It is mainly due to the recent trauma which left me weaker, I don't the current version of myself as worthy of success and it would be significantly harder to get to success anyways
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lost in the lilies
Member
- Oct 22, 2025
- 54
I feel the same way. I used to have a lot of drive and ambition. I can still remember when I actually felt eager to wake up so I could work on things. I had so much motivation and even when things went wrong I was actually able to just deal with them or shrug them off quite easily. But it's like everything that could have ever gone wrong did so. I used to love wondering what the next few months or years might have in store, but now, even thinking about tomorrow feels overwhelming. I feel like a husk or a shell, like life has successfully done away with all of my confidence, self-esteem or worth. I'm pretty much repulsed by my own existence. Shame & embarrassment are pretty much all I feel now. It's hard to strive for success when it has been ingrained in my brain time & time again that it just isn't possible, at least not for me. I'm sorry you've found yourself in this state :(
Beautifully stated. Every word of it. It's sad that it's for something so tragic.
