I just ordered SN and I feel excited about relief but scared that I'm getting closer...

[anon789]

I've been looking into so many methods for awhile... and everyone keeps coming back to SN. I've made up my mind so many times that I wanna do it, I just never had the materials and I heard about all the restrictions. I found a place that only needed my ID to see that I was over 21, which I am. Send them the info they needed and it should be here within a week or so. Now the next step is to find xanax to help me with the process of not freaking out. Would heroin work? I live in a town with homeless people, it wouldn't be too hard. I feel nervous but also excited that I'll have some of the materials I need if I decide to go through with it. The right time will come I think. Is there an expiry on SN?


Also I hope I can keep this a secret from my therapist. Idk what will happen if I say I've now ordered it.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Can't tell you about heroin, never tried it. Heroin on its own can be the means to ctb. From all evidence, it should be a very peaceful way to go, probably better than SN. If there's an expiration date on SN, it will indicate it on the bottle. Store it just as it says and I'm sure it will last for quite some time even after the expiration date, as long as it isn't opened.

Also I hope I can keep this a secret from my therapist. Idk what will happen if I say I've now ordered it.

I'm not sure why you would do this? Normally, those who tell others about their plans are really reaching out for help. If it is help you are seeking, then by all means tell your therapist. I don't know where you reside, but some therapists may be able to use your admission of "formulating a suicide plan" to have you committed, so keep that in mind. You can even visit the Recovery section here on SaSu to find help if you so desire.

 

[almaranthine]

I have the SN, but none of the recommended prescription meds to go along with it; I haven't even bit the bullet and bought a scale and a measuring cup to use to weigh out and mix the solution. I guess part of me is just procrastinating. I know I should try to get the scripts for some of the meds, but I don't have any health insurance and I don't want to get scammed by an online pharmacy. Perhaps I'm thinking they are harder to acquire than they really are. Idk, I know some people have gone through with their attempt with the bare basics and it had appeared as though they were successful. One question for you though... if you are willing to source and inject H, what are your reasons for not just trying to use that to ctb?

 

[anon789]

I have the SN, but none of the recommended prescription meds to go along with it; I haven't even bit the bullet and bought a scale and a measuring cup to use to weigh out and mix the solution. I guess part of me is just procrastinating. I know I should try to get the scripts for some of the meds, but I don't have any health insurance and I don't want to get scammed by an online pharmacy. Perhaps I'm thinking they are harder to acquire than they really are. Idk, I know some people have gone through with their attempt with the bare basics and it had appeared as though they were successful. One question for you though... if you are willing to source and inject H, what are your reasons for not just trying to use that to ctb?

It sounds like there's a part of you that doesn't want to go yet, or just isn't ready. I think SN is probably the hardest thing to get right now because of all the restrictions being put on it. People are finding out what it's used for and they're putting up so many regulations.

As for injecting H, I didn't look into how much I would need, and how "pure" it has to be etc... It just seems scary that I might fail, which is why I'm thinking of pairing it with SN. Plus I've heard the high from H is amazing and I wanna try it before I go, preferably my last moments be absolute bliss!!!!

I know H is in my town, there's junkies everywhere... I just don't know where to actually get it without getting scammed. It may be difficult, don't know. Is there any posts about obtaining that on here?

Can't tell you about heroin, never tried it. Heroin on its own can be the means to ctb. From all evidence, it should be a very peaceful way to go, probably better than SN. If there's an expiration date on SN, it will indicate it on the bottle. Store it just as it says and I'm sure it will last for quite some time even after the expiration date, as long as it isn't opened.


I'm not sure why you would do this? Normally, those who tell others about their plans are really reaching out for help. If it is help you are seeking, then by all means tell your therapist. I don't know where you reside, but some therapists may be able to use your admission of "formulating a suicide plan" to have you committed, so keep that in mind. You can even visit the Recovery section here on SaSu to find help if you so desire.

I'm seeing a therapist on my campus just to feel better in the meantime til Christmas, I want to at least make it until Christmas so my family can see me one last time. Therapy does help, but I can feel how shallow it is and how they don't really believe in my suffering or understand me. I think I'll be able to keep it a secret, I am just slightly worried because I can't keep my mouth shut about much, especially if they ask me directly about it.

 

[almaranthine]

It sounds like there's a part of you that doesn't want to go yet, or just isn't ready. I think SN is probably the hardest thing to get right now because of all the restrictions being put on it. People are finding out what it's used for and they're putting up so many regulations.

As for injecting H, I didn't look into how much I would need, and how "pure" it has to be etc... It just seems scary that I might fail, which is why I'm thinking of pairing it with SN. Plus I've heard the high from H is amazing and I wanna try it before I go, preferably my last moments be absolute bliss!!!!

I know H is in my town, there's junkies everywhere... I just don't know where to actually get it without getting scammed. It may be difficult, don't know. Is there any posts about obtaining that on here?

I'm seeing a therapist on my campus just to feel better in the meantime til Christmas, I want to at least make it until Christmas so my family can see me one last time. Therapy does help, but I can feel how shallow it is and how they don't really believe in my suffering or understand me. I think I'll be able to keep it a secret, I am just slightly worried because I can't keep my mouth shut about much, especially if they ask me directly about it.

There have been some posts here (you can use the search function to find specific ones) about H, but as for sourcing it, that is really subjective to where you live. I've also wanted to try it once, but being a small female idk if my anxiety would allow me to "befriend" some sketchy folks and try to acquire it myself. If I had some druggie friend already, I would have definitely tried to OD on it. And you're right, there is a part of me that is just angry that it has come down to this decision, and doesn't want to let go. I don't have many options left on the table though, unfortunately. I must make a definite decision very soon.

 

[Zegers]

SN-IC
Pain killers
Anti-acid
Meto
Measuring spoon

Meto is proving more difficult to reach

 

[makethepainstop]

I've been looking into so many methods for awhile... and everyone keeps coming back to SN. I've made up my mind so many times that I wanna do it, I just never had the materials and I heard about all the restrictions. I found a place that only needed my ID to see that I was over 21, which I am. Send them the info they needed and it should be here within a week or so. Now the next step is to find xanax to help me with the process of not freaking out. Would heroin work? I live in a town with homeless people, it wouldn't be too hard. I feel nervous but also excited that I'll have some of the materials I need if I decide to go through with it. The right time will come I think. Is there an expiry on SN?


Also I hope I can keep this a secret from my therapist. Idk what will happen if I say I've now ordered it.

Trust me when the pain gets to the point it overrides survival instinct, it becomes easier.

 

[anon789]

SN-IC
Pain killers
Anti-acid
Meto
Measuring spoon

Meto is proving more difficult to reach

what is meto?

There have been some posts here (you can use the search function to find specific ones) about H, but as for sourcing it, that is really subjective to where you live. I've also wanted to try it once, but being a small female idk if my anxiety would allow me to "befriend" some sketchy folks and try to acquire it myself. If I had some druggie friend already, I would have definitely tried to OD on it. And you're right, there is a part of me that is just angry that it has come down to this decision, and doesn't want to let go. I don't have many options left on the table though, unfortunately. I must make a definite decision very soon.

Why do you need to make up your mind so soon?

 

[jussrav]

Trust me when the pain gets to the point it overrides survival instinct, it becomes easier.

Thats how I am