I keep thinking if I could go back in time

[Steamm]

I would do everything different. Damn why isn't that possible? Fuck

 

[MoreThanAFeeling]

I know how you feel. Everyday I live with the painful regret of my past. Wishing you strength.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Do you really think you would behave any differently?

 

[Steamm]

Do you really think you would behave any differently?

Definitely, a few choices I've made 3 years ago still hurts me like hell

 

[Mustkeyknow]

You're only hurting yourself by doing that. I know I do that myself I'm guilty of it too but i guess just because we know it doesn't mean it's gone. It's out of our control all we can do is try to move forward.

 

[faust]

Time teaches you no matter what wrong you did. Your experience would be different and you could never know what wrong mistakes could you do if you had a chance to return. I often think that it would be great to return to 2014, but who can guarantee it could not be worse? Yes, everything was colourful like a rainbow and there were plenty of missed possibilities. But I think my mind just wants to create so-called excuses that my life is fucked only because I did something wrong in the past.

 

[flower]

I really wish I could start my life over from the beginning, but I would still be me and that's the real issue

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I also have this kind of thoughts in mind sometimes. Unfortunately it's not possible and we have to deal with regret. I know how you must be feeling. If we could go back in time and change some things we wouldn't be here. It sucks. It sucks a lot.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I wish

 

[Jumper Geo]

Just imagine, yes that would be wonderful, going back to when you was a child retaining all that knowledge you have today.

You would all know my name because I created Facebook and Amazon,

 

[needtogo]

I know the feeling. All it would take is to not listen to a doc and I wouldn't want to end it....

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

If I could go back in time. I would hug my bestfriend and never let go as I know it would be my last time seeing them alive again.

 

[Dreamless Sleep]

I think most people have this desire, at least once in a while. Its something I have beat myself up with far more than I care to admit... wishing I could go back to 1995, or 1987 and undo 2 choices I made in life that I feel led me to where I am now.

Some strongly believe everything happens for a reason though, and if that's true I guess it wouldn't matter if you changed seemingly small decisions in your past... as you would ultimately end up in the same place in the future.

 

[dusty boots]

I would do everything different. Damn why isn't that possible? Fuck

I read in a different thread that your reason to CTB is because you lost $300k? If you don't mind me asking, how did that happen?

 

[a.n.kirillov]

You know I'm reading a book by the German antinatalist Karim Akerma right now (soon to be published in English I think) where he describes how we live under the 'tyranny of the remembering self' at all times; so no matter how horrible something was we went through in the past to our present-experience-self, the remembering-self will always tell us that it wasn't that bad and will construe some narrative to justify the experience.

Quite an interesting perspective on how we remember things and make sense of them; he even cites some scientific studies to back that claim up, if I get to it I might post them tommorow.

 

[highlyvolatile]

It would be nice to.

 

[Tasdevil]

I wish I could go back in time.

 

[Mr2005]

This is all I've wanted for ten years. Nothings made any difference. It can only be fixed in 2005. I have no excuses. I had six years and did nothing then regretted it ever since

 

[a.n.kirillov]

This is all I've wanted for ten years. Nothings made any difference. It can only be fixed in 2005. I have no excuses. I had six years and did nothing then regretted it ever since

Oooooh mind blown ^^ Mr two-thousand-and-five, suddenly it all makes sense

 

[ladolcemorte]

Exactly how I feel. If only...

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I would do everything different. Damn why isn't that possible? Fuck

The thing is, we don't grow or improve or gain wisdom without making mistakes or experiencing suffering. That is part of the very nature of life. We do not usually become who we become based on talents or potential, more often it is because of circumstances.

The Stoics worked around this by looking at every challenge and obstacle as opportunity for finding a hidden treasure, such as an untapped ability, an unnoticed resource, or to grow in power, ability, and/or knowledge. If they made a mistake, they acknowledged their imperfection and resolved to learn from the mistake and move forward with the intention of doing better.

I'm not saying to turn your frown upside down. Shit hurts. The Stoics didn't run from their emotions, they acknowledged them and worked with them.

I'm not trying to preach Stoicism to you, or to preach at all. What I'm trying to share is self-acceptance of being human and fallible, but also being human, resilient and full of untapped potential.

Finally, time may not heal all wounds, but distance creates a boundary, and with time, this won't sting so much, and you will develop new feelings and thoughts about the past. Your grief is allowed to have space, but in time it will not be bigger than you, it will take up less space as you move forward from what you regret and become more than the act, more than the regret, and more than the grief.

I say this as a 48-year-old woman who has suffered, mourned, and grown. My reasons for contemplating ctb are thoroughly external, not because I seek to destroy myself for things I cannot undo. I do not speak down to you, I recognize and honor your right to self-determination. I cannot and do not promise good outcomes for you, but I hear your suffering, and I see in it and in you the potential for good outcomes. I speak with deep respect for your pain and fellow humanity. I send you a compassionate and caring hug.

 

[s1mplem3]

You would just get to the end in a different way.