Sorry to be so blunt but you are an idiot. You have low self-esteem. Did you know that many people you consider pretty and good-looking have such issues too? You should man up and perfect your game if you're serious about getting love. Be useful. Be kind. Be caring. Someone will care for you in return, even if you think you're ugly. Women see beauty a lot differently than we do.
Listen, that comment was just very unhelpful and unkind. Everything you advised this member to be, your own words have lacked.
In a lot of cases low self esteem is a symptom of physical issues, not the other way around.
That is a very dismissive thing to say.
I think it is wrong to expect someone to have to compensate so much, just to barely catch up to the rest of the crowd.
It is exhausting. It is not freedom. You can never rest.
Sometimes you will even stop being "you."
For instance, I'm not attractive and I often find myself being overly pleasant with others even when they don't deserve it.
Because I know they can hurt me with a low blow if I piss them off.
My personality is very opinionated,
I often feel the need to say something, to interfere with the unfairness of the world.
But if I were to actually do this, in person especially, I would be throwing stones from a glass house.
I am forced to wear my vulnerabilities on my own skin.
Looking the way you want to gives you a sort of armor that you can't appreciate unless it's been taken away from you.
I can't hide my weakness in my back pocket or keep it in a box inside my mind.
Ofcourse good looking people have issues too, plenty of attracive people here wanting to CTB, I don't think anyone's refuting that. I would have issues even if I was attractive.
The thing is, for every individual, certain issues are life or death. And others are not.
What you would be able to handle, another person would drop to their knees over.
What pushes you over the edge, another person could take in stride and scoff at.
No one is an idiot for feeling any type of way over any type of issue.
I've also known people in my life that, even with all their own struggles, would not change places with me for the simple reason of how I look.
I'm sure there are some people that would despite that, but for those that wouldn't, it just goes to show how much appearance is coveted.
It can color everything you do, say, every impression you make.
Now while I don't connect well with the idea that having a romantic/sexual relationship with love will solve the problem and rid someone of the discomfort that goes along with being ugly..for a lot of people, that IS the focus.
They are deprived in one area, and thus starved in another.
It's fine to lament about either, or both.
For me, it's about being comfortable in my own skin. Seeing something my mind can identify with.
I do not think as a person, I am some lowly creature who should be punished and killed.
I think I deserve much better than what I've been given. I think I have lost enough and suffered enough, that the time has come for this to be over.
I would prefer it to be over in a different way, but because that is basically impossible, CTB is the only other option.
I do not feel it is even a choice. There could have been two options, but one isn't available due to the permanent circumstances.
I'm rambling now, but what I'm trying to say is that we all don't hate ourselves and have "low self esteem" about WHO we are.
(Some do and that's fine, understandable after what this type of issue can do to and take away from a person.)
It is rather that our physical selves CONSTRICT us. Our core, who we are and who we want to be, is filtered through our flesh. And most of it doesn't survive the process.
It's hard to love or connect with whatever did manage to make its way through. All these tiny, broken little pieces.
And that's what we have left to give to the world, that is what is shown to a potential love interest, or even in the sphere of a person's platonic relationships.
That's what we have to work with.
How cruel to ask someone to pick up these pieces and make them dance in an endless pantomime, just to make up for what's missing.
Not everyone wants to perfect their "game" or play a game at all.
It is not as simple as being sweet and manning up.
Sometimes people just want to scream.
Edit: Not everything I said was completely directed at your comment alone. Some of it morphed into my own response to the thread itself. Just wanted to clarify.
