uncat_
aspiring corpse
- Nov 3, 2023
- 145
every single time life get slightly scary, i want to give up and run away. everything in my life is honestly perfect. I have friends, i have an amazing partner, i have parents and a family that love me, im going to college for trying to pursue an actual career goddamn it. so why do i keep getting worse and worse. i hate myself so much for it. i feel selfish. i am so loved by so many people, but i can't help but want to run from them. im so fucking stressed right now, school is kicking my ass, and i know that's normal in college. but this amount of stress just cannot be normal. And if the amount of stress is normal, i highly doubt it's normal to be having so many suicidal thoughts each time things become slightly stressful. im pathetic, im actually fucking pathetic.
i just don't want to be here. except i do. i so badly want to make a decent life for myself in this world, but i feel it slipping away. i feel myself slipping away. i dont know whats really motivating me anymore. i just want to give up. i just want everyone to forget about me. i just wish i didn't have a brain that is constantly against me.
i just want to give in.
im pathetic. im useless.
i just dont want to be here, im so sorry
i miss my psych wards. i miss not caring about my future. i miss believing i would actually end it.
im tired of burdening my loved ones (especially my partner) with my constant whining about life. i know he'd rather i whine than end my life, but fuck, i feel guilty. i dont know how to live a life without constantly complaining, i dont know how to live a life that means something. i dont know how to exist properly. i just want to be sane, but there is no sanity in this world.
i just don't want to be here. except i do. i so badly want to make a decent life for myself in this world, but i feel it slipping away. i feel myself slipping away. i dont know whats really motivating me anymore. i just want to give up. i just want everyone to forget about me. i just wish i didn't have a brain that is constantly against me.
i just want to give in.
im pathetic. im useless.
i just dont want to be here, im so sorry
i miss my psych wards. i miss not caring about my future. i miss believing i would actually end it.
im tired of burdening my loved ones (especially my partner) with my constant whining about life. i know he'd rather i whine than end my life, but fuck, i feel guilty. i dont know how to live a life without constantly complaining, i dont know how to live a life that means something. i dont know how to exist properly. i just want to be sane, but there is no sanity in this world.
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