I just want to chill out and read

[whatevs]

I'm chronically fatigued, depressed, removed from normal activities and feelings including sexual pleasure or interest in sports. Going to work for some entrepreneur pig that is money-hungry and immoral, with normie co-workers that listen to animalistic trap music, is hell. I'm absolutely out of place. I actually hate the society normal people are building with their willful ignorance and blind obedience. I just need to pretend to respect them because the scum is majority and they aren't as peaceful as they look.

I realized that I just don't want to integrate into society, and I might not have the energy to. I think this will end up with me dead, even though I feel little motivation to kill myself right now. I don't feel shame anymore living off my parents or from the State. My parents chose to have offspring and I would set fire to the State if I could LMAO. I would like to spend my days having contemplative walks in the woods, reading and coding if I feel like. Or partaking in a cathartic revolt.

I'm entering the phase in which I reach my final form. As a preparatory step I stopped watching pornography and masturbating. I might reunite with Eckhart Tolle in some form of monetizable illumination or I will catch a bus to an unknown destination (not the void, as I understand that to be impossible, something will go somewhere).

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

It was always my fantasy to retreat to a cabin in the woods where I could spend all day reading and taking walks in the rain. A modest fantasy.

 

[whatevs]

It was always my fantasy to retreat to a cabin in the woods where I could spend all day reading and taking walks in the rain. A modest fantasy.

To be found as a ecstatic skeleton one day, with crazy notes scribbled on the furniture. That's the life.

 

[chocolatebar]

I realized that I just don't want to integrate into society,

It makes me remember when a therapist asked me if I wanted to "learn strategies to better fit myself into society". I answered "This society? Sorry, I don't want to"

I also reached a similar mind state. There's nothing wrong with me. The world itself is messed up and no person in their right mind would like to live in it.

 

[whatevs]

It makes me remember when a therapist asked me if I wanted to "learn strategies to better fit myself into society". I answered "This society? Sorry, I don't want to"

I also reached a similar mind state. There's nothing wrong with me. The world itself is messed up and no person in their right mind would like to live in it.

Very true. The only nuance I would throw to this would be that I'm pretty certain there are things wrong with my personality, but as we will see in a short time, this society was demented and wrong since some generations ago, or perhaps since the Roman Empire or such.

Our civilizational rot started somewhere, or maybe it was predetermined to appear in the deflationary, aging phase... Either way, it's obvious that society is quite insane (e.g. contradictory, conflicted, denying dangerous realities with comfortable delusions), and the only light we find in this darkness is provided by the trusty guidance of our animal instincts. For those that want to follow them, that is. I wouldn't have children even if I was in the position to.

 

[justagreenleaf]

I might reunite with Eckhart Tolle in some form of monetizable illumination or I will catch a bus to an unknown destination (not the void, as I understand that to be impossible, something will go somewhere).

I'm sorry you feel the way that you do. All I can is, I truly relate to your anhedonia... But the cited text part made me laugh harder than I have done all day.