NSFW i just wish i could be better

[kissmegoodbye]

this is more of a vent post but it is about NSFW topics so i labeled it that...
ive been dating my boyfriend for about 8 months now and before and during all this, i know he has a porn addiction and i just don't know how to feel about it anymore. i don't think it's a big deal enough to leave him for it, there are so many other good things he does and im honestly nothing without him but i just cant stop thinking terrible things about myself. i KNOW that he loves me and that im special to him but i keep on thinking things that i know are selfish and insecure like "im not enough" or "everything else is just better",, i want to find a way to stop thinking these things and just stop caring so much and be able to accept better how things are with me and my boyfriend.. it just makes it harder when i get constant reminders of stuff he likes that im not, i wish i could be better. i don't know where else to vent about this because honestly i don't want to break up with him because if it, it isn't worth it just for that. i wish i could stop caring and if there was some way to help him i would, ive tried before but i know its a thing you have to work on within yourself too. i feel so selfish for thinking like this

 

[nobeertonight]

it just makes it harder when i get constant reminders of stuff he likes that im not

I understand him being open about it is a big step but why are you reminded so often? If he shows you such stuff in an effort to make you insecure it's really not a good sign.

And please be safe, don't let anyone drag you into an abyss you don't need to dive into

 

[steveholt]

Never feel selfish about your own thoughts... they are yours and you should disscus them and talk about how it effects you ....

 

[moonflow3r]

maybe try to talk to him about your concerns? don't necessarily point out his addiction but maybe mention your feelings and stuff, if he's truly worth it he will listen to you

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I've been in your shoes, this post resonates deeply with me. Different people will have different opinions but, in my opinion, if his porn addiction makes you uncomfortable, I think you two should discuss it. Not only because of the relationship and your feelings, but also because of his sexual health.

A guy I dated had a porn addiction and it resulted in ED when we were dating. For several years we never had sex. His body was trained to only get aroused by porn, his confidence was shattered, he wanted to have sex really bad, as I did, but then couldn't "get it up". We were young, in our early 20s, he hasn't yet recovered.

I don't think addictions should be accepted as normal...they're called addictions for a reason, it's not good for him. Also, every relationship will suffer because of it, like you are experiencing. I felt incredibly inadequate for years, my self esteem to the ground, same as his.

For both of your sakes, consider discussing it, seeing what he thinks about it, researching on the dangers of that addiction. Don't just accept those feelings of inadequacy and live in sadness and frustration, it's not worth it...

 

[kissmegoodbye]

I understand him being open about it is a big step but why are you reminded so often? If he shows you such stuff in an effort to make you insecure it's really not a good sign.

And please be safe, don't let anyone drag you into an abyss you don't need to dive into

he does show me stuff a lot but i don't think it's to make me insecure,, he just likes different stuff i think and likes to share.. I'm not sure
w

I've been in your shoes, this post resonates deeply with me. Different people will have different opinions but, in my opinion, if his porn addiction makes you uncomfortable, I think you two should discuss it. Not only because of the relationship and your feelings, but also because of his sexual health.

A guy I dated had a porn addiction and it resulted in ED when we were dating. For several years we never had sex. His body was trained to only get aroused by porn, his confidence was shattered, he wanted to have sex really bad, as I did, but then couldn't "get it up". We were young, in our early 20s, he hasn't yet recovered.

I don't think addictions should be accepted as normal...they're called addictions for a reason, it's not good for him. Also, every relationship will suffer because of it, like you are experiencing. I felt incredibly inadequate for years, my self esteem to the ground, same as his.

For both of your sakes, consider discussing it, seeing what he thinks about it, researching on the dangers of that addiction. Don't just accept those feelings of inadequacy and live in sadness and frustration, it's not worth ititee

I've been in your shoes, this post resonates deeply with me. Different people will have different opinions but, in my opinion, if his porn addiction makes you uncomfortable, I think you two should discuss it. Not only because of the relationship and your feelings, but also because of his sexual health.

A guy I dated had a porn addiction and it resulted in ED when we were dating. For several years we never had sex. His body was trained to only get aroused by porn, his confidence was shattered, he wanted to have sex really bad, as I did, but then couldn't "get it up". We were young, in our early 20s, he hasn't yet recovered.

I don't think addictions should be accepted as normal...they're called addictions for a reason, it's not good for him. Also, every relationship will suffer because of it, like you are experiencing. I felt incredibly inadequate for years, my self esteem to the ground, same as his.

