I just can't feel good

[SuicideGirl2105]

Literally I just can't feel good, all the time I have a little voice in my head saying "you're worthless, you can't do anything right, your only victory ever could be being death" ... I feel sad, I don't wanna live anymore but I'm not that strong to suicide.

 

[LittleJem]

I personally think these voices are from neurochemical imbalance or from a brain programme that is running e.g. trauma. It's not your voice saying this, it's that your brain is unhappy chemically speaking. This is from my experience of these voices.

My voice for many years every day was 'I hate myself and want to die'. That was my morning voice. It used to be just the mornings, though the whole day was full of agitation etc. The hate voice I was lucky went with ayahuasca, though my depression stayed with me and worsened as I got older.

The wanting to die right now isnt' with me as I have a treatment that is helping. It's been about 3 weeks. Over the past few years, I have had maybe 3 or 4 weeks off a year, due each time to some supplement that helped.

I'm sure or hope you have tried treatment, and I know how hard it is to find something that helps. All of my own personal research I have put in this forum. Different things can help different people. It's worth trying different things.

I'm just saying the voices are not you and that you can keep trying to treat them.

 

[WornOutLife]

I've heard that voice many times and was really close to lose my mind.
Just try to think of something you still have. It could be a hobby, a pet, a friend, whatever!

In my case, my dog and my hobby (japanese) have saved me!

 

[SuicideGirl2105]

I've heard that voice many times and was really close to lose my mind.
Just try to think of something you still have. It could be a hobby, a pet, a friend, whatever!

In my case, my dog and my hobby (japanese) have saved me!

You study japanese? me too :D
but I leave it because of the pandemic

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

Same, dumb brain not going to make anything better with the way it works. Wish it had an off switch.
I did manage to turn it off by falling asleep an hour ago but my cat woke me up snoring like some old man.

 

[WornOutLife]

Our depressed minds love telling us how much we suck and how we'll never probably be "good" again.

What I did, to feel a bit good at least, was start doing some small things such as cleaning up my apartment every day. Being in a tidy environment made me automatically feel better and have more energy to do some more stuff. Maybe it sounds ridiculous but it really worked for me!

 

[SuicideGirl2105]

metro

A nuestras mentes deprimidas les encanta decirnos cuánto apestamos y cómo probablemente nunca volveremos a ser "buenos".

Lo que hice, al menos para sentirme un poco bien, fue empezar a hacer pequeñas cosas como limpiar mi apartamento todos los días. Estar en un ambiente ordenado me hizo sentir automáticamente mejor y tener más energía para hacer algunas cosas más. Tal vez suene ridículo, ¡pero realmente funcionó para mí!
so good for you

 

[WornOutLife]

You study japanese? me too :D
but I leave it because of the pandemic

I hadn't seen your comment!! lol
Yes, I've been studying japanese for a year, on my own.
Let's say I have an intermediate level. I know about 1000 kanji but I'm still learning their goddamn compound forms before memorizing more kanji haha.

Hope you can study japanese again soon!

 

[FuneralCry]

I know how that feels, our minds do like to torture us. I have always suffered from overactive thoughts. It's why I welcome death, I see it as an eternal sleep free from our thoughts. I feel scared of actually doing ctb, I lack the courage too.I wish you the best.