I am too messed up to carry on. The darkness in me is too big. I have tried to get back into recovery but my ocd is too bad and has got into ocd around medication so I Am not taking it correctly, have seen 3 different psy and got confused. This life is amazing but I can't get back into it I'm too Ill. I always knew I wd die early. I would like to od but don't have pills to do it or sn so will have to jump even though I'm terrified of heights. I cannot bear my head any longer. I will go down on Tuesday to cliffs 3 1/2 hours away from my home. Sorry I just cannot bear to be here any more.
i am sorry to hear that life has brought you to this point. I wish you peace and rest whatever your decision may be. Thinking of you.
I wish you strength and a pleasant journey! May you find peace and freedom on the other side! Farewell!
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 38,966
That sounds really awful and tiring what you are going through, I hope that you find freedom from all the suffering. I do agree that jumping sounds like a terrifying method, those who plan to ctb in such a way certainly are so courageous, I admire them.
If you believe, life is amazing, then it's better that you don't even consider ctb yet.
You sound like you just a little push but you could go either way. Trust me, on Tuesday, you'll realise you're not prepared to ctb just yet. I'm all for letting people decide when they want to go out but if your life is amazing, don't get rid of it.
In time you will be able to beat your OCD, hopefully you realise that before it's too late.
My life is total hell because of my mind and the choices I've made, my indecision is unbearable and I've messed around with medication. I'm an addict 12 years sober but can't get back into it, I've tried and a dark part inside me won't let me back in. I know life can be beautiful but I'm too tired and worn out to put the effort in and there are too many important decisions right now my mind is totally in trauma and I can't decide anything. I believe in life after death and that I will be safe when I go. I just can't carry on anymore. I so wish there was a pill I could take to let me go peacefully without having to drive to a cliff. I've tried taking pills but I'm always sick and it doesn't work. Sorry for post.
Wish I cd stay here but everyday for the last year has been pure hell because of my ocd. I wd have been ok if I had taken meds straight away but I had a really shit doctor.
Thank you for replies
Wish I cd stay here but everyday for the last year has been pure hell because of my ocd. I wd have been ok if I had taken meds straight away but I had a really shit doctor.
Thank you for replies
Vizzy
DEAD
- May 6, 2023
- 1,869
Hope you find peace
You don't have to give explanations, do as you like
Stop giving advice to people in suicide section
You are making it worse, just go to recovery section
Last edited by a moderator:
No it's fine getting advice I just know I cannot do this anymore. Wish I could but I'm too trapped.
I wasn't giving advice, I'm telling him he won't do it, if he believes life is beautiful and believes in a god, he'll more than likely not commit and that's all the more power to him.
love_peep
Specialist
- May 26, 2023
- 313
interesting, but I also always thought all my life that I would not even live to 30. Unfortunately, due to my depression, I will leave earlier. I always knew that I would leave early and I think I will do ctb one of these days
I will drive down on Wednesday after my mum has left my appartment. I'm not sure what to do with my dog but thinking to leave her here snd put a note in my car so she will be looked after quickly.
sunfl0wer
Member
- May 25, 2023
- 10
I will go down tomorrow to jump.
Unfortunately I told a friend on Wednesday and I have ended up with 3 police visits but there is nothing they can do for me now .
Unfortunately I told a friend on Wednesday and I have ended up with 3 police visits but there is nothing they can do for me now .
