Venting I just dont want to suffer anymore.

[PatKat]

Fuck I have been suffering since I was 12 that is 22 years of my life suffering... Why do I have to do this. Noone can help me

 

[bigj75]

that's the horror of it. If people weren't selfish. If they actually did want to help then you wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

 

[Clover]

I hate how hard everything is for so many people :(

 

[bigj75]

I hate how hard everything is for so many people :(

I just wish ctb was easy. It's so difficult and there is so much risk.

 

[JazzyWolfWhistle]

And don't we keep coming here, to sanctioned suicide, looking for proof that our chosen suicide method will work so we can have some peace of mind?

 

[bigj75]

And don't we keep coming here, to sanctioned suicide, looking for proof that our chosen suicide method will work so we can have some peace of mind?

yes sir.

 

[JazzyWolfWhistle]

How many of us will really commit suicide? Isn't it unhealthy to keep coming here if we aren't going to? We might be lying to each other. We could be hiding in a fantasy of possible suicide while our lives get worse because of it. Please don't feel attacked by this idea. This is just a middle of the night thought. I don't want to make it any worse for you.

 

[JazzyWolfWhistle]

Im too tired to be posting. Please forgiven me if I caused you distress.

 

[bigj75]

How many of us will really commit suicide? Isn't it unhealthy to keep coming here if we aren't going to? We might be lying to each other. We could be hiding in a fantasy of possible suicide while our lives get worse because of it. Please don't feel attacked by this idea. This is just a middle of the night thought. I don't want to make it any worse for you.

honestly i think we are just waiting until we burn completely out. Plus the fear of a improper method.

 

[JazzyWolfWhistle]

So what should we do then? Stop fantasizing about suicide and move on? Or become a better suicide student and learn an effective method well? Is that another lie? How resolved to commit suicide are we?

 

[bigj75]

So what should we do then? Stop fantasizing about suicide and move on? Or become a better suicide student and learn an effective method well? Is that another lie? How resolved to commit suicide are we?

it's not that simple to answer. At least for me it isn't. All I want is a quick and easy method without failure but that doesn't exist so i have to take more time to prepare properly for the next best thing. Until then talking on here helps a little since i found people i can relate to. I've tried twice but my knowledge at those times were not as extensive as it is now. I know deep down in my core I need to ctb.

 

[JazzyWolfWhistle]

How will you ctb?

 

[bigj75]

How will you ctb?

either gun or partial suspension.

 

[JazzyWolfWhistle]

I keep telling myself I can overdose but it seems unlikely and I only tell myself that so I can have peace of mind, but then I realize how unlikely it is and I loose that peace of mind.
The gun seems good.
I tried to find my cartiod artery but couldn't.
For people like us who have started to depended on the the thought of suicide it's almost like we've acquired an addiction to it. The purest fix is the certainty of death by our method but we need more accurate how to information and facts everyday because each everyday facts and doubts come along to disrupt that certainty that we had from the old information.
Maybe artificial intelligence will one day analyze these posts and posts like them and finally people like us will be given the means to kill ourselves easily, certainly, and painlessly.
I don't like this frame of mind. I want out of it.
Shouldn't there be suicide hotlines that direct us to how to die instead of how to live because that's our cure? Or are we hurting ourselves by thinking about it too much?

 

[Lara Francis]

So what should we do then? Stop fantasizing about suicide and move on? Or become a better suicide student and learn an effective method well? Is that another lie? How resolved to commit suicide are we?

There's only one way to find out !
I Have no doubt that many of us are serious - I can say I would be on this site otherwise

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I keep telling myself I can overdose but it seems unlikely and I only tell myself that so I can have peace of mind, but then I realize how unlikely it is and I loose that peace of mind.
The gun seems good.
I tried to find my cartiod artery but couldn't.
For people like us who have started to depended on the the thought of suicide it's almost like we've acquired an addiction to it. The purest fix is the certainty of death by our method but we need more accurate how to information and facts everyday because each everyday facts and doubts come along to disrupt that certainty that we had from the old information.
Maybe artificial intelligence will one day analyze these posts and posts like them and finally people like us will be given the means to kill ourselves easily, certainly, and painlessly.
I don't like this frame of mind. I want out of it.
Shouldn't there be suicide hotlines that direct us to how to die instead of how to live because that's our cure? Or are we hurting ourselves by thinking about it too much?

