Venting I just need someone to tell me theyre proud of me…

[obei]

I feel so unworthy of any love or appreciation. I feel like my life would be just a little more worthy of living if I have people that care, think about little things that I care about, and have just healthy relationships w people.
So far I have a father that rly does care and tries his best, but isnt best a comforting, mother that will try and comfort but lecture me after 5 mins, brother that doesnt care to say anything to me, will only give me money if I need it, best friend that does care but we are slowly drifting away, and a therapist whose job is to talk to me.
I dont expect attention all the time or anything, just some verbal and physical clear signs of love. I struggle with understanding signs, I mean I do get them quickly but I dont feel confident in my judgement. I feel so much hatred towards myself. Maybe I am really not deserving of it.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

If you're here on this site you must be suffering and struggling in one way shape or form. So I give you credit for coping the way you have been if you are alive to write this post.

People may not give the proper credit you deserve but don't take that as proof that you don't deserve it period.

 

[tomyumgoong]

I feel so unworthy of any love or appreciation. I feel like my life would be just a little more worthy of living if I have people that care, think about little things that I care about, and have just healthy relationships w people.
So far I have a father that rly does care and tries his best, but isnt best a comforting, mother that will try and comfort but lecture me after 5 mins, brother that doesnt care to say anything to me, will only give me money if I need it, best friend that does care but we are slowly drifting away, and a therapist whose job is to talk to me.
I dont expect attention all the time or anything, just some verbal and physical clear signs of love. I struggle with understanding signs, I mean I do get them quickly but I dont feel confident in my judgement. I feel so much hatred towards myself. Maybe I am really not deserving of it.

It's really understandable to feel that way. Life is hard, so I'm proud of you for still being here at the very least! I hope you can find comfort in the people around you someday. Wishing you the best.

 

[exiled]

For what it's worth from a stranger on the internet, I think you posting here and being open to the extent that you have been is very brave. It takes courage, even if it's behind an anonymous username and photo. These are real feelings and it's difficult to express. I'm proud of you for coming to a forum where you feel safe and heard, and making a thread about what's going on with you. I am sorry that you haven't received the love you deserve and the love that your parents essentially owed you. We underestimate our strength sometimes on this forum. So many of us have incredible trauma from our families/parents. They are supposed to be our first foundation. The first place we learn things from, the first people we model after. Do you realize how hard you are working every single day in order to avoid becoming that? You SHOULD be incredibly proud of yourself for that and you SHOULD be outraged that none of your family members can see that within you.

Cut the lie that you've been told that you are undeserving. I can tell you're a force - one that will break generational curses and will rise above the horrors that you've seen.

 

[deedeme]

I feel so unworthy of any love or appreciation. I feel like my life would be just a little more worthy of living if I have people that care, think about little things that I care about, and have just healthy relationships w people.
So far I have a father that rly does care and tries his best, but isnt best a comforting, mother that will try and comfort but lecture me after 5 mins, brother that doesnt care to say anything to me, will only give me money if I need it, best friend that does care but we are slowly drifting away, and a therapist whose job is to talk to me.
I dont expect attention all the time or anything, just some verbal and physical clear signs of love. I struggle with understanding signs, I mean I do get them quickly but I dont feel confident in my judgement. I feel so much hatred towards myself. Maybe I am really not deserving of it.

I'm proud of you for being able to share your thoughts with us.