Venting I lost all desire to socialize a long time ago and I don’t feel like myself anymore

[Journeytoletgo]

I lost this desire a long time ago. I hide in my room and don't want to interact it gives me horrible anxiety, I'm also miserable so I stay away from people, incurable acne has destroyed my looks and social development I want out of this miserable cursed life. I can never be satisfied with this

 

[cytokinestorm]

SSRIs can help with social anxiety. I find the more you avoid people, the harder it is to interact when you do. I'm practically a hermit, but I have to interact with the others in the house.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

SSRIs can help with social anxiety. I find the more you avoid people, the harder it is to interact when you do. I'm practically a hermit, but I have to interact with the others in the house.

I interact with my family I can't interact with strangers and build relationships/friendship because I'm not attractive enough. It sucks

 

[FuneralCry]

This life really can be cruel. Factors out of our control can ruin our lives. I also think socializing requires energy as well, and I have never had that really, I have always found it hard work. I spend my whole life avoiding others.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

This life really can be cruel. Factors out of our control can ruin our lives. I also think socializing requires energy as well, and I have never had that really, I have always found it hard work. I spend my whole life avoiding others.

Me too. It's just too much stress and energy. I'll interact with my family and distant relatives however even that is becoming tiring

 

[JustAnumber]

dealing with people can be horrible unfortunately. Im sure any introverts on here can back me up on that one!

 

[heretogethelp]

I lost this desire a long time ago. I hide in my room and don't want to interact it gives me horrible anxiety, I'm also miserable so I stay away from people, incurable acne has destroyed my looks and social development I want out of this miserable cursed life. I can never be satisfied with this

I feel completely empty, too. Welcome to the club.

 

[demuic]

I don't even know what would be like to "feel like myself." I've been sad and felt useless for so long I don't remember what anything else is like.

 

[Largeletters]

I'm sorry, I understand. Oftentimes I have people wanting to call me but it's hard to get the motivation to put on a happy mask. I'd rather spare myself and others the trouble.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Yeah I have social anxiety, and I'm just awkward and don't want to bother people, beside I find conversations exhausting and too much work. Must be nice to get energy from others and be care free I miss that feeling it died 14 years ago I haven't felt connected to people in years I'm exhausted from all of this and not being able to relate

 

[fullofregrets]

I can relate to you and feel your pain. Social anxiety and permanent acne scars on top of that has made my life miserable. I have active acne too. Honestly I can't understand how people say acne & scars makes you strong and stuff. It has done absolutely nothing than crush my life and wanting to get out asap.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I can relate to you and feel your pain. Social anxiety and permanent acne scars on top of that has made my life miserable. I have active acne too. Honestly I can't understand how people say acne & scars makes you strong and stuff. It has done absolutely nothing than crush my life and wanting to get out asap.

We're you also bullied because of it? I'm seeing a strong correlation with acne and acne scarring that causes misery

 

[fullofregrets]

We're you also bullied because of it? I'm seeing a strong correlation with acne and acne scarring that causes misery

A lot of people have hurt me and made remarks pointing to my acne scars. A part of me died when my brother brought it up in an argument. I haven't spoken to him well since. Even if people didnt't point out I can't seem to accept this thing and how it has shaped my life and prospects. Do people mention about it to you as well? And do you feel like you can just accept and move on? They say it becomes easy as we get older but for me it only gets worse day by day.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

A lot of people have hurt me and made remarks pointing to my acne scars. A part of me died when my brother brought it up in an argument. I haven't spoken to him well since. Even if people didnt't point out I can't seem to accept this thing and how it has shaped my life and prospects. Do people mention about it to you as well? And do you feel like you can just accept and move on? They say it becomes easy as we get older but for me it only gets worse day by day.

Me too! Their remarks really hurt and I became socially anxious and avoid people now. I can't digest and accept it either it makes me very miserable and feel excluded and isolated. Recently I had a hook up but he didn't mention it I know he seen it. Another guy saw it and asked if it was a rash. See this is why I don't like to interact with people.

I can never accept this, it's why I been miserable for 14 years. It doesn't my emotional and mental state are unbalanced because of the remarks of cruelty I received from others about it. I no longer feel comfortable around people and others because of these experiences. Anyway I'm sorry you experienced this in life as well, it definitely traumatized me and what I received from others because of my skin. It's one of the main reasons I'm going to CTB

 

[fullofregrets]

Me too! Their remarks really hurt and I became socially anxious and avoid people now. I can't digest and accept it either it makes me very miserable and feel excluded and isolated. Recently I had a hook up but he didn't mention it I know he seen it. Another guy saw it and asked if it was a rash. See this is why I don't like to interact with people.

