Venting I lost all desire to socialize a long time ago and I don’t feel like myself anymore

[Journeytoletgo]

Relationships are very important. I was homeschooled. I never developed basic social skills as a result. I was constantly abused and bullied by my parents. Even when I moved out I still let others treat me like shit because I had no concept of personal boundaries.

Your parents pretty much determine 90% of your life's outcome. How they raised you, the genetics they pass down to you, the types of opportunities you will have, etc.

Yes they very much are. Same here never learned these things except I wasn't home schooled. It sucks to know you relate to this no one should have to experience this as a social being. I agree they do determine it, I got extremely unlucky which destroyed any chance of building social bonds my life is ruined and it's too late in my late 20s to make up for the mishaps.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Yes they very much are. Same here never learned these things except I wasn't home schooled. It sucks to know you relate to this no one should have to experience this as a social being. I agree they do determine it, I got extremely unlucky which destroyed any chance of building social bonds my life is ruined and it's too late in my late 20s to make up for the mishaps.

I love how you are expected to overcome all obstacles in life and be happy to simply exist. Your 20s is supposed to be the best time in your life but if this is the peak, I don't want to find out what comes after.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I love how you are expected to overcome all obstacles in life and be happy to simply exist. Your 20s is supposed to be the best time in your life but if this is the peak, I don't want to find out what comes after.

I agree I'm absolutely terrified for my 30s better get out soon but SI I hope I succeed on my birthday because I truly have no future socially and financially

 

[eternalmelancholy]

I agree I'm absolutely terrified for my 30s better get out soon but SI I hope I succeed on my birthday because I truly have no future socially and financially

I am leaving soon. I already waited around for the past decade hoping things will improve. Things only got worse.

It sucks that I am forced into this position in the first place. I resent the fact that I have to kill myself to relieve my suffering. Suffering caused by other people.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I am leaving soon. I already waited around for the past decade hoping things will improve. Things only got worse.

It sucks that I am forced into this position in the first place. I resent the fact that I have to kill myself to relieve my suffering. Suffering caused by other people.

Yup. A decade LONG overdue. If you don't have your brain/mental health or physical health it is OVER to pursue life.

 

[LADY007]

I lost this desire a long time ago. I hide in my room and don't want to interact it gives me horrible anxiety, I'm also miserable so I stay away from people, incurable acne has destroyed my looks and social development I want out of this miserable cursed life. I can never be satisfied with this

There must be something for acne... Have you tried Aloe Vera gel straight from the leaf ? Or research if there are any vitamins that help?

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I am literally emotionally NUMB. If I had method at age 14 I would have done it no question man I miss that zesty feeling for life and bravery it's really time to get out of here I'm tired

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Can you imagine tasting normalcy and then have it robbed from you? This is too long to suffer 14-15 years of torment of blind foolishness for everyone else

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Then you have lost your connection.
That's about the worst thing that can happen.

It takes a long time to rebuild it.
But it is possible if you are aware of it and seek and accept help.
Maybe medication can help for a short time - but often it only covers up underlying problems.

No medications

However yes this is where everything went to hell for me

There must be something for acne... Have you tried Aloe Vera gel straight from the leaf ? Or research if there are any vitamins that help?

I tried a lot of stuff at this point I have skin damage I gave up

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I use to be so much more social before him. He threw off my entire 20s. I wish I didn't sit around being depressed about my skin and just accepted it and never dated EVER or been exposed to porn or masturbation or online dating. I had my entire uni career ahead of me. And so many social events but it got ruined and I lost out on 7 years of social experience then when nice guys invite me out when I go out I can't even do that because I fear them now because the first man I met was so cruel. My path would have been so much different if I never been exposed to online dating, porn and masturbation. I would have cut off those toxic friends I didn't align with and who were exploiting my kindness and weakness and I would have went my separate way. I would have studied hard in UNI, been honest about my skin and worked on my social skills a bit and stayed a virgin it wasn't worth the traumatic 3 events with men. I'm so behind my peers socially I lost like 7 years of social experience. People pick up on my slow responses

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I lost this desire a long time ago. I hide in my room and don't want to interact it gives me horrible anxiety, I'm also miserable so I stay away from people, incurable acne has destroyed my looks and social development I want out of this miserable cursed life. I can never be satisfied with this

I'm doing the same thing. But now I am going to school so it's like I'm forced to interact with people. I want to believe I can live a happy live just by my lonesome but there's a nagging feeling from everybody around me that that is not the case, and that there is only one proper way to live. I just hope you know that you are not alone, and there's plenty of people on this website alone who relate to your position. I can't speak on the behalf of everyone, but I want to say that you can make friends here - if you would like.