i m going to attempt in 2 days

[overthegard3nwall]

i have arrived a week ago at my grandpa's mansion. last time i was here i had the same thoughts i have now but by staying alone and meditating i was actually able to survive and keep going with my life, i really think this time i won't. like last time i tried to detox my brain from all the stress and addictions(my phone, ecig, weed) and focused only on myself, i spent my days reading swimming meditating and having all kinda of thoughts about my life. i think that the majority of people that know me would not understand why i want to end my life, from an outside point of view i had an excellent life, i am aware that i was very lucky to be born in a wealthy family , but i just cannot live anymore. my life is just completely destroyed. last time i was here my brother was with me, even tho he did not know my intentions he knew that my life was falling a part and he was very supportive. he did not made me forget my thoughts but thanks to him i did not put them to reality. about the method i m going to do, i think i will stick to try to drown myself in the pool. i have read lots of interesting article and post on here about drowning. my method consist in falling unc while underwater and while being tied to something so that i m 100% i m going to die. to fall unc i m going to inale a deodorant while hyperventilating, then i m going to go underwater press a thumb against my mouth and blow. i have done some test and i m confident i can black out with this method. there is only one problem, i have to figure out how to tiè myself in a way so that i cannot reamerge. my pool is 10 feet deep so if i tiè myself to the bottom there is really no way i can reamerge not even if don't blackout. i was also thinking to just put some weights in a backpack and have it on me while i try to blackout but i think si would kick in. IF U NOTICE ANY FLAW IN MY METHOD OR HAVE SUGGESTIONS PLEASE WRITE THEM.

 

[brokenspirited]

Best wishes, I hope you're able to find relief from your suffering.