For both of your sakes, consider discussing it, seeing what he thinks about it, researching on the dangers of that addiction. Don't just accept those feelings of inadequacy and live in sadness and frustration, it's not worth it...

we have talked about it before many times,, he's stuck in a cycle of stopping during some time and then going back to it and he gets kinda annoyed when i try to remind him not to.. i feel like im being bossy and controlling too if i try to tell him he shouldn't, pointing out how it's bad for his health made me think less of that though, thank you. he's shown me research that his addiction won't cause ED so im not sure if thatd be a good point to tell him.. he's also been really stressed lately about other stuff so i don't know when to bring it up : (

 

[사람이 없어]

I've been in your shoes, this post resonates deeply with me. Different people will have different opinions but, in my opinion, if his porn addiction makes you uncomfortable, I think you two should discuss it. Not only because of the relationship and your feelings, but also because of his sexual health.

A guy I dated had a porn addiction and it resulted in ED when we were dating. For several years we never had sex. His body was trained to only get aroused by porn, his confidence was shattered, he wanted to have sex really bad, as I did, but then couldn't "get it up". We were young, in our early 20s, he hasn't yet recovered.

I don't think addictions should be accepted as normal...they're called addictions for a reason, it's not good for him. Also, every relationship will suffer because of it, like you are experiencing. I felt incredibly inadequate for years, my self esteem to the ground, same as his.

For both of your sakes, consider discussing it, seeing what he thinks about it, researching on the dangers of that addiction. Don't just accept those feelings of inadequacy and live in sadness and frustration, it's not worth it...

I've seen too many guys be affected by "porn dick", where they struggle to get it up, or struggle to reach orgasm even though they really want to. It's sad..

 

[ForgottenAgain]

we have talked about it before many times,, he's stuck in a cycle of stopping during some time and then going back to it and he gets kinda annoyed when i try to remind him not to.. i feel like im being bossy and controlling too if i try to tell him he shouldn't, pointing out how it's bad for his health made me think less of that though, thank you. he's shown me research that his addiction won't cause ED so im not sure if thatd be a good point to tell him.. he's also been really stressed lately about other stuff so i don't know when to bring it up : (

The guy I dated did the same. Tried his best to paint the porn games he played in good light, how it could be beneficial for this or that. It was only after we broke up that he actually took a hard look at himself and realised what he was saying was bs since he was in denial... Truth is, he was addicted, porn was kind of a comfort to him and he didn't want to lose that.

It's very hard to be the addicted and very hard to be the girlfriend of a porn addicted man... But no, there's hardly any benefits. Just to give a small sample size, my university course was male dominated, I was the only woman. It was a course on videogame programming so a lot of nerd type guys. The big majority of them watched porn/played porn games and had ED issues. Vast, vast majority, and they were all around 22, 24, etc.

He's deluding himself because he's addicted so it may be hard to convince him... However, it's really important for his health that he stops because not even Viagra helps at some point. The mental state affects it so much. When the man's self confidence is shattered, sex becomes anxiety inducing, fear of failing/disappointing, frustration, it becomes a chore. Trust me, I've been there...attempting to have sex was the last thing either of us wanted. I developed sexual issues because, after 2 years, I couldn't get wet anymore. My body had developed a memory of his own and it knew sex wouldn't work out so it didn't even get aroused. His body was the same. Meanwhile we were both becoming sexually frustrated, with neither needs met. It's extremely sad and the relationship becomes depressing and cold...

Don't want to be a downer or scare you both, just don't want either of you to go through what me and him went through. Especially because porn is not worth it, at all.

 

[kissmegoodbye]

The guy I dated did the same. Tried his best to paint the porn games he played in good light, how it could be beneficial for this or that. It was only after we broke up that he actually took a hard look at himself and realised what he was saying was bs since he was in denial... Truth is, he was addicted, porn was kind of a comfort to him and he didn't want to lose that.

It's very hard to be the addicted and very hard to be the girlfriend of a porn addicted man... But no, there's hardly any benefits. Just to give a small sample size, my university course was male dominated, I was the only woman. It was a course on videogame programming so a lot of nerd type guys. The big majority of them watched porn/played porn games and had ED issues. Vast, vast majority, and they were all around 22, 24, etc.

He's deluding himself because he's addicted so it may be hard to convince him... However, it's really important for his health that he stops because not even Viagra helps at some point. The mental state affects it so much. When the man's self confidence is shattered, sex becomes anxiety inducing, fear of failing/disappointing, frustration, it becomes a chore. Trust me, I've been there...attempting to have sex was the last thing either of us wanted. I developed sexual issues because, after 2 years, I couldn't get wet anymore. My body had developed a memory of his own and it knew sex wouldn't work out so it didn't even get aroused. His body was the same. Meanwhile we were both becoming sexually frustrated, with neither needs met. It's extremely sad and the relationship becomes depressing and cold...

Don't want to be a downer or scare you both, just don't want either of you to go through what me and him went through. Especially because porn is not worth it, at all.

thank you,, i don't want him to have to go through feeling like that. when he's feeling better ill talk to him about things.. thank you so much for sharing, it really has helped me think about stuff differently.. thank you so much, i hope you have a good day