bloomingsicklecell
my first mistake was being born
- Nov 3, 2024
- 7
Lately, I've been loving to fantasize about getting shot and bleeding out on the street. I imagine different locations, different people doing it (sometimes it's strangers, sometimes it's people I know), different circumstances, etc. A bullet strikes me, I feel a pang of pain, my legs get weak, I fall, there's a red spot on my white tank top growing bigger and bigger...as I lay in a huge blood puddle, I start feeling the metallic taste in my mouth. It hurts to breathe, but I feel ethereal. My consciousness is slowly leaving me along with the life itself. I see bright colors and sparkles flickering in front of me while I'm losing my vision. I'm powerless before it, and it's relieving, so I give myself up in the sweet embrace of death. I don't know how accurate my perception of this process is, but the idea of someone taking my life, and me having no control over it, is super comforting, and imagining this actually helps me fall asleep faster lol. Do any of you guys have similar thoughts and fantasies? Sorry for this corny rant, I just wanted to get it off my chest. God, I wish I was dead