Discussion I just cut ties with the person I used to consider my best friend.

[Sinai Silence]

And I felt nothing. Just impatient to get it over with and as numb as usual. She obviously didn't take it well and said she was 'quite worried' and wanted to talk face to face but I just can't be arsed lol

She said how it 'felt so final' but I think I gave a good enough justification for it, I didn't want to upset her but I feel that's kinda difficult when cutting ties with someone you've know for years. We hadn't talked in ages and had been growing apart for a long time, I just told her I felt like we were beating a dead horse. It should make it easier for her when I ctb, not that it matters in the grand scheme of things.

I wish I could've just stopped talking to her, but she lives pretty close to me and its impossible to escape anyone in this f*cking town.

"Such an awful thing to say and i hope your new friends can help you. Bye." That's the last thing she said to me, seems fitting in a way.

So my question to you guys is how did you cut ties with people close to you and why did you feel it was necessary? Do you think it will benefit them when you go to ctb?

 

[Life_and_Death]

i just stopped talking to her. she went behind my back with my bf and started to build their relationship. not that it matters hes an abusive a**hole. they deserve each other.

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

the best friends I ever had, we fell out over a girl, worse decision of my life, was on my own for the rest of my life.

 

[Sinai Silence]

i just stopped talking to her. she went behind my back with my bf and started to build their relationship. not that it matters hes an abusive a**hole. they deserve each other.

Fuck em' both, may they rot together.

the best friends I ever had, we fell out over a girl, worse decision of my life, was on my own for the rest of my life.

Would there be any way of you two rekindling your friendship or was it too much? It's sad to hear you fell out over a girl.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Fuck em' both, may they rot together.

i tried to be friend her again but i just couldnt. she told everyone to not tell me. she always put me last after all her friends even if we made plans first. shes just not worth my time

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

no it was long ago but I'm just saying real friends are rare, so think carefully and don't make the same mistake.

 

[Sinai Silence]

i tried to be friend her again but i just couldnt. she told everyone to not tell me. she always put me last after all her friends even if we made plans first. shes just not worth my time

True that, people who go behind their friends back are just the worst. It's awful that a lot of other people knew and she still tried to hide it, what a b*tch. You deserve much better than her.

no it was long ago but I'm just saying real friends are rare, so think carefully and don't make the same mistake.

I'm sorry to hear you aren't able to talk to them again.

Well its all said and done, she wont be talking to me again I don't think. She is a great person so it did feel difficult doing it, but it was necessary. It was just the straw that broke the camel's back at the end of the day. I'm gonna CTB soon so it really doesn't matter much now.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

My best friend lived with me three different times and each time was worse than the previous. She was a long time recovering addict and alcoholic but was still manipulative, self-centered, and often on dry drunks. Whenever I needed her help, it always became about her needing help. She was well aware I always ended up getting the shit end of our friendship but just couldn't stop herself. The last time we lived together, after a year or so I couldn't deal with her shit anymore and I told her she had to move out when the lease was up in two months and I was moving too, but then she moved out and I kept the apartment. I got back in contact several years later and within two days her shitty behaviors started up again, and I could tell she knew it. I sent her a gentle but assertive email and said it was the same old shit and goodbye. No response of course, as per usual. She'd always feel like shit and self-falgellate but never apologize or make efforts to change. Ten years of that kind of shit. I know she can't help it, but damn if I'll carry it anymore, I've learned to accept her as she is and that means to not interact with her or her unacceptable stuff. She was really draining. When I kicked her out she moved across the country, and now I'm in a different country, and we have no friends in common anymore, so no chance of renewing contact, it's definitely not her way, I was always the one to renew contact because she was too busy self-flagellating to stop and contact me, admit her shit, do the work of reconciliation, and have a healed and healthy relationship with me. I always made it too easy for her. I made everything too easy for her. The alternative was no friendship at all. It sucked. I wish her well, but I wish her to be well very far away from me.

