Venting I just spent two hours looking for my ex girlfriend

[InternetFloater]

I'm so stupid to be honest. She's probably dead anyway. I don't know why I spent so much time looking for her or why I even looked for her at all, it's not like I wanted to reach out or anything. I just feel kinda empty at the moment. She hurt me so badly and I hurt her too. She threated to ctb when I broke up with her and even after all of my pleas she didn't listen to me, but listened to my best friend who she was mad at me talking to (Not because he was bad, she just didn't want me talking to other people, really. But I understand, it's bpd and she doesn't have control over that or how she feels). Then I sent an apology a while later to a friend, which was then sent to her and she started leaking my (underage at the time) nudes to my adult friends, including my best friend. Then falsely accused me of abuse with out of context screenshots of us sexting where she asked me to play a violent,, dominating role, who wouldn't take no for an answer (she did the same to me). But I honestly deserved it. I cheated on her. I mean, yeah the person I cheated on her with was 20 years older than me and old enough to be my dad while I was 15, but still. I shouldn't have done it and I hurt her. And it's funny because the guy I cheated on her with was someone who she told me to cut off because he got nudes from me haha. How ironic. Ugh, I think I'm sympathy baiting. I should end this here.

 

[J&L383]

You are not stupid. Talk all you want, we're here to listen. I still poke around on the internet to see if my ex is still alive.

 

[BruceWayne]

i had a gf from 15-22 we broke up in 2015 and shortly she got married. i haven't seen her in 10 years and when i do look at her now she has 3 kids with a husband meanwhile, i dont have anything. she took my youth and now i still think of her everyday. sometimes i dream of her and its the most wonderful thing going on in my life, i try to enjoy it as much as i can when im dreaming of her

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Let me get this straight...

She made false abuse allegations about you and sent csem of you to your friends but you deserve it because you cheated on her with someone who was 20 years older than you back when you were 15 or, in other words, you were being groomed at the time?

First off, how old are you? Because no adult refers to their friends as "adult friends"? Secondly, if you haven't already, please contact someone for help. Your ex-girlfriend seems to be abusive and you were groomed. This is incredibly concerning it would probably be best to reach out and get some help with processing all of this if you haven't already.