you at least have to have this knowledge as a baseline.

I really do not want to come off as pro-life here. but you seem so desperate. and while desperation is a good motivator, it inhibits clear thinking. if you want to be successful in ctb, you have got to wait and plan rationally. I am not trying to talk you out of this, just trying to help you. I really feel that it is better if you just wait this one out, OP.

that said, I'm sorry you are in hospital, and that you are feeling so much pain. I really hope you get set free soon.

I don't need to escape. I just need to say that I'm going out on pass.

I can just look up the times with the Translink app. And the hault tells me when the next train is.

Why do I come across desperate?

1. Are you detained indefinitely under the mental health act?
2. Say your feeling better and not a risk to others or yourself and exhibit "normal" behavior. Don't be weird or try to escape.
3. On average trains that pass through reach around 125-150 mph (201-241 kmph). That should more than enough to destroy you. Avoid bullet trains when its is wet. You don't want to be flung into the air.
4. Yes, simply getting hit by the front engine.

1. No the Mental Capitacy Order (Northern Ireland)
2. I wasn't going to anyway. The only thing that my consultant says is keeping me here is my weight and waiting on accommodation
3. I was going to wait on an express train because they go a lot faster
4. Why do you think that's better than the tracks?

 

[degeneratewaste]

Why do I come across desperate?

"I can't wait. It doesn't look like I'm getting out soon." seems pretty desperate.

 

[JustABunchOfAtoms]

Wouldn't you be desperate if you had no method to ctb with since July?

 

[StateOfMind]

4. Why do you think that's better than the tracks?

It's a personal preference.
The train I plan to catch is on no timetable (and comes around the same time every evening) and seems to be fast enough.

 

[StuFin]

might = won't.

Nothing to be ashamed of in that, but if you have decided I will - you still might back out - nothing to be ashamed of in that either.

I might = I need some love.

You've come to the right place, you'll get lots here from people who understand.

 

[JustABunchOfAtoms]

The only reason I put "might" and not "will" was because of the risk of getting caught and sent back to hospital. Not because of how much I want to ctb

It's a personal preference.

What are the pros and cons of each?
Also it's rush hour (sobbing emoji)
Update: There were too many people at the train hault so I have to wait until tomorrow

I'm definitely going ahead with it tomorrow so if you have any tips on how I don't loose limbs, or any videos to show me please post them

 

[Meditation guide]

because if you don't manage to ctb and you're left without the use of your limbs, you'll regret your half assed attempt, BIG time!!

I agree the train method is full of risks. I'm hoping all goes well for you OP and you get out of the place you're in in one piece.