Venting I just want to go, but im forced to stay

[ClownMe]

I just want to be gone, my existence is nothing but pain and suffering and the last few weeks it has only managed to get worse. There is nothing I enjoy, nothing that I want to see in the future, there's simply nothing here for me. My mind is constantly spinning and im an emotional wreck around the clock. The only reason im still alive is because I dont want to leave my dog all alone. I know he wont be able to cope but he still might not pass away for a few more years yet. I dont know how im going to make it that long for him.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Same but with family instead of dog. It's bad enough without the hostages.

 

[deflationary]

Same here too. I would be gone today if I didn't think it would potentially ruin and at minimum seriously affect another person's life as well. This situation sucks so much.

 

[fox_wannabe]

I send hugs to you all <3

knowing they won't help. I am here because my family is a huge reason to stop me from ctb. They are so clueless to my suffering because I was learnt to not speak about my emotions, and I am afraid of being gaslight again by my covert narcissist father.

 

[TheAmazingCriswell]

I'm afraid I can relate to this sentiment. The cherry on top is that you're expected to fit in like everyone else.
You can't just hide from the world until everyone you hold dear is dead so you are finally free to follow them, you need to pretend that you actually care about life and becoming a "functioning member of society".

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

My SI is practically nothing more than the fear of survival.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand it is hard to carry on when you are suffering. I am very tired of existing and I just want to be gone too. I would never be able to suffer for the sake of others, but I understand it is a difficult situation to be in as you do not want to leave your dog behind. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[NormaJeane]

Many people want to die but are forced to live - the society forces us to live.