I can never accept this, it's why I been miserable for 14 years. It doesn't my emotional and mental state are unbalanced because of the remarks of cruelty I received from others about it. I no longer feel comfortable around people and others because of these experiences. Anyway I'm sorry you experienced this in life as well, it definitely traumatized me and what I received from others because of my skin. It's one of the main reasons I'm going to CTB

You've been through a lot I can feel. You're pretty strong to have endured it for that long. Only if people were kinder to not hurt others. What you told makes sense. Even though adults don't make any remark, they can see it very well and judge. They can't help it either. I barely go out and when I do, I wear masks. But when everyone stops using masks, I can't hide behind my cover anymore. I can't show my face out to the world. I hope to be gone by then. It is the single biggest reason for me as well.

I open up only here. Do you express your feelings to anyone irl? Do they seem to understand? Do you also imagine how your life would be if not for this condition?

 

[logan]

Then you have lost your connection.
That's about the worst thing that can happen.

It takes a long time to rebuild it.
But it is possible if you are aware of it and seek and accept help.
Maybe medication can help for a short time - but often it only covers up underlying problems.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

You've been through a lot I can feel. You're pretty strong to have endured it for that long. Only if people were kinder to not hurt others. What you told makes sense. Even though adults don't make any remark, they can see it very well and judge. They can't help it either. I barely go out and when I do, I wear masks. But when everyone stops using masks, I can't hide behind my cover anymore. I can't show my face out to the world. I hope to be gone by then. It is the single biggest reason for me as well.

I open up only here. Do you express your feelings to anyone irl? Do they seem to understand? Do you also imagine how your life would be if not for this condition?

I'm so sorry you also go through this. I have not expressed these feelings for years it's why I been so depressed and miserable if only someone caught on during my teens I also don't open up about how I feel because if I do they will try to throw me in a psych ward and tell me "it gets better" and all that bs. I do imagine it would have been different I would feel more connected to humanity and not feel so isolated lonely and excluded and empty all the time .
My biggest regret because of this condition Is I wish I CTB during that time I regret staying alive so long only to suffer in more emotional pain and heartache. Acne destroys lives, and it really does things to your mental health when people make such mean rude comments about it like I remember the remarks people said to me in the past about it like "just drink water" people were so cruel. It all hurt at the time and I had know one to turn to to talk about these awful experiences. Unfortunately I'm at my end. I'm beyond tired and exhausted.
I'll never live a normal social fulfilling life

Then you have lost your connection.
That's about the worst thing that can happen.

It takes a long time to rebuild it.
But it is possible if you are aware of it and seek and accept help.
Maybe medication can help for a short time - but often it only covers up underlying problems.

Thank you. I been on antidepressants for years, it does indeed mask the issue and it doesn't solve it.

yes I am noticing I have lost connection to humanity and I'll never be the same after so many life awful events the only way is to die and be done with life and be at peace. It's too late unfortunately

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Yeah I just don't feel like talking anymore. I'm just so tired of everything. People have so much energy and I just don't

a list of all the things I lost desire for in life
-socializing
-marrying
-having children
-working

 

[Journeytoletgo]

It's sad because in childhood and my pre teens I use to like being around people but I don't anymore because I'm traumatized and people hurt me with their comments about my acne

 

[fullofregrets]

I'm so sorry you also go through this. I have not expressed these feelings for years it's why I been so depressed and miserable if only someone caught on during my teens I also don't open up about how I feel because if I do they will try to throw me in a psych ward and tell me "it gets better" and all that bs. I do imagine it would have been different I would feel more connected to humanity and not feel so isolated lonely and excluded and empty all the time .
My biggest regret because of this condition Is I wish I CTB during that time I regret staying alive so long only to suffer in more emotional pain and heartache. Acne destroys lives, and it really does things to your mental health when people make such mean rude comments about it like I remember the remarks people said to me in the past about it like "just drink water" people were so cruel. It all hurt at the time and I had know one to turn to to talk about these awful experiences. Unfortunately I'm at my end. I'm beyond tired and exhausted.
I'll never live a normal social fulfilling life

I understand. I feel better when I see someone in internet with issues I can relate to. No one irl seems to understand. They just be like man up and face the world. They just can't understand how anxiety and acne & scars feels like. It's just like I am the chosen unlucky one. Everyone around me seems to have clear skin. Yes it does hurt when we try all things we can to get rid of acne only to hear stupid advices from people who have no idea about it. I guess you went to doctors and how was the experience with them?

 

[zenn7]

This life really can be cruel. Factors out of our control can ruin our lives. I also think socializing requires energy as well, and I have never had that really, I have always found it hard work. I spend my whole life avoiding others.

Have you heard of Avoidant personality disorder?

