Venting I just wanted to be happy and understood, I never wanted to die.

[stinky_joe]

I always searched for someone who would help me through hard times, someone who would comfort me and make me feel ok. Every single time I felt a person could be the one, which is extremely rare, they ended up turning their backs on me and walking away.

And now I've lost all hope. At least I could understand what my desire was, but it doesnt matter. I'll never find what I'm looking for. Even if I will, its not going to be anytime soon and I'll have to keep bearing this pain for a long time.

Taking my life seems like the only escape, the only option I have. Its not what I wanted but it is what I have to settle with. I dont believe Ive made my mind up yet but I feel myself getting closer to the edge day by day. I used to worry about my family but now even that seems somewhat unimportant. I think this is how it ends.

 

[Macedonian1987]

I also wanted to be understood, loved, accepted by society, and without my chronic health issues. I don't want to die either. If it wasn't for all of these unbearable life circumstances, I would love to stay alive for as long as God intended me to stay.
Even my own parents are very cold uncomforting and they think that I somehow brought this down upon myself. Which is not true at all. That's why I plan on ending it one day. Living for 38 years without any friends and no love life... that's no life at all. It is a torture.

 

[Cyc]

This is so relatable. In this world you can't fully depend on anyone imo

 

[fallen.dove]

hey, i feel u. im going thru the same thing. if u want to talk, feel free to dm me

 

[cursedlife]

If I wasn't poor and mentally ill I would keep living but that's not the case for me , I hate being poor and depressed and if I don't end my life I'll die by malnutrition anyway , I have no choice

 

[stinky_joe]

I also wanted to be understood, loved, accepted by society, and without my chronic health issues. I don't want to die either. If it wasn't for all of these unbearable life circumstances, I would love to stay alive for as long as God intended me to stay.
Even my own parents are very cold uncomforting and they think that I somehow brought this down upon myself. Which is not true at all. That's why I plan on ending it one day. Living for 38 years without any friends and no love life... that's no life at all. It is a torture.

Im sorry to hear that.. I hope you can find peace either in this world or somewhere else <3

hey, i feel u. im going thru the same thing. if u want to talk, feel free to dm me

I sent you a dm but im not sure if it worked lol