Help I lack empathy

[herooftime]

Recently, I had a small argument with my friends and realized I was wrong. I understood the problem was with me, not them.
I lack empathy. If something doesn't affect me directly, it doesn't matter to me, and others' suffering doesn't move me.
After some reflection, I know this isn't normal. Do you have any advice on how to be less apathetic?

 

[N33dT0D13]

Recently, I had a small argument with my friends and realized I was wrong. I understood the problem was with me, not them.
I lack empathy. If something doesn't affect me directly, it doesn't matter to me, and others' suffering doesn't move me.
After some reflection, I know this isn't normal. Do you have any advice on how to be less apathetic?

As I understand it, you may not have emotional empathy but cognitive empathy is a skill that can be developed like any other if you want. My best friend calls himself a robot and benign psychopath / sociopath and he's one of the most patient, considerate, kind and understanding people. I believe he has no emotional empathy but he has much cognitive empathy, I wouldn't be here today if not for him, and I'm the neediest clingiest weirdo ever and he makes me feel loved and cherished and valued and heard even when he doesn't understand what I'm going through, he hears me out and tries to help as much as possible, he says he feels he doesn't deserve it but I told him I adore him and I do, he is a beautiful soul

...tl;dr, cognitive empathy can be developed, there is hope

 

[Worndown]

If you are highly stressed, empathy is not the first trait we embrace.
Add any other issues and we can be quite abrasive and unpleasant to deal with.

Medications are helpful but many only work for a limited time. In your case, a short time.
Check with your Dr and ask about other medications.

Being aware of your behavior is a great start to managing it. If needed, tell people you are stressed and that you might be a bit abrasive during the remainder of your conversation.
Most people are ok with you declaring a conversational " in flight emergency" and stepping back a little.
No reason to add more stress for everyone!

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

Recently, I had a small argument with my friends and realized I was wrong. I understood the problem was with me, not them.
I lack empathy. If something doesn't affect me directly, it doesn't matter to me, and others' suffering doesn't move me.
After some reflection, I know this isn't normal. Do you have any advice on how to be less apathetic?

Think often "I need to be the person I needed when nobody was there for me." Observe media. Look at good people. How do they behave? Notice things about decent people. How do they act? Practice self-awareness. Slow down more. Learn to apologize more. Practice morals. Think about how people want to be treated before you say anything.

Work on your trauma if you have any. Do you get angry easily? Practice getting rid of that. Learn to be proactive, not reactive. This will be hard to do but as you do it will become a sign of strength and will make you feel better. Journal and vent alone, get a therapist. Work on mental health, etc.

Be honest with people you talk to. Get it over with get it out of the way so that you don't have to deal with the train wreck that comes with it.