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I understand. I feel better when I see someone in internet with issues I can relate to. No one irl seems to understand. They just be like man up and face the world. They just can't understand how anxiety and acne & scars feels like. It's just like I am the chosen unlucky one. Everyone around me seems to have clear skin. Yes it does hurt when we try all things we can to get rid of acne only to hear stupid advices from people who have no idea about it. I guess you went to doctors and how was the experience with them?

I am so sorry you have this burden because I know how painful it is to see everyone with beautiful clear skin and you have to carry the burden unlike others. I feel cursed and unlucky as well but oh well I'll be free soon from all these memories and experiences. That said. Yes I been to the dermatologist since 14 on and off giving me so many creams, so many antibiotics that didn't work. If someone just told me accutane could work and see if that worked at age 14 when this horrible disease ruined my life and social skills I would have had a chance and be social and care free like I was. I use to be so popular it's sad really.

 

[Mr2005]

I've been in lockdown far longer that most. After 18 months I was just getting started. Served a longer sentence than some people get for murder

 

[logan]

I'm so sorry you also go through this. I have not expressed these feelings for years it's why I been so depressed and miserable if only someone caught on during my teens I also don't open up about how I feel because if I do they will try to throw me in a psych ward and tell me "it gets better" and all that bs. I do imagine it would have been different I would feel more connected to humanity and not feel so isolated lonely and excluded and empty all the time .
My biggest regret because of this condition Is I wish I CTB during that time I regret staying alive so long only to suffer in more emotional pain and heartache. Acne destroys lives, and it really does things to your mental health when people make such mean rude comments about it like I remember the remarks people said to me in the past about it like "just drink water" people were so cruel. It all hurt at the time and I had know one to turn to to talk about these awful experiences. Unfortunately I'm at my end. I'm beyond tired and exhausted.
I'll never live a normal social fulfilling life

Thank you. I been on antidepressants for years, it does indeed mask the issue and it doesn't solve it.

yes I am noticing I have lost connection to humanity and I'll never be the same after so many life awful events the only way is to die and be done with life and be at peace. It's too late unfortunately

Maybe you will somehow manage to find your way back into life.
You could stop the medication if that is possible.
Maybe meditation will help you a little or moderate endurance training.

I know that this is infinitely difficult - but you could try it.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Maybe you will somehow manage to find your way back into life.
You could stop the medication if that is possible.
Maybe meditation will help you a little or moderate endurance training.

I know that this is infinitely difficult - but you could try it.

Nope. My fulfillment for life has been robbed since acne destroyed me. I don't desire this. The horrible experiences are there so I can't desire this life anymore after abuse verbally.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

everything I wish I knew


1. Get treated for acne at 14
2. Socialize and make new friends
3. Move out at 18
4. Study math and nursing really hardly 14-22
5. Stay away from the NEWS
6. Stay away from dating until financially established
7. Meditate, exercise, eat healthy ages 14+
8. Stay away from ALCOHOL
9. Do emdr therapy and somatic therapy

 

[eternalmelancholy]

SSRIs can help with social anxiety. I find the more you avoid people, the harder it is to interact when you do. I'm practically a hermit, but I have to interact with the others in the house.

Over the years I have become a recluse. I work from home and have everything delivered so I rarely leave my apartment. Once you are stuck in this loop it is very difficult to break free.

I don't wish this kind of lifestyle on anybody. Even if you are suicidal the best thing is to make the remaining time as pleasant as possible. Try not to go down this path if possible since it just makes everything much worse.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Over the years I have become a recluse. I work from home and have everything delivered so I rarely leave my apartment. Once you are stuck in this loop it is very difficult to break free.

I don't wish this kind of lifestyle on anybody. Even if you are suicidal the best thing is to make the remaining time as pleasant as possible. Try not to go down this path if possible since it just makes everything much worse.

I am so sorry for the pain. Living in isolation is lonely. How long have you been doing that for? I actually became reclusive 6 years ago unfortunately I'm stuck at home with parents and didn't get out quick enough another regret however I had so much fear of being attacked by others because of my skin condition I just stayed home. I'm completely trapped.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

It sucks because I truly didn't know how important it was to form social bonds on my temporary stay here as a human. I ruined every interaction the universe sends me :( I need to die

 

[eternalmelancholy]

It sucks because I truly didn't know how important it was to form social bonds on my temporary stay here as a human. I ruined every interaction the universe sends me :( I need to die

Relationships are very important. I was homeschooled. I never developed basic social skills as a result. I was constantly abused and bullied by my parents. Even when I moved out I still let others treat me like shit because I had no concept of personal boundaries.

Your parents pretty much determine 90% of your life's outcome. How they raised you, the genetics they pass down to you, the types of opportunities you will have, etc.