bloomingsicklecell

bloomingsicklecell

my first mistake was being born
Nov 3, 2024
7
Lately, I've been loving to fantasize about getting shot and bleeding out on the street. I imagine different locations, different people doing it (sometimes it's strangers, sometimes it's people I know), different circumstances, etc. A bullet strikes me, I feel a pang of pain, my legs get weak, I fall, there's a red spot on my white tank top growing bigger and bigger...as I lay in a huge blood puddle, I start feeling the metallic taste in my mouth. It hurts to breathe, but I feel ethereal. My consciousness is slowly leaving me along with the life itself. I see bright colors and sparkles flickering in front of me while I'm losing my vision. I'm powerless before it, and it's relieving, so I give myself up in the sweet embrace of death. I don't know how accurate my perception of this process is, but the idea of someone taking my life, and me having no control over it, is super comforting, and imagining this actually helps me fall asleep faster lol. Do any of you guys have similar thoughts and fantasies? Sorry for this corny rant, I just wanted to get it off my chest. God, I wish I was dead
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Redacted24, ninfanatic, Szarur-abi and 7 others
brickedup

brickedup

need that za
Oct 30, 2024
32
me everyday except its with different causes of death
 
  • Like
Reactions: bloomingsicklecell, Oobaar and davidtorez
dontwakemeup

dontwakemeup

Experienced
Nov 11, 2024
224
At this point I don't care how I go, I just want OUT! Every night is the same, I only dream of not waking up and slipping into eternity quietly. Everyday morning is the same, "Oh hell no, not ANOTHER day!" šŸ˜¢ and it keeps repeating...
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: bloomingsicklecell, Joarga and brickedup
quietpill

quietpill

I'm bleeding, I'm not just making conversation.
Nov 27, 2024
35
I've had very similar long-standing fantasies about this. I actually used to go out walking at night hoping it would happen, and got weirdly close. The idea of being mugged is so alluring, but focuses on being the victim of a stabbing rather than gunshot for me. I love the idea of a knife that slips in in quick succession, I imagine the cold night air numbing my cheeks when I hit the concrete and my mugger digging through my jacket and pockets for something only to find that I really have nothing except my ID and bank cards. How easy having it out of my hands and random would be, I very much relate to the clear-cut comfort of the idea.
 
  • Like
Reactions: bloomingsicklecell and brickedup
dust-in-the-wind

dust-in-the-wind

Animal Lover
Aug 24, 2024
246
When I was younger I fantasized about slitting my wrists and peacefully bleeding out in the bath tub.
 
  • Like
Reactions: OnMyLast Legs and bloomingsicklecell
Fire&Ash

Fire&Ash

Experienced
Apr 15, 2020
254
Lately, I've been loving to fantasize about getting shot and bleeding out on the street. I imagine different locations, different people doing it (sometimes it's strangers, sometimes it's people I know), different circumstances, etc. A bullet strikes me, I feel a pang of pain, my legs get weak, I fall, there's a red spot on my white tank top growing bigger and bigger...as I lay in a huge blood puddle, I start feeling the metallic taste in my mouth. It hurts to breathe, but I feel ethereal. My consciousness is slowly leaving me along with the life itself. I see bright colors and sparkles flickering in front of me while I'm losing my vision. I'm powerless before it, and it's relieving, so I give myself up in the sweet embrace of death. I don't know how accurate my perception of this process is, but the idea of someone taking my life, and me having no control over it, is super comforting, and imagining this actually helps me fall asleep faster lol. Do any of you guys have similar thoughts and fantasies? Sorry for this corny rant, I just wanted to get it off my chest. God, I wish I was dead
Ya I have had fantasies of me getting into a fatal car accident or have a terminal illness or something. Hell I've hoped I could hire someone to shoot me cuz I'm done. It's better for my fam for me to die by something else than suicide but whateve
 
  • Like
Reactions: bloomingsicklecell
A

affirmatice

Student
Aug 31, 2024
144
Gunshot is not my chosen method. Yet I fantasize about it too.

Crazy because I never once thought I would be in a position where I wanted to die. The thoughts just came naturally.

I have fantasies where I die for a good cause. Where I take a bullet to save the world. Where it's either me or my girlfriend that needs to get shot. And I bravely volunteer to save her.

I don't know why I think these ways. Maybe because at least I can die for a good cause. But no, nothing good about this, just sad pain and suffering and a death with no happy ending.
 
  • Like
Reactions: OnMyLast Legs and bloomingsicklecell
ScaredOfMachines

ScaredOfMachines

I am who I am
Nov 8, 2024
78
I similar fantasies often. Every time I go out someplace I hope it's that the day that I get caught up in a crime of some sort and end up a casualty of that. A robbery gone wrong, someone forgetting to hit the brake when I cross the street, etc. It bring me comfort too, like there's some ray of hope that things might end for me soon and I won't have to lift a finger.

Lately, I've been loving to fantasize about getting shot and bleeding out on the street. I imagine different locations, different people doing it (sometimes it's strangers, sometimes it's people I know), different circumstances, etc. A bullet strikes me, I feel a pang of pain, my legs get weak, I fall, there's a red spot on my white tank top growing bigger and bigger...as I lay in a huge blood puddle, I start feeling the metallic taste in my mouth. It hurts to breathe, but I feel ethereal. My consciousness is slowly leaving me along with the life itself. I see bright colors and sparkles flickering in front of me while I'm losing my vision. I'm powerless before it, and it's relieving, so I give myself up in the sweet embrace of death. I don't know how accurate my perception of this process is, but the idea of someone taking my life, and me having no control over it, is super comforting, and imagining this actually helps me fall asleep faster lol. Do any of you guys have similar thoughts and fantasies? Sorry for this corny rant, I just wanted to get it off my chest. God, I wish I was dead

Your descriptions extremely vivid and detailed, are all your fantasies like that? It doesn't sound corny at all.
 
