I just want to speak out. My life is ruined. I had nothing left and I finally lost hope

[der golem]

I do not know how to formulate it correctly. Describing my life is too long. I have once again come to the conclusion that I will not be able to fulfill my dream. I don't want to describe what kind of dream it is, it will be too long. The bottom line: I went to this for a very long time and invested a lot of work, but nothing happened. Also I will always be lonely, I have bipolar disorder and borderline, I will not have a job and love. I have a long history of "relationships" with the topic of suicide. 3 years ago, I took a rope for the first time and went to hang myself. Here, once again I came to the conclusion that suicide is the way out of my life situation. Sorry for the mistakes, if there are any, I am not an English speaker and use a translator. I live in Russia and the low standard of living also leaves an imprint, when, often, there is not enough money for food, this increases depression.

 

[Manaaja]

I'm sorry to hear life hasn't been kind for you. The world is often too cruel.

I've heard and seen that life in some parts of Russia is awful. Too cold, too much snow, buildings are old and in a bad condition, roads are broken.

It's sad that you can barely get anything in this world without money. I wish food was free for poor people.

 

[FuneralCry]

Being alive really is horrible, I'm sorry you are in this situation. It is painful to lose hope. Suicide is also my only way out. I wish you the best, I hope you find peace and freedom from suffering.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

I relate all too well to having life long mental illness, wild mood swings and the fact that my dream is gone leaving me absolutely nothing to live for. It's sad that it's had to come to this, but, hopefully we can both find the peace we so desperately seek in this cold and cruel world. Hugs for you.

 

[fox_wannabe]

I cannot imagine having mental illness on top of low standards of life. Sorry to hear that you ended up like this.

 

[obliviousatbest]

It's hard grieving for the life you could have had when you're drifting further and further away from that dream, especially when you've poured your whole being into your work only for it to be fruitless. I'm sorry for the suffering you endure and hope the universe brings you the peace you deserve, however you wish for it.