i just typed out my suicide note and felt nothing

[Corpse_in_a_dress]

I just wrote my suicide note but felt nothing not sad not happy just my normal weird feeling that I almost always feel

I JUST WANT TO CRY I JUST WANT TO CRY I JUST WANT TO CRY I JUST WANT TO CRY I JUST WANT TO CRY
BUT I CANT FUCKING DO IT NO MATTER WHAT SONG I LISTEN TO WHATEVER FILM I WATCH NOTHING EVEN WHEN I THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING
I NEED TO CRY I FEEL LIKE ITS ALL BUIT UP BUT ISNT GOING ANYWHERE JUST SITTING AND SLOWLY OVERFLOWING

 

[inanimate]

I hate feeling nothing, empty. so sorry you feel this way too. it's beyond maddening and depressing

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are going through this. Feeling nothing can be one of the worst feelings. I cannot cry anymore, I used to be able to and in a way I miss it. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Intelligent_Panic99]

I just wrote my suicide note but felt nothing not sad not happy just my normal weird feeling that I almost always feel

I JUST WANT TO CRY I JUST WANT TO CRY I JUST WANT TO CRY I JUST WANT TO CRY I JUST WANT TO CRY
BUT I CANT FUCKING DO IT NO MATTER WHAT SONG I LISTEN TO WHATEVER FILM I WATCH NOTHING EVEN WHEN I THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING
I NEED TO CRY I FEEL LIKE ITS ALL BUIT UP BUT ISNT GOING ANYWHERE JUST SITTING AND SLOWLY OVERFLOWI

I get it. This makes sense to me. When I feel like I could cry there is just pain in my chest and I feel like someone is choking me. No tears. Once I told myself "no more crying" and I haven't cried since. I feel so numb and any kind of emotion (good or bad) hurts because it's trapped inside.

 

[Chiisai]

I get it. This makes sense to me. When I feel like I could cry there is just pain in my chest and I feel like someone is choking me. No tears. Once I told myself "no more crying" and I haven't cried since. I feel so numb and any kind of emotion (good or bad) hurts because it's trapped inside.

I feel you. Can relate to that. That muat be the true definition of being dead inside

 

[dreadpirateroberts69]

I have definitely been there, especially when I was on antidepressants. I think that was the main reason I chose to stop taking them. They didn't do much for me anyway. The feelings were still there, they were just... stilted. There's nothing like being emotionally constipated. It's no way to live. If it's possible for you, and you haven't tried already, I would suggest maybe talking to someone you trust about your feelings. It sucks being vulnerable but I have found that for me talking to someone can really get those tears going.

 

[Chiisai]

If ever you try to open up to someone just be careful who you try to open up to. Even the most trusted allies can become the worst enemies or so a quote similar to that. Betrayal hurts the worst IMHO

 

[dreadpirateroberts69]

If ever you try to open up to someone just be careful who you try to open up to. Even the most trusted allies can become the worst enemies or so a quote similar to that. Betrayal hurts the worst IMHO

Yes for sure, and I want to add that also if you do, and you truly intend on killing yourself, I would avoid the topic of suicide. You're not looking to make someone else hysterical for nothing, just catharsis. But if deep down you feel you want to be "saved" or talked out of killing yourself then don't hold back, just know you're doing it at your own risk

 

[StarryStarry]

I wish I had no feelings. I can't stop crying hysterically. I'm such a dumb ass

 

[Chiisai]

I wish I had no feelings. I can't stop crying hysterically. I'm such a dumb ass

I dont know if this consoles you or not but I believe you need to cherish your emotions while you still y can feel it. To pour out one's emotions would be a great relief and that's coming from someone that cant cry.

 

[StarryStarry]

I dont know if this consoles you or not but I believe you need to cherish your emotions while you still y can feel it. To pour out one's emotions would be a great relief and that's coming from someone that cant cry.

It would be nice to have a happy medium. I honestly can't stop crying. It would be nice to be able to withstand the pressures of life without breaking down.

 

[dreadpirateroberts69]

It would be nice to have a happy medium. I honestly can't stop crying. It would be nice to be able to withstand the pressures of life without breaking down.

It really sucks that you can't stop crying, and I certainly don't blame you as you've been through the ringer. I suppose lack of a happy medium is in short, why we're all here. Both intense pain and persistent numbness can be unbearable to live with. I have become quite numb in some ways as a coping mechanism. But I believe that if I'm that dead inside, and the only alternative is pain, then I'm better off dead anyway.

 

[StarryStarry]

It really sucks that you can't stop crying, and I certainly don't blame you as you've been through the ringer. I suppose lack of a happy medium is in short, why we're all here. Both intense pain and persistent numbness can be unbearable to live with. I have become quite numb in some ways as a coping mechanism. But I believe that if I'm that dead inside, and the only alternative is pain, then I'm better off dead anyway.

I'm so sorry that your life's experiences have been so negative and painful.

 

[dreadpirateroberts69]

I'm so sorry that your life's experiences have been so negative and painful.

Thank you. I'm hanging in there for now. I've read your posts and I'm truly sorry for what you've had to go through as well. You deserve peace and I wish nothing but peace for you, whatever the path that leads there.