Venting I just hit and probably killed a possum and I feel so damn awful

[ThatStateOfMind]

I just hit a possum tonight while driving on some back roads from my aunts house. She lives in the boonies, so to speak. I was driving from her house, saw something in the road, thought it was just some trash, but then it moved, it looked up at me. and ran over into my lane. I literally remember shouting "No!" at the top of my lungs and feeling and hearing a loud thud. I sobbed all the way home, and still feel terrible.

I know it was just a possum, but I don't like killing any living creatures, even bugs besides maybe mosquitos. I won't even kill a fly, I refuse to. I catch spiders, including brown recluses, on/in something to release them outside rather than kill them. I did the same with a black widow. Funny thing is I have a hunting permit, just no license and I've never done it before. This is the first time I've killed an animal, and I am emotionally distraught over this. I just keep thinking about the possum and what if it was pregnant or had a family, and I just feel terrible. I was almost tempted to pull over and cry for a minute, but I drove through it. I just wanted to get home.

I don't know, there's almost no chance that possum survived from how that thud felt. I can't believe I killed it, I hope I can eventually forgive myself for this, but it honestly might take me a minute, and I needed to vent.

 

[BojackHorseman]

I hit a possum once too and felt terrible. I'm vegetarian and dont like the idea of killing animals (althought I admit I am not as generous as you when it comes to the spiders and creepy crawlies). I know nothing can undo the death and pain caused to that individual, but it did bring me some peace later on when I happened to find a baby orphan possum and took it to a wildlife rehabilitator and donated money for its care. We have a nature center the next city over that has almost all orphans. Most the animals are there because of limbs lost from traps, or being orphaned young and not being able to suscessfully rehabilitate. Me and my husband are year members there and donate a little money when we can and it makes me feel good. Is there a place like that where you might could make a small donation? Just an idea to maybe help your conscious feel a little better.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I know it was just a possum, but I don't like killing any living creatures

I can understand it to some point but did you never drive that fast that any insects died on your windshield on a highway? Don't think too much about it, you wouldn't think about it if a predator caught it and ate it - that could very well happen in nature.

If you think about the possum so much, why did you not stop after hitting it with your car?

Is there a place like that where you might could make a small donation? Just an idea to maybe help your conscious feel a little better.

This is called "indulgence trading" - the catholic church invented this in the late middle ages afaik - that won't make the possum alive either.

 

[xinino]

Interesting. I guess people range from sadistic to the most delicate. You can rationalize that it was an accident, and you are not a "killer." The feelings are usually irrational and transient.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I hit a possum once too and felt terrible. I'm vegetarian and dont like the idea of killing animals (althought I admit I am not as generous as you when it comes to the spiders and creepy crawlies). I know nothing can undo the death and pain caused to that individual, but it did bring me some peace later on when I happened to find a baby orphan possum and took it to a wildlife rehabilitator and donated money for its care. We have a nature center the next city over that has almost all orphans. Most the animals are there because of limbs lost from traps, or being orphaned young and not being able to suscessfully rehabilitate. Me and my husband are year members there and donate a little money when we can and it makes me feel good. Is there a place like that where you might could make a small donation? Just an idea to maybe help your conscious feel a little better.

I can't lie, I like the spiders and things like that. We don't have anything like that around here, as far as I know. I'm glad that centers like that exist, and I actually donated a dollar to a possum society online after seeing that recommended elsewhere. I felt a little better after doing it.

If you think about the possum so much, why did you not stop after hitting it with your car?

There are a few reasons. 1, I didn't want to see the dead possum if I did kill it, 2, even if I did, there's nothing I could do. All the vets were closed that late and I don't even think they would help wild animals, and 3, it was insanely late at night on a road with no lights and very rural and everyone I see speeds, and if I had stopped, I could've very well been hit by someone.

Interesting. I guess people range from sadistic to the most delicate. You can rationalize that it was an accident, and you are not a "killer." The feelings are usually irrational and transient.

Yeah, that has been helping me. I know I didn't do it intentionally and the feeling probably is transient. I also felt bad because I'm usually able to brake before hitting animals but I wasn't able to this time because I realized it was an animal too late.