Why did you cut off ties with your friend? It wasn't clear. Did you do it just because you're planning to ctb, or had she not been a good friend, or both?

 

[Squiddy]

I had to cut off a toxic friend I considered my favorite person (in terms of BPD). She was never happy for me when I was happy for her, would never check up on me and got mad at me for the stupidest shit. The last straw was when she blocked me from seeing her content on Facebook and said she wanted people who were there for her (I was) she also said she was jealous of me because my parents paid for my car while she had to work for hers and told me that my parents were "so rich" (they're not) while hers were "so poor" like give me a fucking break

 

[Sinai Silence]

My best friend lived with me three different times and each time was worse than the previous. She was a long time recovering addict and alcoholic but was still manipulative, self-centered, and often on dry drunks. Whenever I needed her help, it always became about her needing help. She was well aware I always ended up getting the shit end of our friendship but just couldn't stop herself. The last time we lived together, after a year or so I couldn't deal with her shit anymore and I told her she had to move out when the lease was up in two months and I was moving too, but then she moved out and I kept the apartment. I got back in contact several years later and within two days her shitty behaviors started up again, and I could tell she knew it. I sent her a gentle but assertive email and said it was the same old shit and goodbye. No response of course, as per usual. She'd always feel like shit and self-falgellate but never apologize or make efforts to change. Ten years of that kind of shit. I know she can't help it, but damn if I'll carry it anymore, I've learned to accept her as she is and that means to not interact with her or her unacceptable stuff. She was really draining. When I kicked her out she moved across the country, and now I'm in a different country, and we have no friends in common anymore, so no chance of renewing contact, it's definitely not her way, I was always the one to renew contact because she was too busy self-flagellating to stop and contact me, admit her shit, do the work of reconciliation, and have a healed and healthy relationship with me. I always made it too easy for her. I made everything too easy for her. The alternative was no friendship at all. It sucked. I wish her well, but I wish her to be well very far away from me.

Why did you cut off ties with your friend? It wasn't clear. Did you do it just because you're planning to ctb, or had she not been a good friend, or both?

I know how it feels living with an addict and alcoholic, it is very draining on everyone around them and every problem of their become someone else's. I think it's for the best that you were able to eventually cut ties with her, I know how it feels to keep giving people you care about a second, third, fourth chance. It's kinda like investing in a company or stocks that you know are gonna fail but you have a shred of hope they'll come through for you. It is very difficult to try and change people who only think about themselves, I'm glad you were able to move on from it and I hope both you and she is doing okay, wherever she is right now.

Sorry I didn't make it so clear. I don't think she wasn't a good friend, we had just not spoke in ages and had really grown apart. I really can't stand it when I bump into people I used to be close with and become shadows of my past, it feels like a knife going through my heart. So I just decided the best thing for me was to cut ties, kinda like ripping off a band aid. I don't know whether or not me doing that would help her get over me CTB but if it does then that's just an added bonus. She is problematic at times, but she was in no way a bad person to me. I had tried to keep in touch with her but after a while it just felt pointless.

I had to cut off a toxic friend I considered my favorite person (in terms of BPD). She was never happy for me when I was happy for her, would never check up on me and got mad at me for the stupidest shit. The last straw was when she blocked me from seeing her content on Facebook and said she wanted people who were there for her (I was) she also said she was jealous of me because my parents paid for my car while she had to work for hers and told me that my parents were "so rich" (they're not) while hers were "so poor" like give me a fucking break

Sounds like she was pretty self centered and envious of you at the same time. Quite conflicting in a way. It is never fun to feel like you're walking on eggshells in any sort of relationship. Seems like you dodged a bullet on that one. I hope you were able to find some more laid back friends :)

 

[Squiddy]

I know how it feels living with an addict and alcoholic, it is very draining on everyone around them and every problem of their become someone else's. I think it's for the best that you were able to eventually cut ties with her, I know how it feels to keep giving people you care about a second, third, fourth chance. It's kinda like investing in a company or stocks that you know are gonna fail but you have a shred of hope they'll come through for you. It is very difficult to try and change people who only think about themselves, I'm glad you were able to move on from it and I hope both you and she is doing okay, wherever she is right now.

