Venting I made SN and i feel happy again

[jazzcat621]

For weeks ive been completely numb. Nothing brought me pleasure. Sex, drugs, friends, it all meant nothing to me. Last night though I decided to finally make the SN I was going to make a while ago. Did it by combining carbon and sodium nitrate with a blow torch (Full write up coming later :3). Having done this though, I feel happy again. Like chasing after suicide made me feel something more than complete numbness. I dont know how long this will last but it feels kinda silly having to take steps to end my life just so I can live it.

 

[mysticatedwine]

that's good to hear! i guess bending over the edge every once in a while helps us realize that there's a world of emotions to be experienced, and makes us feel alive for a bit

 

[harry nancy]

Looking forward to your write up.