  • Like
Reactions: bloomingsicklecell
C

crocune

Member
Nov 27, 2024
6
Yeah I fantasize about my plane or train crashing so I can ctb but it being out of my control.

When I was a kid it was cars but it wasn't so I could die but so I could avoid what was happening around me

Now it's so I can die tho
 
  • Like
Reactions: bloomingsicklecell
LostLily

LostLily

Why do I exist?
Nov 18, 2024
185
Imaging my death gives me a strange comfort
 
  • Like
Reactions: bloomingsicklecell
render

render

Member
Sep 3, 2024
54
i do it because i think it'd be nice if someone did the deed for me instead of me havin to spend my own money and time doing it myself. they'd really just be doing me a favor
 
  • Like
Reactions: bloomingsicklecell
isolatedl111

isolatedl111

Experienced
Nov 25, 2024
200
Lately, I've been loving to fantasize about getting shot and bleeding out on the street. I imagine different locations, different people doing it (sometimes it's strangers, sometimes it's people I know), different circumstances, etc. A bullet strikes me, I feel a pang of pain, my legs get weak, I fall, there's a red spot on my white tank top growing bigger and bigger...as I lay in a huge blood puddle, I start feeling the metallic taste in my mouth. It hurts to breathe, but I feel ethereal. My consciousness is slowly leaving me along with the life itself. I see bright colors and sparkles flickering in front of me while I'm losing my vision. I'm powerless before it, and it's relieving, so I give myself up in the sweet embrace of death. I don't know how accurate my perception of this process is, but the idea of someone taking my life, and me having no control over it, is super comforting, and imagining this actually helps me fall asleep faster lol. Do any of you guys have similar thoughts and fantasies? Sorry for this corny rant, I just wanted to get it off my chest. God, I wish I was dead
It's an attractive way to go out for some
 
  • Like
Reactions: bloomingsicklecell
Szarur-abi

Szarur-abi

I Useless dipsh*t I
Apr 25, 2024
29
I dont want to die by gunshot in anyway, it just seems too drastic for me.

that being said i have thoughts for months imaging myself with a revolver, putting it in my mouth and pulling the triger and then hearing the gunshot and seeing my brain splattered on walls while blood drips from my head on the floor and i lay here dead while my muscles soften and i become like a puppet... Its very vivid imagery

I know its weird and not normal, i just have these thoughts especially when suicidal thoughts increase but its weird cause my chosen method for potential CTB is SN not by a gun.
 
  • Like
Reactions: bloomingsicklecell
bloomingsicklecell

bloomingsicklecell

my first mistake was being born
Nov 3, 2024
7
At this point I don't care how I go, I just want OUT! Every night is the same, I only dream of not waking up and slipping into eternity quietly. Everyday morning is the same, "Oh hell no, not ANOTHER day!" šŸ˜¢ and it keeps repeating...
oh yeah, I know what you're saying. when I wake up, I immediately rush to do something to keep myself busy and not think of how disappointing it is that I woke up alive
Gunshot is not my chosen method. Yet I fantasize about it too.

Crazy because I never once thought I would be in a position where I wanted to die. The thoughts just came naturally.

I have fantasies where I die for a good cause. Where I take a bullet to save the world. Where it's either me or my girlfriend that needs to get shot. And I bravely volunteer to save her.

I don't know why I think these ways. Maybe because at least I can die for a good cause. But no, nothing good about this, just sad pain and suffering and a death with no happy ending.
dying for a good cause would actually be so great. at least I'd know that there was something good about my death and it benefited someone
I similar fantasies often. Every time I go out someplace I hope it's that the day that I get caught up in a crime of some sort and end up a casualty of that. A robbery gone wrong, someone forgetting to hit the brake when I cross the street, etc. It bring me comfort too, like there's some ray of hope that things might end for me soon and I won't have to lift a finger.



Your descriptions extremely vivid and detailed, are all your fantasies like that? It doesn't sound corny at all.
yeah, I fantasize about many things, and I've always been told I have vivid imagination haha. I do fantasize a lot about dying specifically, it's the only thing that brings me comfort these days, unfortunately
i do it because i think it'd be nice if someone did the deed for me instead of me havin to spend my own money and time doing it myself. they'd really just be doing me a favor
agreed, too bad it'd be illegal even with my consent
 
Last edited:
ninfanatic

ninfanatic

anorexic suicide messiah.
Jul 3, 2024
78
i've fantasized about paying someone to kill me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: bloomingsicklecell

Similar threads

ayla
Replies
20
Views
896
Suicide Discussion
TragedyBornCrimson
TragedyBornCrimson
toxicjester
Replies
7
Views
392
Suicide Discussion
toxicjester
toxicjester
iDesireDeath
Replies
1
Views
162
Suicide Discussion
JustSomeWeirdo
JustSomeWeirdo
fellofdarknotday
Replies
18
Views
530
Recovery
beseechgod
beseechgod