Sorry I didn't make it so clear. I don't think she wasn't a good friend, we had just not spoke in ages and had really grown apart. I really can't stand it when I bump into people I used to be close with and become shadows of my past, it feels like a knife going through my heart. So I just decided the best thing for me was to cut ties, kinda like ripping off a band aid. I don't know whether or not me doing that would help her get over me CTB but if it does then that's just an added bonus. She is problematic at times, but she was in no way a bad person to me. I had tried to keep in touch with her but after a while it just felt pointless.

Sounds like she was pretty self centered and envious of you at the same time. Quite conflicting in a way. It is never fun to feel like you're walking on eggshells in any sort of relationship. Seems like you dodged a bullet on that one. I hope you were able to find some more laid back friends :)

Yeah I've found much better friends. It hurt at first though and for awhile because I've known her since 11th grade and felt like I couldn't live without her. I do admit though that 5% of the end of the friendship was my fault because when I was manic at one point (also have bipolar), I showed her a picture of my self harm cuts (idk why). She said she couldn't trust me after that no matter how much I apologized

 

[Sinai Silence]

Yeah I've found much better friends. It hurt at first though and for awhile because I've known her since 11th grade and felt like I couldn't live without her. I do admit though that 5% of the end of the friendship was my fault because when I was manic at one point (also have bipolar), I showed her a picture of my self harm cuts (idk why). She said she couldn't trust me after that no matter how much I apologized

That's good to hear, good friends are hard to come by. It is hard to lose a friend after such a long time, hurts the most. I don't think its fair to say it was your fault though, those things were completely out of your control. It's sad to hear that she reacted like that, from what I've experienced it is necessary to tell someone about it, you trusted her and she just threw it back in your face, I hope your new friends are more empathetic. I showed my cuts to my best friend too. She thought I was gonna confess my love to her but instead I whip my arms out and she freaked the f*ck out. She kissed me and hugged me for a while, not that it helped or anything. I just needed to tell someone about it and she was the first person I told, it felt like the first step on a long road of self confidence to wear short sleeves again. I will always appreciate whats she's done for me. Its hurt for a long time to grow apart from her, I felt my actions were necessary.

 

[Squiddy]

That's good to hear, good friends are hard to come by. It is hard to lose a friend after such a long time, hurts the most. I don't think its fair to say it was your fault though, those things were completely out of your control. It's sad to hear that she reacted like that, from what I've experienced it is necessary to tell someone about it, you trusted her and she just threw it back in your face, I hope your new friends are more empathetic. I showed my cuts to my best friend too. She thought I was gonna confess my love to her but instead I whip my arms out and she freaked the f*ck out. She kissed me and hugged me for a while, not that it helped or anything. I just needed to tell someone about it and she was the first person I told, it felt like the first step on a long road of self confidence to wear short sleeves again. I will always appreciate whats she's done for me. Its hurt for a long time to grow apart from her, I felt my actions were necessary.

Yeah my new friends are more empathetic. I'll treasure the good times with my ex friend when she would take me to the amusement park a lot

 

[BPD Barbie]

I, unfortunately, just ghost people. I know, I know, its a horrible thing to do but they get the message pretty quickly and don't tend to keep on. I struggle massively with friendship as I find it overwhelming and suffocating at times, so I figured I'm better off alone but damn I'm so lonely.

 

[Sinai Silence]

I, unfortunately, just ghost people. I know, I know, its a horrible thing to do but they get the message pretty quickly and don't tend to keep on. I struggle massively with friendship as I find it overwhelming and suffocating at times, so I figured I'm better off alone but damn I'm so lonely.

Some things are just best left unsaid, if that how you deal with it best then all power to you. Same here, it does feel really draining a lot of the time, feeling lonely in a room full of people hurts. I hope you're able to find some friends that you are comfortable to be around.