I KNOW im not the only victim of life happening but I reached my breaking point. I ' m really angry, sad, afraid, panicking, very very angry......

[Ineedtodie]

So much pain I can't bear. Why am I so alienated like a frankstain monster of sort.
My future is terminated. I can't keep my self stable for for just 2 straight weeks. And people and family turned against me. I hurt and I hurt.
I ' m so sad that things are this insane nd horribe for me. This too much for any person to bear. Even those reading this message. Extreme lonliness, cptsd, bdd(how else would I reach this point and other factors) I feel this msg is pointless adressed, fogive my insensitivity to strangers who are suffering and doing their best to bear their own pain. In my real life its looking very dark and wierd and torturing. I ranted in an other post and some one said I m catastrophizing in good intenstion but i' m really in deep shit, how we all(generalizing) keep living is a mistery to me now. I know SI and how suicide is not so evident. But its my only way out. Why I can't get my head around this. How much triggered can I get.

 

[Shivali]

I am afraid there is no consolation in this life, on this earth ... I can feel it too ...l

 

[Ineedtodie]

I am afraid there is no consolation in this life, on this earth ... I can feel it too ...l

Unfortunately I don't think there is. Insanity in the midst of insanity and its perpetuating. i just can bear the pain, they acted like there is no such pain.

 

[Shivali]

Leider glaube ich nicht, dass es das gibt. Wahnsinn inmitten des Wahnsinns und seiner Wiederholung. Ich kann den Schmerz einfach ertragen, sie taten so, als ob es keinen solchen Schmerz gibt.

This is my believe

 

[Ineedtodie]

This is my believe
View attachment 102636

I genuinely share the same believe. Why can't believing make it less painful is mistery to me. What would make the pain stop?

This is my believe
View attachment 102636

Did it stop for you?

This is my believe
View attachment 102636

What a wise smile!
I went to wake up now but how?

 

[Shivali]

Ich teile wirklich die gleiche Überzeugung. Warum der Glaube es nicht weniger schmerzhaft machen kann, ist mir ein Rätsel. Was würde den Schmerz stoppen?

Hat es bei dir aufgehört?

Was für ein weises Lächeln!
Ich wollte jetzt aufwachen, aber wie?

Nein, mein Leiden geht auch weiter und es ist intensiv, aber ich glaube trotzdem, dass alles vorübergehen wird ... Ich, Leiden, meine ganze Geschichte. Am Ende wird alles gut ... rocken Sie weiter und wenn Sie nicht mehr können - erschöpft - wird die Zeit kommen, loszulassen ...

Umarmungen
I am afraid my last post is in german. I have problems with my translater. And I only know a little bit in english. Its complicated ...

 

[chocolatebar]

So much pain I can't bear. Why am I so alienated like a frankstain monster of sort.
My future is terminated. I can't keep my self stable for for just 2 straight weeks. And people and family turned against me. I hurt and I hurt.
I ' m so sad that things are this insane nd horribe for me. This too much for any person to bear. Even those reading this message. Extreme lonliness, cptsd, bdd(how else would I reach this point and other factors) I feel this msg is pointless adressed, fogive my insensitivity to strangers who are suffering and doing their best to bear their own pain. In my real life its looking very dark and wierd and torturing. I ranted in an other post and some one said I m catastrophizing in good intenstion but i' m really in deep shit, how we all(generalizing) keep living is a mistery to me now. I know SI and how suicide is not so evident. But its my only way out. Why I can't get my head around this. How much triggered can I get.

You're not hurting anyone or being insensitive by sharing your struggles. Don't be so hard on yourself.

 

[Ineedtodie]

Nein, mein Leiden geht auch weiter und es ist intensiv, aber ich glaube trotzdem, dass alles vorübergehen wird ... Ich, Leiden, meine ganze Geschichte. Am Ende wird alles gut ... rocken Sie weiter und wenn Sie nicht mehr können - erschöpft - wird die Zeit kommen, loszulassen ...

Umarmungen
I am afraid my last post is in german. I have problems with my translater. And I only know a little bit in english. Its complicated ...

my suffering also continues and it is intense, but I still believe that everything will pass ... Me, suffering, my whole story. Everything will be fine in the end... keep rocking and when you can't take it anymore - exhausted - the time will come to let go... I used google translate. No idea there is a translate feature on this site..Anyhow i don't think with this convenience we could have a problem of communication. Your message is clear.

I guess there is no other way around it. When suffering is intense. One should listen to the universe. Perhaps answers or direction will come. Otherwise we are just sufferers sleepers.

 

[Shivali]

You got it !
We are only sufferers sleeping. Dreaming a suffering dream ... Norhing is really real

 

[Ineedtodie]

You're not hurting anyone or being insensitive by sharing your struggles. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Constant ranting in a suicide forum give me that sens knowing that people are also here due to their unbearable circumctancial suffering. But your are making a helpful point, better sharing then let it build up perhaps. This was very supportive. Thank you.

You got it !
We are only sufferers sleeping. Dreaming a suffering dream ... Norhing is really real

Hope you wake up from your dream and perhaps share your wisdom with others who are in similar conditioning. Much compassion to you and all in sasu who are suffering without unvalidation obviously. We live in an insane world. Anyone suffering is a tragedy.

 

[deathbylife]

You got it !
We are only sufferers sleeping. Dreaming a suffering dream ... Norhing is really real

Except there is no afterlife, so no waking up to anything.

 

[Shivali]

Nur dass es kein Leben nach dem Tod gibt, also kein Aufwachen zu irgendetwas.

... there is no life after death. And the life before death is also dreamed ... it is all a dream. Nothing really exists ....

 

[Ineedtodie]

... there is no life after death. And the life before death is also dreamed ... it is all a dream. Nothing really exists ....

I believe we are life, we are just stuck in one game/manifestation of life. Otherwise life is supposedly an all encompassing emptiness/nothingness. If you die you become a different manifestation of life creation. Obviously this is just a thought.

 

[deathbylife]

I believe we are life, we are just stuck in one game/manifestation of life. Otherwise life is supposedly an all encompassing emptiness/nothingness. If you die you become a different manifestation of life creation. Obviously this is just a thought.

I would love to believe this is true. However, our energies leave our bodies at the moment of death and dissipate, and no science has given any evidence otherwise. So, I can't believe that we would go on. The other animals of the earth don't live this way. We are different simply because our form of self-awareness also displays a huge ego. We can't seem to accept that we're not eternal beings. We are not, and our magical thinking doesn't make it true. We are also animals, quite mortal ones. That is IMHO.

 

[chocolatebar]

Constant ranting in a suicide forum give me that sens knowing that people are also here due to their unbearable circumctancial suffering. But your are making a helpful point, better sharing then let it build up perhaps. This was very supportive. Thank you.

Hope you wake up from your dream and perhaps share your wisdom with others who are in similar conditioning. Much compassion to you and all in sasu who are suffering without unvalidation obviously. We live in an insane world. Anyone suffering is a tragedy.

I think I understand that feeling. We are often taken as a "nuisance" when we open ourselves to others. We have to hear things like "everyone has problems", then get ignored or invalidated even to the people who are close to us.