Yes, its a form of obsession. Magical thinking. Just one act to make all the bad stuff go away. Nothing positive can come of thinking this way. I think that if you expect a positive result then you may be delusional. However, many people are in such a bad way that they just want everything to stop. I trawl these forums hoping for a magical post that confirms a true peaceful pill that is easy to get and does the job. Which is nonsense. And even if I got it, I suspect that the reality of death may have something else in store.

But that's the problem with obsession: you keep doing it even though you know it won't help and is destructive.

 

[Final Escape]

that's the horror of it. If people weren't selfish. If they actually did want to help then you wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

People are selfish and it's actually normal, the problem is that if you create incentives that don't reward people to help other people then they won't. These services are made scarce because we have rulers called the state. Not all people are empathic or want to help the disadvantaged but many do. It's just that if it's discouraged then you will have less voluntary charity to give more involved help for people who need it. It is actually very complicated to help other people and the state is horrible at doing it because it wants to perpetuate dependence instead of getting people to be self reliant. The state diverts resources away from helping people who need help by altering the incentive structure.

 

[Ben]

And don't we keep coming here, to sanctioned suicide, looking for proof that our chosen suicide method will work so we can have some peace of mind?

Maybe some people do, but that's not why I'm here. I know how to kill myself. I'm just enjoying the company of others who are like me. Opening talking about sucide without judgement is something special. I don't have to keep thoughts in my head, I can say whatever I'm feeling here. Also reading other people's stories and struggles is both facninating and comforting.

I will say though, this site is probably the best I've ever come across to help guide you on your way to CTB. I see people's stresses and worries be alieviated by somebody with the appropriate knowledge they need.

 

[Ashpac]

either gun or partial suspension.

Brave person for considering a gun. Id probs pick partial over a gun.

 

[PatKat]

Brave person for considering a gun. Id probs pick partial over a gun.

Yea I wouldnt use a firearm either. Partial is my method also had some fails but I will get it right eventually...

 

[Ashpac]

Yea I wouldnt use a firearm either. Partial is my method also had some fails but I will get it right eventually...

Ive got it down to a Tee as they say. When i did my tester i lost my vision after 2/3 seconds.
I thought my SN method would work, but its not consistent sadly. So im unsure.

 

[PatKat]

Ive got it down to a Tee as they say. When i did my tester i lost my vision after 2/3 seconds.
I thought my SN method would work, but its not consistent sadly. So im unsure.

Well my roommate forgot her ipad and found my hanging, unconscious, and not breathing... Just a few more mins. I tested the belt and the door day before yeaterday and i blacked out but the belt broke. :(

 

[Ashpac]

Ahh right, so you gonna change the support?
I have found out that a pull up bar and some rope does the trick.

 

[PatKat]

Ahh right, so you gonna change the support?
I have found out that a pull up bar and some rope does the trick.

I will use the door still just trying to find a ligature to use currently. So far i have found a robe belt idk if that will hold me. I wish they would give me my 6mm hemp back...

 

[bigj75]

Brave person for considering a gun. Id probs pick partial over a gun.

After seeing that partial suspension with the blonde girl it really made me consider it. She was pretty much gone after 15 seconds if they didnt save her.

 

[PatKat]

After seeing that partial suspension with the blonde girl it really made me consider it. She was pretty much gone after 15 seconds if they didnt save her.

Which blonde girl?

 

[bigj75]

Which blonde girl?

she may have been brunette.

 

[Brokenanddeadinside]

I have a few methods I have in mind. One is shooting myself with a shotgun, going full speed and crashing motorcycle which would be a fitting death as I'm a biker and my mom was killed on a motorcycle, or I would prefer drug overdose or using n.

 

[PatKat]

I have a few methods I have in mind. One is shooting myself with a shotgun, going full speed and crashing motorcycle which would be a fitting death as I'm a biker and my mom was killed on a motorcycle, or I would prefer drug overdose or using n.

I wouldnt shoot myself, I tried the car crash into a wall at 75MPH no luck still here...

 

[Firefly1]

How many of us will really commit suicide? Isn't it unhealthy to keep coming here if we aren't going to? We might be lying to each other. We could be hiding in a fantasy of possible suicide while our lives get worse because of it. Please don't feel attacked by this idea. This is just a middle of the night thought. I don't want to make it any worse for you.

I think the main reason we come here is for the sadistic satisfaction that we're not alone and others are also suffering... And also to find effective ways to ctb